


Who The Duck Drank my Last Juice Box???

by Magical_Awesome_Kid



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: College AU, F/M, Gen, M/M, WE SHARING A HOUSE BOIS, it's gonna be fun, text chat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-17
Updated: 2018-01-07
Packaged: 2019-02-03 12:09:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 37,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12748038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magical_Awesome_Kid/pseuds/Magical_Awesome_Kid
Summary: College is crazy, especially when you live in a house with a probably British duchess, the original Memelord, your older brother, the biggest drama queen in the world, a gremlin, and Hunk. At least they have a group chat to come together and yell at whoever fucked up today.Group Chat College Roommate AU





	1. First Day Housemates!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't done a chat fic before but I hope that you all enjoy!
> 
> Quick Notes:  
> Shiro (25)  
> \- 2nd year Grad Student Astrophysics  
> \- ShiroGONE  
> Matt (25)  
> \- 2nd year Grad Student Biochemistry (emphasis on xenobiology)  
> \- Matt-o-fact  
> Allura (25)  
> \- 3rd year Grad Student Law  
> \- PrincessPink  
> Hunk (19)  
> \- Sophomore Undergrad Applied Engineering  
> \- Hunkahunka  
> Lance (19)  
> \- Sophomore Undergrad Aerospace Engineering  
> \- Lacelot(offun)  
> Keith (19)  
> \- Sophomore Undergrad Aerospace Engineering  
> \- Mulletboi  
> Pidge (16)  
> \- Sophomore Undergrad Computer Engineer  
> \- Pidgeot

**_Lancelot(offun)_ ** _added **Hunkahunka, Pidgeot, Mulletboi, ShiroGONE, PrincessPink,** and **Matt-o-fact** to the group chat!_

 **_Lancelot(offun)_ ** _renamed the chat **Castle of Lions**_

 **Lancelot(offun):** HELLO MY BELOVED HOUSEMATES who the DUCK drank my last juice box?

 **Lancelot(offun):** *fuck

 **Pidgeot:** duck

 **Mulletboi:** duck

 **PrincessPink:** duck

 **Matt-o-fact:** GOOSE

 **Pidgeot:** gtfo Matt

 **Matt-o-fact:** if I’m going down I’m taking the secret of the juice with me

 **Lancelot(offun):** WAIT WHO TOOK IT??? It was keith wasn’t it

 **Mulletboi:** I don’t even LIKE your weird juice

 **Lancelot(offun):** WHO DOESN’T LIKE MANGO???

 **Hunkahunka:** Lance chill I can swing by the store on my way home

 **Lancelot(offun):** But that’s not the POINT Hunk! My first class is in an hour and it’s TRADIION

 **Pidgeot:** tradiion

 **Lancelot(offun):** I know where u live Pidge

 **Pidgeot:** yeah down the hall from u

 **PrincessPink:** well I didn’t do it but I think I remember seeing it there when I left this morning

 **Lancelot(offun):** Yeah but u teach at, like, seven AM no one else is up until nine

 **Matt-o-fact:** As a matter of fact… there WAS someone up early today…

 **Lancelot(offun):** Wait… u don’t mean..

 **ShiroGONE:** HEY GUYS so this morning I MIGHT have accidentally grabbed the wrong drink from the fridge…

 **ShiroGONE:** In my defense I hadn’t had any coffee and thought it was my protein shake

 **Lancelot(offun):** GASP

 **Pidgeot:** PLOT TWIST

 **Hunkahunka:** It’s always the quiet ones

 **Lancelot(offun):** BETRAYED BY MY OWN SPACE DAD

 **Mulletboi:** Hey Lance is this that stupid drink you’re crying about?

 **_Mulletboi_ ** _sent one picture_

 **Lancelot(offun):** I KNEW U STOLE IT

 **Mulletboi:** I FOUND IT BEHIND MY ALMOND MILK U FUCKER

 **Hunkahunka:** Oh… so it must have fallen against the door and behind the milk

 **PrincessPink:** Crisis aborted

 **Lancelot(offun):** AHHHHH THANK YOU KEITHY U SAVED THE DAY WITH YOUR STUPID LACTOSE INTOLLERANCE!!!

 **Lancelot(offun):** Shiro is dead to me

 **ShiroGONE:** I’m running past the specialty market

 **ShiroGONE:** I’m going in to get cereal but I’ll get u some of that mango juice

 **Lancelot(offun):** …

 **Lancelot(offun):** BEST SPACE DAD EVER

 **Matt-o-fact:** Don’t you mean Space Daddy?

 **Pidgeot:** Blocked

 **Hunkahunka:** Blocked

 **Lancelot(offun):** Blocked

 **Matt-o-fact:** BETRAYED BY MY OWN MEME SON AND SISTER AND HUNK

 **Mulletboi:** Blocked

 **Mulletboi:** also grab me that dairy-free ice cream while you’re there that doesn’t taste like shit

 **PrincessPink:** Oh! And some Marmite would be GREAT

 **ShiroGONE:** yes yes I am the resident shopping dude jus make sure to leave money in on the counter or whatever

 **Hunkahunka:** Hey Lance shouldn’t you be leaving for class? We have English in 20

 **Lancelot(offun):** DUCK

 **Pidgeot:** Duck

* * *

**PrincessPink:** Why the Castle of Lions?

 **Matt-o-fact:** yeah the house isn’t exactly a castle

 **Lancelot(offun):** Well there was no way I was calling it the “house of lions” because that reminds me of “house of mouse”

 **Lancelot(offun):** and as much as I love Disney I don’t love the name that much

 **Hunkahunka:** ok then but lions?

 **Lancelot(offun):** well u know how that one wall has all the weird paint effect like someone globbed tons of paint on it?

 **Lancelot(offun):** and when we moved in how Keith got so mad at something (idk what) and punched the wall and left a dent?

 **PrincessPink:** we are never getting the deposit back

 **Lancelot(offun):** Well after that I couldn’t stop looking at it and for some reason it looks like a lion to me??? Like a big, blue, globby lion with a dented eye

 **Lancelot(offun):** So Castle of Lions

 **Pidgeot:** I mean it could be worse

 **Pidgeot:** Keith could have named the chat

 **Mulletboi:** next time u want to go cryptid hunting u can go without me

 **Pidgeot:** u wouldn’t survive ten seconds without me

 **Mulletboi:** I have a knife

 **Pidgeot:** and I have a taser

 **Hunkahunka:** I feel like I should be concerned with the number of weapons being discussed

 **Hunkahunka:** especially since all of them are banned on campus

 **Matt-o-fact:** I’ve used Shiro’s arm before as a weapon and that’s allowed on campus

 **ShiroGONE:** you mean the time u stole my arm when I was in the bathroom sophomore year and went running around the dorm with it and scared all the freshmen?

 **Matt-o-fact:** good times…

 **PrincessPink:** Didn’t you get written up for that?

 **Matt-o-fact:** GOOD TIMES…

 **ShiroGONE:** wait it’s, like, one – Matt aren’t u supposed to be holding a lab???

 **Matt-o-fact:** it’s the first day I had the twerps check their lab equipment out and now they’re just playing with acid

 **Lancelot(offun):** Like the GOOD acid or…

 **Matt-o-fact:** no the acid that can burn your skin off if you’re stupid

 **Pidgeot:** that IS the fun acid tho

 **Hunkahunka:** that’s it I’m buying babyproof locks and putting them on all the cabinets when I get home

 **Hunkahunka:** partially because I’m concerned you all are going to burn down the house but also because I don’t want Shiro anywhere near the kitchen

 **ShiroGONE:** you burn ONE pizza

 **Mulletboi:** you burned SIX all because you KEPT LEAVING THE PAPER ON

 **Matt-o-fact:** EXPOSED by the brother

 **Matt-o-fact:** *pats head* there there I know your pain

 **Pidgeot:** yeah brothers suck you’re better off with a sister

 **Matt-o-fact:** RUDE

 **Pidgeot:** TRUTH

 **Matt-o-fact:** GO TO CLASS

 **Pidgeot:** YOU’RE NOT MY DAD

 **Matt-o-fact:** YEAH BUT I CAN CALL DAD ON U

 **Pidgeot:** THEN I’LL TELL MOM ABOUT THE INCIDENT

 **Matt-o-fact:** … we seem to have come to an impasse

 **Lancelot(offun):** wow what’s this incident?

 **Matt-o-fact:** nothing don’t worry your pretty head over it

 **Pidgeot:** it’s my blackmail get your own

 **PrincessPink:** *sigh* why must I be the adult here…

 **PrincessPink:** Pidge do go to class it’s the first day and u need the syllabus

 **Pidgeot:** but it’s posted online

 **PrincessPink:** Yes but seeing your professors is a good way to start the year

 **Pidgeot:** uhg… fine…

 **ShiroGONE:** Allura HOW do you have more control of our siblings then WE do???

 **Mulletboi:** FIGHT THE MAN

 **PrincessPink:** I am no man

 **Mulletboi:** fuck

 **Lancelot(offun):** SHE’S THE QUEEN U HEATHENS

 **Hunkahunka:** She’s royalty

 **Hunkahunka:** Kinda

 **Pidgeot:** British Royalty

 **Lancelot(offun):** Allura for British Queen 2k17

 **PrincessPink:** I have my ways

 **Lancelot(offun):** …omg the fire alarm just went off in chem

 **Mulletboi:** I think this is a new record

 **Hunkahunka:** Which idiot started a fire on the first day???

 **Matt-o-fact:** FUCK A KID STARTED A FIRE

 **Pidgeot:** well we know which idiot let it happen…

 **Lancelot(offun):** meet you fuckers outside while the fire department sorts this shit out

 **Lancelot(offun):** except Matt I guess he’ll probs have to talk to them

 **Pidgeot:** Again, which idiot thought it was a smart idea to put MY MEMLORD BROTHER in charge of a class of FRESHMEN CHEMISTS???

 **Mulletboi:** where r u guys I’m outside

 **Hunkahunka:** I’m by that weird looking tree in front of the coffee shop

 **Lancelot(offun):** Oh I see u!!! Meet u there!!! 

* * *

**_Lancelot(offun)_ ** _to **Mulletboi**_

 **Lancelot(offun):** So… when do u want to spill the news?

 **Mulletboi:** Lance it is three AM I have an 8 am tomorrow

 **Lancelot(offun):** I know I know but keeping the dating thing secret is going to be harder now that we all moved in

 **Lancelot(offun):** Like IDK how but I really like this and I don’t want to ruin it

 **Mulletboi:** …

 **Mulletboi:** yeah me neither

 **Mulletboi:** I mean when u asked me out I thought this was just going to put my stupid gay crush away but then it turned out pretty nice???

 **Lancelot(offun):** Aw u had a gay crush on me?

 **Mulletboi:** we’re dating

 **Mulletboi:** and all my crushes are gay I’M gay

 **Mulletboi:** but I don’t care but I don’t want everyone to lose their shit or whatever

 **Lancelot(offun):** Fair

 **Lancelot(offun):** Allura will have my hide for hiding this for so long

 **Lancelot(offun):** she’s been on me for all my crushes since forever

 **Mulletboi:** Matt will meme forever

 **Mulletboi:** And Shiro might have a hernia if he found out

 **Lancelot(offun):** old man

 **Mulletboi:** yup

 **Lancelot(offun):** ok so no need to sneak I guess we’ll just let things happen

 **Mulletboi:** great glad we worked that out now GO TO SLEEP GET SOME REST U BEAUTIFUL MOTHER FUCKER

 **Lancelot(offun):** FUCK OFF U WONDERFUL PIECE OF SHIT

 **Mulletboi:** LOVE YOU GOODNIGHT

 **Lancelot(offun):** LOVE YOU TOO SLEEP TIGHT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHH it begins!
> 
> So yeah all of them live together in a rented house (it's a thing) at the same university! Lance's juice thing will be explained later but the fun has just begun!
> 
> As for Lance and Keith, they started dating low-key because they're fighting actually started from crushing, so, to sort things out Lance just ASKED keith out. Keith agreed (surprisingly) and they agreed to keep it hush hush in case it didn't work because they didn't want to ruin the friend group. They're actually great together and basically have toned the fighting to petty arguments interspersed with aggressive compliments and cuddles. They're not going to outright tell anyone yet but they're not going to make it the BIGGEST SECRET EVER no they'll just keep doing what they've been doing and see how it works out.
> 
> PS Keith, like me, is not a fan of PDA so he's not going out of his way to do anything anyway and Lance respects that because LANCE.
> 
> See u un chapter 2: How is Physics Awesome???


	2. How is Physics Awesome???

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Matt-o-fact:** HE WAS AND IS THE GREATEST MAN I HAVE EVER KNOWN
> 
>  **Matt-o-fact:** myself included
> 
>  **Pidgeot:** everyone’s better then u matt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEHE the undergrads have physics and blessed be these bois
> 
> Also Klance thinks they're sly but their not

**Castle of Lions**

**Mulletboi:** OK HOW IS PHYSICS SO AWESOME??? Like it fuckin SUCKED in hs

 **Lancelot(offun):** I KNOW RIGHT

 **Hunkahunka:** OMG this teacher is amazing

 **Matt-o-fact:** DID YOU GET THACE???

 **Mulletboi:** WE GOT THACE

 **ShiroGONE:** blessed be these bois

 **Pidgeot:** wait who’s thrace?

 **PrincessPink:** isn’t that the professor u guys had???

 **ShiroGONE:** oh heck yes he made physics into something amazing to learn

 **ShiroGONE:** he wrote me a letter of rec for the astrophysics program

 **Matt-o-fact:** HE WAS AND IS THE GREATEST MAN I HAVE EVER KNOWN

 **Matt-o-fact:** myself included

 **Pidgeot:** everyone’s better then u matt

 **Matt-o-fact:** RUDE

 **Matt-o-fact:** but no seriously he had the greatest demos and blew up so much crap in class and is somehow still a professor

 **Lancelot(offun):** he’s gonna make this year so lit

 **Hunkahunka:** I have a feeling about this class

 **Lancelot(offun):** is this because of JUST Thace?

 **Lancelot(offun):** (¬‿¬)

 **Mulletboi:** wait what

 **Hunkahunka:** uh…

 **PrincessPink:** HUNK

 **PrincessPink:** DID U MEET SOMEONE???

 **Hunkahunka:** Uh…

 **Matt-o-fact:** BOI

 **Matt-o-fact:** SPILL

 **Hunkahunka:** Uh… so ya know how lecture halls are rows and stuff

 **Hunkahunka:** so Lance grabbed a row off to the side, one that was four seats

 **Lancelot(offun):** Keith didn’t want to get crowded

 **Lancelot(offun):** and it was either there or in the back like a dang anime protagonist

 **Mulletboi:** EXCUSE ME but I was ok with sitting in front but LANCE was all like “nah we can’t be the dorks that sit there and get stared down by the prof”

 **Mulletboi:** So I GRACIOUSLY agreed to sit off to the side

 **Mulletboi:** even tho I had to pull my glasses out to see still

 **Lancelot(offun):** hehe he looked like a kitten with his dumb hair and glasses

 **Mulletboi:** I AM NOT A KITTEN I AM A LION WAITING TO KILL

 **Lancelot(offun):** *whisper* kitten

 **Pidgeot:** UHG GET A ROOM

 **Lancelot(offun):** GET A LIFE

 **PrincessPink:** SHH HUNK I WANNA HEAR HUNK

 **Hunkahunka:** Ok well this girl sat next to me at the end of the row and Lance and Keith were rivaling about something

 **Matt-o-fact:** “rivaling”

 **Lancelot(offun):** shhh we made a thing

 **Hunkahunka:** so her name is Shay and she’s a eco engineer and she’s REALLY sweet

 **PrincessPink:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **Matt-o-fact:** Awwww *wipes away tear* my boy is growing up!

 **Lancelot(offun):** THAT’S MY LINE

 **Lancelot(offun):** he was my bestie first BACK OFF

 **ShiroGONE:** Hunk if u ever need advice ask Allura Matt and I are crap at this stuff

 **Matt-o-fact:** HEY

 **Matt-o-fact:** I mean tru

 **Matt-o-fact:** BUT STILL

 **Matt-o-fact:** I give fabulous dating advice u should know. I managed to catch a series of hot guys and gals in my past

 **Pidgeot:** the only people matt ever dated are allura and shiro

 **Pidgeot:** I should know I read his diary

 **Pidgeot:** He thought shiro’s hair was pretty

 **Pidgeot:** same with allura

 **Matt-o-fact:** ahgrahuergui

 **Matt-o-fact:** EXPOSED

 **PrincessPink:** aww…

 **PrincessPink:** that’s adorable matt!!!

 **ShiroGONE:** (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ

 **Pidgeot:** UHG GROSS FEELINGS

 **Pidgeot:** this whole chat is acephobic

 **_Pidgeot_ ** _has left the chat_

 **Lancelot(offun):** the evil has been defeated

 **_Mulletboi_ ** _added **Pidgeot** to the chat!_

 **Mulletboi:** Hey Cryptid Kids don’t separate

 **Mulletboi:** first rule of cryptid hunting

 **Pidgeot:** wait… where did cryptids appear in the chat???

 **Mulletboi:** cryptids… are EVERYWHERE

 **Hunkahunka:** ok so I’m at the store what are we doing for dinner??? 

* * *

 

 **_Matt-o-fact_ ** _added **ShiroGONE** and **PrincessPink** to the chat!_

 **_Matt-o-fact_ ** _renamed the chat **Best Hair**_

 **Matt-o-fact:** So the question remains… did u guys like my hair?

 **PrincessPink:** Mathew

 **PrincessPink:** it is 2 AM

 **ShiroGONE:** Please let us rest we know u and pidge never sleep ok?

 **Matt-o-fact:** Ok but answer the question

 **ShiroGONE:** Goodnight

 **PrincessPink:** Plead the fifth

 **Matt-o-fact:** RUDE

 **_Matt-o-fact_ ** _deleted the chat._

* * *

 

**Castle of Lions**

**Matt-o-fact:** WE SURVIVED

 **Pidgeot:** FRIDAY!!!

 **Lancelot(offun):** FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS

 **Lancelot(offun):** LET’S HIT THE TOWN GUYS

 **PrincessPink:** Oh! Oh! There’s that Thai place that just opened up on University we should go there!

 **Matt-o-fact:** HOUSE NIGHT OUT

 **ShiroGONE:** Oh my god yes I need some hot food and a stiff drink

 **Pidgeot:** Lemme guess – grading papers?

 **ShiroGONE:** It’s the first week and I know this is going to be a LOOONG semester…

 **Lancelot(offun):** ALERT ALERT THIS BOY NEEDS SOME FUN

 **Mulletboi:** I’m out

 **Lancelot(offun):** NOPE UR WITH US MULLET

 **Mulletboi:** I cagrbiagugiibu

 **ShiroGONE:** should I be concerned?

 **ShiroGONE:** Keith? Baby brother?

 **Hunkahunka:** so I just walked in and found Lance lunging at Keith and is now trying to drag him out the door

 **Hunkahunka:** Ok now keith has lance pinned

 **Hunkahunka:** I think they forgot I was here

 **_Hunkahunka_ ** _sent one photo_

 **PrincessPink:** ok I don’t know about you guys but those are some serious goo goo eyes I see there

 **Matt-o-fact:** Agreed

 **Hunkahunka:** whoops I was discovered

 **Hunkahunka:** damn they’re blushing

 **Hunkahunka:** ok so keith is coming with of his own free will now

 **Pidgeot:** WHIPPED

 **Mulletboi:** Im back and SERIOUSLY PIDGE

 **Mulletboi:** gtfo

 **Pidgeot:** FIGHT ME KOGANE

 **Lancelot(offun):** HUNK 

* * *

 

 **_Lancelot(offun)_ ** _to **Mulletboi**_

 **_Lancelot(offun)_ ** _sent one picture_

 **Mulletboi:** ok so u are super cute

 **Lancelot(offun):** no YOU Are super cute

 **Mulletboi:** I am not cute I am dangerous and deadly

 **Lancelot(offun):** oh sorry

 **Lancelot(offun):** CUTE AS A KITTEN

 **Mulletboi:** I WILL KILL U IN YOUR SLEEP

* * *

 

 **_PrincessPink_ ** _added **Matt-o-fact, ShiroGONE, Pidgeot,** and **Hunkahunka** to the chat!_

 **_PrincessPink_ ** _renamed the chat **Operation: Klance**_

 **PrincessPink:** So we’re all thinking the same thing right

 **Hunkahunka:** why are we texting each other while we’re sitting at the same table

 **Matt-o-fact:** we’re OBS trying to put Klance together

 **Matt-o-fact:** It’s in the name

 **Pidgeot:** why am I here???

 **Piddgeot:** resident ace

 **PrincessPink:** you and hunk are also our best techs

 **Matt-o-fact:** UH EXCUSE ME

 **ShiroGONE:** we need Pidge to do some spying

 **ShiroGONE:** Hunk u can get to Lance

 **Hunkahunka:** Oh good so I’m not the only one

 **Hunkahunka:** so how are we getting them together

 **Humkahunka:** because the only time Lance looks at his phone like that is if he’s texting someone he’s REALLY into

 **ShiroGONE:** I have never seen Keith text so intently

 **Pidgeot:** U want me to hack them

 **Pidgeot:** I mean I’m pretty sure they’re just texting each other

 **Pidgeot:** idiots

 **PrincessPink:** wait no now Keith looks like he wants to murder his phone

 **ShiroGONE:** he’s looking up at Lance

 **ShiroGONE:** oh crud who wants to break them up before we get banned

 **Pidgeot:** according to the chart it’s Matt’s turn

 **Matt-o-fact:** UHG I hate being the adult 

* * *

 

 **_CorantheMustacheMan_ ** _to **PrincessPink**_

 **CorantheMustacheMan:** Allura! How is my favorite goddaughter this week? Doing ok in those law classes?

 **PrincessPink:** Hello Uncle Coran! I’m doing well, trying my best in my classes. Also, Lance passes on his regards! The gang and I are walking back from dinner.

 **CorantheMustacheMan:** WONDERFUL! Send my love to everyone! And let Lance know that I’d love to see him around the office whenever he’s in the Kinesiology department!

 **PrincessPink:** Will do! (◕‿◕✿)

 **PrincessPink:** Oh we’re almost back to the house! Are we still on for Brunch Sunday?

 **CorantheMustacheMan:** Of course! I have a table reserved at Arus just for us :D

 **PrincessPink:** There is a reason you are my favorite uncle (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

 **PrincessPink:** Godfather. Whatever.

 **PrincessPink:** LOVE YOU HAVE A GOOD EVENING!!!

 **PrincessPink:** Hello Mustache Man this is Lance on Allura’s phone real quick cuz mine died

 **PrincessPink:** EMAIL ME YOUR OFFICE HOURS I’D LOVE TO HANG WITH MY FAV MUSTACHE MAN

 **CorantheMustacheMan:** Will do Lancy boy! \ (•◡•) /

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith is NOT cute. He is MANLY and FEIRCE
> 
> (snort)
> 
> Also SHAY AND CORAN AND THACE OH MY
> 
> Are we going to see more of them soon? Oh hell yes we will!


	3. Here Comes the Robot Armada

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The robot invasion (of the castle) has only begun and shiro's feet are already hating it. Also, our misfit band of physics fuckers have to deal with their homework but SHAY IS HERE TO HELP!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EHEHEHE i love these nerds.
> 
> Also fun fact: I'm basing a lot of these places on real places on my college campus. I gotta say that my campus is big old and has all these WEIRD places u find just by wandering around long enough.
> 
> On with the show!

**_ShiroGONE_ ** _added **PrincessPink** and **Matt-o-fact** to the chat!_

**_ShiroGONE_ ** _renamed the chat **The Golden Trio**_

**ShiroGONE:** So what’s the exit velocity of a human body thrown into space at 90 degrees from the planet?

**Matt-o-fact:** Wow I thought I was the one with the death memes

**ShiroGONE:** Sorry Matt but this week is seriously already killing me

**ShiroGONE:** Professor Slav? Drives me ABSOLUTELY INSANE

**PrincessPink:** Well it is Slav

**Matt-o-fact:** At least he’s not your thesis advisor. U just need to TA his class this semester for the dough

**ShiroGONE:** I know but still

**ShiroGONE:** for some reason he’s decided that I’m his favorite TA and every moment he gets to bug someone with his insane calculations he grabs ME

**Matt-o-fact:** Do I need to beat someone up?

**PrincessPink:** Get off the phone Keith.

**Matt-o-fact:** Haha

**ShiroGONE:** No you cannot beat up my professor u noodle

**PrincessPink:** Is there anything we CAN help on? I have lunch break in ten if u want company

**Matt-o-fact:** my minions would happily be let out of discussion early

**PrincessPink:** really. Minions?

**Matt-o-fact:** Hey if I ever became evil and decided to set the world ablaze these mofos would be perfect for the job

**ShiroGONE:** Matt don’t skimp on the TA things

**ShiroGONE:** U don’t need another incident report after the fire

**ShiroGONE:** but Allura I’d gladly take your offer

**Matt-o-fact:** Ok I am NOT getting let out

**Matt-o-fact:** I told the kids to get lost and now I’m alone again so I’m coming too

**PrincessPink:** The usual from Panera guys?

**Matt-o-fact:** Blessed be the princess pink

**ShiroGONE:** well matt if u ARE coming can u stop by the pharmacy on the way over and grab me some of that medicated gel? My arm is just sore today and I ran out. I’ll pay you back

**Matt-o-fact:** DONE and my treat I gotta be the bestest bestie of this trio

**PrincessPink:** Uh excuse me I’M getting lunch

**Matt-o-fact:** U are my fav bestie don’t worry

**ShiroGONE:** RUDE

**ShiroGONE:** OH SHIT IT’S SLAV

**Matt-o-fact:** Quick go hide in the space nook!

**ShiroGONE:** Space nook?

**PrincessPink:** Ok even I know what that is and I’ve had ONE class in the astronomy building

**Matt-o-fact:** next to the planetarium is a little room-like area that leads to the roof that no one understands WHY it exists but it’s like perfect for quiet study plus teachers are never there

**ShiroGONE:** I am gone

**ShiroGONE:** Going to find the room thing and hide there meet me there

**Matt-o-fact:** *salutes*

**PrincessPink:** See you soon boys! 

* * *

 

**Castle of Lions**

**_Castle of Lions_ ** _was renamed **Robot Invasion Begins**_

**_Pidgeot_ ** _sent 3 photos_

**Pidgeot:** He’s ALIVE

**Pidgeot:** He’s ALIVE

**Matt-o-fact:** HE’S ALIVE

**ShiroGONE:** Is that thing floating???

**Pidgeot:** Uh exCUSE me! Rover is not “a thing”

**Pidgeot:** He’s an advance robotic artificial intelligence in the making!

**Matt-o-fact:** Who’s a good boy? YOU’RE A GOOD BOY!

**_Matt-o-fact_ ** _sent 3 photos_

**Lancelot(offun):** AWWW LOOK AT THE BABY

**Mulletboi:** It’s a floating pyramid

**Mulletboi:** Wait a minute… *adjusts conspiracy glasses*

**Mulletboi:** are you…?

**Pidgeot:** shhh

**Matt-o-fact:** So this is the beginning of the army we FINALLY got the fans to be strong enough to get Rover off the ground a little and he’s programed with some simple AI

**Matt-o-fact:** Pidge cried when he said “I love you”

**Pidgeot:** ASHEbbiu STFU

**Pidgeot:** I have no feelings

**Pidgeot:** YOU were crying

**Matt-o-fact:** Yes I was

**Matt-o-fact:** I am a real man I am in touch with my feelings

**Lancelot(offun):** ^^^

**Hunkahunka:** dude I cried last week when I saw a fawn it was too cute

**Mulletboi: -.-**

**Mulletboi:** Feelings… uhg

**PrincessPink:** *drinks to the tears of my enemies*

**Lancelot(offun):** wait when did we become enemies YOU ARE MY QUEEN

**PrincessPink:** *drinks to the tears of my minions*

**ShiroGONE:** I am concerned I just checked the chat after putting my phone down for five minutes

**ShiroGONE:** ANYWHO so does that mean I won’t keep tripping over lose parts in the living room?

**Pidgeot:** No way in hell this is more ENCOURAGING

**Matt-o-fact:** we’re going to have to expand operations

**Matt-o-fact:** we are going to build ALL the robots

**Matt-o-fact:** hunk can we recruit you NOW???

**Hunkahunka:** are you still trying to make a robot to replace me in the kitchen

**Pidgeot:** We were never gonna replace u

**Matt-o-fact:** yeah no it was just because we’re pathetic with food making

**Matt-o-fact:** but if you join us we wil concede the project

**Matt-o-fact:** for now

**Pidgeot:** for now

**Pidgeot:** We’ll even do the guard dog that barks every time Shiro walks into the kitchen

**Mulletboi:** Better them than the fire alarm

**ShiroGONE:** RUDE

**ShiroGONE:** I AM NEVER COOKING FOR YOU AGAIN

**Mulletboi:** thank mothman

**Lancelot(offun):** BLESSED

**PrincessPink:** Oh hell yes

**ShiroGONE:** you all are terrible

**ShiroGONE:** including your robots

**Matt-o-fact:** GASP

**Pidgeot:** GASP

**Matt-o-fact:** he’s the first to go when our robot overloards take over

**Hunkahunka:** RIP in pieces Shiro

**PrincessPink:** Rest in peace in pieces?

**Mulletboi:** Gotta make sure he doesn’t come back as the walking dead

**ShiroGONE:** I’m a grad student I’m already the walking dead

**Lancelot(offun):** mood

**Matt-o-fact:** mood

**Mulletboi:** mood

**PrincessPink:** there are reasons I am concerned about you children 

* * *

 

**_Hunkahunka_ ** _added **Lancelot(offun), Mulletboi,** and **Pidgeot** to chat!_

**_Hunkahunka_ ** _renamed the chat **Physics Friends!**_

**_Pidgeot_ ** _renamed the chat **Physics Fuckers**_

**Pidgeot:** Uhg I wish I took your class

**Pidgeot:** Damnit computer programing clashing

**Mulletboi:** I mean u have Thrace too so we can at least study

**Pidgeot:** yeah but I don’t know anyone in the class

**Pidgeot:** Lab is going to be awkward as hell

**Hunkahunka:** make other friends…?

**Pidgeot:** GASP

**Pidgeot:** IN FRONT OF MY SALAD???

**Pidgeot:** how could u SAY that to me, the resident introverted shut in

**Pidgeot:** honestly I don’t even know how I’m friends with u people

**Lancelot(offun):** AWW WE’RE FWENDS???

**Pidgeot:** fuck off lance

**Lancelot(offun):** GROUP HUG

**Pidgeot:** I will taze u

**Lancelot(offun):** GROUP HUG WITHOUT PIDGE

**Hunkahunka:** anyway I was going to invite Shay into the group so we can study together???

**Lancelot(offun):** OH SO THIS IS THE ALTERIOR MOTIVE

**Mulletboi:** I was going to say why are we texting when I’m literally in the kitchen and I know everyone else is in the house, too

**Mulletboi:** except Lance who’s… somewhere

**Lancelot(offun):** oh I’m at the store

**Lancelot(offun):** I’m in the ice cream isle…

**Mulletboi:** …

**Mulletboi:** Lance if you get me my ice cream I will love you forever

**Hunkahunka:** what happened to the tub Shiro bought u???

**Pidgeot:** he ate it in one go the other night while we were binging ancient aliens

**Lancelot(offun):** OMG WASN’T THAT LIKE THREE GALONS???

**Mulletboi:** Hell yes

**Mulletboi:** get me the same one

**Lancelot(offun):** boi u need help *gets tub anyway*

**Hunkahunka:** this is what we call a “bad influence”

**Hunkahunka:** anyway I’m going to ask Shay tomorrow if she wants to study with us

**Lancelot(offun):** so u can get her number

**Lancelot(offun):** I am so proud

**Pidgeot:** hey while you’re there get me some gummy bears and chocolate

**Lancelot(offun):** what am I your butler?

**Pidgeot:** no I’m trying to build my robot to do it but haven’t gotten that far yet

**Pidgeot:** so you’ll have to do

**Lancelot(offun):** RUDE

**Lancelot(offun):** actually CAN someone sit with me and do the physics HW later? I’m confused on question 4

**Lancelot(offun):** like someone who I’m getting ice cream for???

**Mulletboi:** Yeah I can help if u get my ice cream

**Lancelot(offun):** DONE 

* * *

 

**_Mulletboi_ ** _to **Lancelot(offun)**_

**Mulletboi:** didn’t you finish the packet already?

**Lancelot(offun):** yeah so that means I have time to cuddle and watch Lethal Weapon with my fav swordsman and tell everyone not to bug us because studying

**Lancelot(offun):** cuddles in peace while watching explosions

**Mulletboi:** …you are a genius

**Mulletboi:** sometimes

**Lancelot(offun):** RUDE

**Mulletboi:** I’m going to my room meet me there

**Lancelot(offun):** ONW!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realized I didn't know if I made it clear before but Shalluratt isn't a thing as of yet. I'll dive deeper into this in later chapters as we build the relationship back up from three people engaging in "couples" to one collective romantic trio.
> 
> As of now, they're just the bestest bestie nerds the world has ever known, a real Golden Trio that is secretly still pining for one another but doesn't know how to deal with FeelngsTM.
> 
> As for Hunk he just doesn't want to overwhelm Shay with the weird yet. He likes her and doesn't want to scare her away. At this point, she's met Lance and Keith while Pidge CAN be "normal" for a bribe (cookies, especially peanut butter). He's keeping the extra weird (cough*the grad trio* cough*) away until he's sure she won't run off screaming.
> 
> Until next time y'all!


	4. Nothing’s More Romantic then Fires and Destroying Physics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The vast majority of the team considers dropping out of college because MOOD but also FLASHBACK TO THE DAYS OF SHATT and how Allura became their friend in a mess of fiery explosions.
> 
> Meanwhile, Physics is about to get it's ass kicked because Shay is here and she is GOALSTM.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it weird that I wrote this over a week ago and it's still getting posted on a hump day???
> 
> Anyway ON WITH THE SHOW!

**Robot Invasion Begins**

**_Lancelot(offun)_ ** _renamed the chat to **Can I Quit College to become a Hermit?**_

**Mulletboi:** mood

**Pidgeot:** mood

**Hunkahunka:** ^^^

**Lancelot(offun):** kill me now

**ShiroGONE:** It’s Wednesday

**Matt-o-fact:** HUMP DAY YALL

**Matt-o-fact:** But mood

**PrincessPink:** Why did I agree to teach this stupid 7 am civics class…

**PrincessPink:** I have mock litigations today

**PrincessPink:** WHY

**ShiroGONE:** am I the only one ok today?

**ShiroGONE:** the PTSD grad student is ok for once???

**Matt-o-fact:** I’m only half-dead TBH but if ur willing to rescue me with ur muscles from these minions I won’t complain

**Matt-o-fact:** This kid is an idiot

**Matt-o-fact:** And this other TA keeps staring at me

**Matt-o-fact:** I feel like I’m being watched by some dangerous predator

**Matt-o-fact:** Save me with your muscles

**Matt-o-fact:** or give me the arm so I have a weapon

**ShiroGONE:** MY ARM IS NOT A WEAPON

**ShiroGONE:** and I’m sure she’s making sure you don’t burn down the building again

**Matt-o-fact:** Pot, kettle

**PrincessPink:** I’m remembering why they made such a good couple

**PrincessPink:** got along like microwave popcorn to a Bunsen burner

**Matt-o-fact:** ah… good times

**Lancelot(offun):** Wait I don’t know this story WHAT HAPPENED???

**Hunkahunka:** I’m already concerned

**Hunkahunka:** not for you two but the popcorn and burner

**Matt-o-fact:** RUDE

**Pidgeot:** I only know this story from a secondhand perspective

**Mulletboi:** I remember a call from the school…

**Mulletboi:** That wasn’t about me for once

**PrincssPink:** HO BOY SIT DOWN BOYS AND GIRLS

**PrincessPink:** It’s Sophomore year of high school and I had JUST transferred to the district

**PrincessPink:** So I was in class working with some girl with purple hair. At that point, I hadn’t really known anyone still

**ShiroGONE:** even though she got voted class president two months later

**Matt-o-fact:** Queen

**PrincessPink:** Yes so at this point I’m in chem and these two boys a row in front of me were done with their work and the skinny ginger was complaining that he was starved

**PrincessPink:** so he digs around in his bag and for some reason has a cheap bag of that microwave popcorn

**Pidgeot:** of course it was Matt’s idea

**Matt-o-fact:** Actually… MY plan was to sneak into the teacher’s lounge to make it

**Mulletboi:** NO

**ShiroGONE:** in theory it would have worked

**ShiroGONE:** this was also the era of Shatt when I still had some control over a holt

**Lancelot(offun):** you mean whipped a holt?

**Matt-o-fact:** MY OWN SON

**Pidgeot:** NO MORE TALKING SPACE MOM GO

**PrincessPink:** So I ask the girl who they are out of concern because if they’re idiots more than I thought I was going to rat them out straight away

**PrincessPink:** So the girl tells me they’re the two smartest guys in the class and dating and blah blah blah so I sit back and decide to watch because I’m bored

**Hunkahunka:** Allura we TRUSTED u to be the responsible one!

**Lancelot(offun):** I’m wishing I thought of this

**PrincessPink:** So they slowly start heating up when the teacher isn’t looking and hiding it when the teacher is around, except his guy was a flake and watching youtube or something most of the time with headphones and everything

**PrincessPink:** Sure enough they have it ALMOST full when Shiro puts it too close to the burner. Slowly, ever so slowly a hole forms and then BOOM

**PrincessPink:** popcorn EVERYWHERE. Kernals fall into the flames, explode and fly about. The bag is on fire. They drop it on the tabletop as the alarms flare. The teacher falls out of his desks and everyone is screaming and it was GLORIOUS

**Matt-o-fact:** I still don’t know how we didn’t get suspended for that

**ShiroGONE:** I’m PRETTY SURE I made up something about low blood sugar and they bought it

**Matt-o-fact:** Anyway in the end we had detention and Allura introduced herself to us the next day because she wanted to try round 2

**Hunkahunka:** ALLURA!!!

**Lancelot(offun):** Queen

**Mulletboi:** wow Shiro’s terrible cooking skills created something DECENT

**Pidgeot:** The important question is did it work?

**PrincessPink:** the next Bunsen lab we made an odd team of three because the teach didn’t trust them alone. Between Matt watching the teacher, Shiro monitoring the fire, and me keeping the popcorn a safe distance away we had fresh popcorn by the last 20 minutes of class

**Hunkahunka:** for the safety of everyone I am, for once, glad Shatt divorced

**PrincessPink:** I mean when Matt and I dated we did some pretty stupid food “experiments” too

**ShiroGONE:** college was a series of take-out menus and fires

**Hunkahunka:** none of you are allowed in my kitchen ever again

**Matt-o-fact:** Eh that’s ok I got Bunsen burners for miles

**Pidgeot:** Mathew

**Matt-o-fact:** Katie

**Pidgeot:** invite me next time

**Hunkahunka:** stop encouraging them

**Lancelot(offun):** ENCOURAGEMENT

**Hunkahunka:** no

**Lancelot(offun):** Uh HELLO my name is litteralyy “fun” WE ARE DOING THIS NEXT HOUSE NIGHT

**Mulletboi:** ok but we’re getting the good popcorn then

**Hunkahunka:** am I the only adult here?

**ShiroGONE:** u can invite that physics girl

**Pidgeot:** Shay?

**Lancelot(offun):** SHAY

**Hunkahunka:** ◉_◉

**Lancelot(offun):** (._.) ( l: ) ( .-. ) ( :l ) (._.) SHAY

**Lancelot(offun):** she so cool guys

**Mulletboi:** guys I’m gay AF and I already love her

**Mulletboi:** she has a thing for rock climbing and hiking and totally thinks she found bigfoot in Colorado a few years ago

**Pidgeot:** I HEARD CRYPTIDS

**Pidgeot:** and I’m not opposed as long as I have a buffer

**Lancelot(offun):** she’s all about the natural life and has this family secret recipe for mud masks to get her perfect skin

**Lancelot(offun):** I’m inviting her over at some point so she, Allura, and I can share tips and tricks

**Hunkahunka:** she is one of the most beautiful and brilliant women I have ever met I can believe how blessed I am to have her in my life

**Lancelot(offun):** He’s so whipped but I wont comment further because they would make the CUTEST couple

**PrincessPink:** Hunay has SUCH a nice name to it

**Pidgeot:** is that their bradgellina name?

**Matt-o-fact:** U BET IT IS

**ShiroGONE:** you know what else is adorable?

**Hunkahunka:** kittens?

**Matt-o-fact:** my face obs

**Lancelot(offun):** baby animals

**Mulletboi:** Mothman

**Lancelot(offun):** really???

**Mulletboi:** baby moth children

**Lancelot(offun):** …Oh my gosh adorable little fluffy babies

**Pidgeot:** rover, duh

**PrincessPink:** a couple name starting in K and ending with E?

**ShiroGONE:** Allura u are the only one on the ball today

**Matt-o-fact:** …I need more sleep before plotting

**Mulletboi:** is this some pop cult reference I’m missing?

**Lancelot(offun):** no because I have no idea what they’re talking about either

**Pidgeot:** idiots

**Lancelot(offun):** this is homophobic I can tell

**PrincesPink:** literally none of us are straight

**Lancelot:** this is biphobic then

**Matt-o-fact:** **ರ** **_** **ರ**

**Matt-o-fact:** HELLO ADJUST YOUR BIFOCALS SONNY

**Pidgeot:** but my statement still stands Rover is the cutest 

* * *

 

**_Lancelot(offun)_ ** _to **CornatheMustacheMan**_

**Lancelot(offun):** Yo Coran I know u don’t have office hours for an hour but u around?

**CorantheMustacheMan:** Well I’m working on an exam but you are welcome to come up to my office!

**Lancelot(offun):** great! I’ve got some time to kill and I want to hear the end of that story u were telling me

**Lancelot(offun):** the one about the Egyptian market place

**CorantheMustacheMan:** OH HO that was a great one! Will 2, 4, and/or 5 be joining us today?

**Lancelot(offun):** nah Hunk is being “responsible” and studying and I think Pidge went home to work on a robot

**Lancelot(offun):** I just asked Keith and he says he’s good

**CorantheMustacheMan:** ah ok! Give number 4 a hello from me! You’ll have to give me an update about what's up with you two when you get here! I haven't seen 4 since summer! :D

**Lancelot(offun):** WILL DO Oh do u also want one of those weird drinks u like? Im at that one coffee shop that makes it

**CorantheMustacheMan:** Yes I would! Thank you Number 3!

* * *

 

**Physics Fuckers**

**_Hunkahunka_ ** _renamed the chat **Physics Friends!**_

**_Hunkahunka_ ** _added **FeShay** to the chat!_

**Hunkahunka:** Shay welcome to the chat!

**Hunkahunka:** guys be nice

**FeShay:** Hello all! I’m Shay Balmera in Physics 301-1 with Professor Thace!

**Lancelot(offun):** Hey girl! This is Lance. I sit in the same row as Hunk.

**Lancelot(offun):** and I’m ALWAYS nice

**FeShay:** Hello Lance! I remember you from class :D

**Mulletboi:** Hey I’m Keith. Sorry we don’t talk that much but Hunk and Lance always throw me into the wall.

**Lancelot(offun):** Uh excuse u FOUGHT me for the wall seat for the outlet

**Mulletboi:** Unlike SOMEONE my phone was dead because my charger fritzed not because I was playing Plants vs Zombies on the bus to class

**Lancelot(offun):** THE ZOMBIES HAD TO DIE

**Pidgeot:** Hey I’m Katie Holt but everyone not my parents call me Pidge. I’m in Thace’s afternoon class, 301-2, because stupid computer science had to clash

**FeShay:** I’m so glad to meet you all! I hope we can all get along

**Lancelot(offun):** and kick physics in the ass

**_Pidgeot_ ** _renamed the chat to **Kicking Physics in the Ass**_

**Hunkahunka:** PIDGE

**_FeShay_ ** _renamed the chat to **Kicking FUCKING Physics in the Ass**_

**Pidgeot:** u are my new role model

**Mulletboi:** Just don’t let shiro see

**Pidgeot:** considering how much Mr. Captain America swears…

**FeShay:** Oh are they other students in the class?

**Hunkahunka:** oh no Shiro is Keith’s older brother

**Mulletboi:** He’s a grad student here and he’s group dad

**Mulletboi:** if we study at the castle at some point you’ll meet him and Matt and Allura

**Hunkahunka:** Matt is Pidge’s older brother also here in grad school while Allura is a grad student but not related to any of us

**Lancelot(offun):** She is my sister from another mister excuse u

**FeShay:** wow sounds like u guys have a crazy house

**FeShay:** Castle?

**Pidgeot:** it’s a stupid name thing that Lance started don’t worry about it

**Lancelot(offun):** CASTLE OF LIONS

**Lancelot(offun):** I should make a sign for the house

**Lancelot(offun):** maybe with tons of glitter

**Pidgeot:** no

**Lancelot(offun):** and robot arms

**Pidgeot:** …maybe

**Hunkahunka:** ANYWAY we have that online homework thing due in a couple of days do you guys want to meet somewhere to study?

**Hunkahunka:** maybe the library?

**Pidgeot:** which one?

**Hunkahunka:** Engineering. We won’t find anywhere to sit at College.

**Lancelot(offun):** UHG… it’s so FAR…

**FeShay:** Are you guys close to Geo Sci hall? There’s a small library there and it’s always quiet. Plus, the uni coffee shop is on the main floor

**Pidgeot:** Coffee is the magic word

**Mulletboi:** wait there’s a library in Geo Sci?

**FeShay:** Oh yeah it’s so old it’s really cool and slightly haunted

**Hunkahunka:** h… haunted???

**Mulletboi:** Pidge

**Pidgeot:** Bring the gear?

**Mulletboi:** Bring the gear

**FeShay:** …?

**Lancelot(offun):** Pidge and Keith are cryptid whores

**Lancelot(offun):** if they show up with a vacuum cleaner don’t be too concerned

**FeShay:** Just a heads up if u guys get banned I’m going to pretend not to know u guys

**Hunkahunka:** Can I pretend with u?

**Lancelot(offun):** ROOD

**FeShay:** deal

**Mulletboi:** so we have a spot I’m available Sunday after 3pm

**FeShay:** that works for me

**Hunkahunka:** so we meet at the front door so Shay can show us the secret Library?

**FeShay:** Secret library yes

**Pidgeot:** two questions: one – idk why but I have to ask Shay what’s the “fe” for? And two – hunk can u make snacks like usual?

**Hunkahunka:** I will bring the goods if u nerds promise to be good

**Mulletboi:** YESSSSSS Hunk cookies are THE BEST

**Lancelot(offun):** I have eaten them all my life and it’s always an out of body experience when I eat them

**FeShay:** Ok now I MUST try

**FeShay:** if they’re as sweet as hunk I’m sure they’ll be amazing

**Hunkahunka:** I will

**Hunkahunka:** I will make the cookies

**Hunkahunka** : yes

**Hunkahunka** : cookies

**FeShay** : and the fe is partially because it rhymes but also because I ran the iron man when I was 18 so I am the “Iron” or “fe” shay :D

**Lancelot(offun)** : That is simultaneously super dorky and super amazing

**Pidgeot** : your name is literally a pun

**Pidgeot** : a bad joke, like your life

**Lancelot(offun)** : ROOD 

* * *

 

**_Lancelot(offun)_ ** _to **Hunkahunka**_

**Lancelot(offun):** hey why don’t we just study at the castle?

**Lancelot(offun):** I mean we all live there

**Hunkahunka:** I didn’t want to be awkward and overwhelm her on the first go

**Hunkahinka:** I mean maybe I’m overthinking it but what if something happens? What if the mice got lose? Or Matt stole Shiro’s arm? Or we ran out of cookies?

**Lancelot(offun):** ok ok I get it

**Lancelot(offun):** u don’t want to scare her away right away that’s fair

**Lancelot(offun):** but knowing Pidge and Keith we MIGHT get banned so the castle is always an option.

**Lancelot(offun):** and believe me the whole castle would do EVERYTHING to make a good impression

**Hunkahunka:** maybe once she gets to know us better

**Hunkahunka:** again, don’t want to be weird

**Lancelot(offun):** also on the off chance she’s a serial killer I don’t want her to know where we live

**Hunkahunka:** LANCE

**Lancelot(offun):** KIDDING

**Hunkahunka:** no cookies for u

* * *

**Can I Quit College to become a Hermit?**

**Matt-o-fact:** why is lance screaming dramatically in the hallway?

**Matt-o-fact:** today?

**Hunkahunka:** it’s lance

**Hunkahunka:** He’s got a daily quota of dramatic antics

**Pidgeot:** Tell him to shut up I’m trying to code

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I missed Coran and wanted him and Lance to hang. Coran keeps trying to get Lance to try his weird vegetable drink but Lance is #married to his sugary coffee drink.
> 
> Lance has a quota guys Hunk is just helping out by depriving him of cookies (he won't he's too good of a friend).
> 
> Also in Lance's defense THE ZOMBIES!!! MUST!!! DIE!!!
> 
> See you in the next chapter Physics F*ckers!!!!


	5. Ok but if I were a Space Knight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance has thoughts. LOTS of thoughts. Also these Physics F*ckers are finally getting together in the haunted library... kind of. Sort of. It's all Keith and Pidge's fault.
> 
> Also... is that plotting???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For some reason I almost didn't post but this was done so... HERE WE GO!!!

**Can I Quit College to become a Hermit?**

**Lancelot(offun):** random thought

**Lancelot(offun):** so we all agree aliens are out there.

**Mulletboi:** yes…?

**Pidgeot:** it’s statistically improbably otherwise

**Lancelot(offun):** and that we’re probs one universe of multiple universes?

**Lancelot(offun):** universi?

**Lancelot(offun):** nope universes

**ShiroGONE:** Lance as much as I love space talk I have to pay attention to this lecture

**Matt-o-fact:** You’re in Slav’s class

**Matt-o-fun:** you’re dying and need stimulation anyway

**PrincessPink:** So lance what are you thinking about?

**Lancelot(offun):** so I was spacing out and just imagining what if there was a universe where like what if we were space explorers?

**Hunkahunka:** how much Star Trek have u been binging

**Lancelot(offun):** no but like BETTER like what if we were launched into space as the first humans who went beyond the solar system

**Lancelot(offun):** but we did so in an alien vessel because Earth isn’t there yet

**Lancelot(offun):** and it’s launched us to a far off planet with aliens who built the ship and stuff and need our help to save the galaxy!

**Matt-o-fact:** so it’s kind of like space DnD?

**Matt-o-fact:** if so I want to be the hot rogue

**Pidgeot:** you’d probably be kidnapped by the evil aliens before we got out of the solar system

**Pidgeot:** you seriously have no skill

**Matt-o-fact:** I have ALL the skills

**PrincessPink:** Matt gets kidnapped then escapes and becomes part of a resistance alliance

**Matt-o-fact:** oh HECK YES that makes me sound so BADDASS

**Matt-o-fact:** I bet I saved Shiro and Allura in the process

**PrincessPink:** please

**PrincessPink:** I’m a warrior princess of an alien race in this world then

**ShiroGONE:** I’d be saving u Matt like I did from Adam in 3 rd grade

**Matt-o-fact:** I could have taken him!!!

**Hunkahunka:** ANYWAY

**Hunkahunka:** so Allura is a princes and matt is an escapee rougue from the evil aliens

**Hunkahunka:** why evil aliens?

**Lancelot(offun):** I mean I wasn’t thinking of that before BUT NOW THAT WOULD BE AWESOME

**Lancelot(offun):** so like obviously the rest of us are knights of the universe and stuff

**Lancelot(offun):** like the ancient ship would be able to form with other sips to make a MASSIVE FIGHTING ROBOT

**Pidgeot:** I HEARD GIANT ROBOT I’M IN

**Lancelot(offun):** YES PIDGE IS IN

**Pidgeot:** I’m going to have all the robots and make a taser weapon

**Pidgeot:** because tasers are awesome

**ShiroGONE:** dear lords above help us all

**Hunkahunka:** Space would be nice but IDK man

**Hunkahunka:** it’d be dangerous

**Lancelot(offun):** buddy, pal

**Lancelot(offun):** IMAGINE SPACE

**Lancelot(offun):** plus I’ll be there to back u up you’d make an AWESOME paladin

**Mulletboi:** I though u were knights

**Lancelot(offun):** LURKER!

**Mulletboi:** I’M IN CLASS AND ACTUALLY TRYING TO PAY ATTENTION!!!

**Lancelot(offun):** paladins sounds cooler

**PrincessPink:** Lance how long have u been thinking about this???

**Lancelot(offun):** … *looks at clock*

**Lancelot(offun):** too long

**Lancelot(offun):** ok but admit it would be awesome

**Mulletboi:** I want a sword

**Lancelot(offun):** u can have all the swords

**Mulletboi:** I’m in

**ShiroGONE:** of course u are

**Matt-o-fact:** OH M G SHIRO’S ARM IS A WEAPON

**ShiroGONE:** Matt MY ARM IS NOT A WEAPON

**Pidgeot:** OMG we upgrade it in space to shoot lasers

**Matt-o-fact:** cut through steel

**Pidgeot:** LIGHT UP

**Matt-o-fact:** YES

**ShiroGONE:** Can I be kidnapped by the evil aliens?

**PrincessPink:** sure

**PrincessPink:** Keith go rescue your brother

**Mulletboi:** what do I get out of it???

**ShiroGONE:** wait if I get kidnapped by aliens u’d just LEAVE ME unless u got something out of it???

**Mulletboi:** I want another sword

**Mulletboi:** that starts as a knife but becomes a baddass sword

**PrincessPink:** *hands him a sword* go get our leader

**Pidgeot:** why does Shiro be the leader?

**PrincessPink:** because let’s be honest group project shiro is the one we want running things

**Matt-o-fact:** Plus if u don’t save him I will

**ShiroGONE:** oh gods I’m just going to save myself thanks

**Hunkahunka:** so shiro is our leader and we’re all in robots

**Hunkahunka:** why does this feel like an anime or something???

**Matt-o-fact:** I have seen many anime and I can tell u I would watch THE SHIT out of this

**Lancelot(offun):** so if shiro is the head or core or whatever then the mech would probs be were Keith and Pidge make up the arms because he’s known them the longest and they’re his right and left hand and such

**Lancelot(offun):** disregarding allura because she’s busy being a space princess and matt’s a rogue we haven’t found yet

**PrincessPink:** you know that I’d kick ASS in a mech

**Matt-o-fact:** ^^^

**Lancelot(offun):** and hunk and I are the legs because we SUPPORT YOU ALL

**Hunkahunka:** and kick butt?

**Lancelot(offun):** YES

**PrincessPink:** literally or figuratively?

**Lancelot(offun):** yes

**ShiroGONE:** *groan*

**PrincessPink:** *groan*

**Pidgeot:** *groan*

**Matt-o-fact:** SON 

* * *

 

**Kicking FUCKING Physics in the Ass**

**FeShay:** ok where are u guys?

**Lancelot(offun):** Keith and I are going to be a little late

**Mulletboi:** my computer is freaking out

**Lancelot(offun):** ლ(ಠ益ಠლ)

**HunkaHunka:** I’m almost there I have cookies

**FeShay:** (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

**FeShay:** Pidge? Where art thou?

**Mulletboi:** hang on let me see if she’s still here

**Lancelot(offun):** OH THANKS JUST DITCH ME WITH /YOUR/ LAPTOP

**FeShay:** oh there’s Hunk! HI HUNK!

**Hunkahunka:** oh I see you! :D

**_Mulletboi_ ** _sent one picture_

**Mulletboi:** I found her cuddling Rover in the workshop and moved her to bed

**Mulletboi:** I couldn’t get the robot out of her arms

**Mulletboi:** SLIGHTLY concerned

**Hunkahunka:** oh crud it looks like she’s beat

**FeShay:** how about u let her sleep and just see if she wants to come later when u figure out what’s going on with your laptop?

**Lancelot(offun):** yeah give us an hour I just found the back-up and am going to try that

**Mulletboi:** Hunk any tips?

**Hunkahunka:** get matt???

**Lancelot(offun):** RUDE

**Lancelot(offun):** this isn’t THAT hard

**Hunkahunka:** ok but if it doesn’t work try Matt

**FeShay:** have u downloaded anything? U may have to clean the cache and try a restart

**Lancelot(offun):** will try! Thanks! 

* * *

 

**_Hunkahunka_ ** _to **Lancelot(offun)**_

**Hunkahunka:** HELP

**Lancelot(offun):** what? What happened? Are you ok?

**Hunkahunka:** I’m fine but I don’t know what to do

**Hunkahunka:** I don’t know what to say to her

**Lancelot(offun):** oh my

**Lancelot(offun):** Hunk, breathe

**Lancelot(offun):** she’s just another normal person in this large world

**Lancelot(offun):** and she’s gonna like u for just being her friend

**Lancelot(offun):** u can do it

**Hunkahunka:** ok

**Hunkahunka:** I can do this

**Lancelot(offun):** YOU CAN DO IT BOI WE ALL ARE HERE FOR YOU

**Lancelot(offun):** Mullet has faith in you!

**Lancelot(offun):** pidge is there in spirit

**Hunkahunka:** thanks (◕‿◕✿)

* * *

 

**Kicking FUCKING Physics in the Ass**

**Lancelot(offun):** WE FIXED IT

**Mulletboi:** sorry it took so long we had to reboot the whole thing

**Pidgeot:** I need coffee and cookies

**Hunkahunka:** Peanut butter cookies are still here

**Pidgeot:** MY HERO

**FeShay:** come join us guys! Hunk and I got through a couple of the toughies and it’s going great!

**Lancelot(offun):** glad to hear! We’re grabbing our stuff and taking the car. Be there ASAP

**Mulletboi:** sorry again that it took so long. We need to fix the router

**Mulletboi:** again

**Pidgeot:** I’ll take a look at it after caffeine

**FeShay:** just don’t sacrifice your sleep girl

**Pidgeot:** sleep is for the weak

**FeShay:** SLEEP

**Pidgeot:** but ROBOTS

**FeShay:** I’m not your mom but MAKE SURE TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF

**Pidgeot:** SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK

**Mulletboi:** Lance is driving be there soon 

* * *

 

**_ShiroGONE_ ** _to **Mulletboi**_

**ShiroGONE:** hey where are you guys??? I saw the car was gone.

**Mulletboi:** we’re at the library doing physics

**ShiroGONE:** “we” being…

**Mulletboi:** me, lance, pidge, hunk, and shay

**Mulletboi:** Hunk just told me to tell u that ur not allowed in the kitchen

**_ShiroGONE_ ** _sent one photo._

**Mulletboi:** he’s going to kill u

* * *

 

**_Hunkahunka_ ** _to **PrincessPink**_

**Hunkahunka:** Allura please tell me you are home

**PrincessPink:** I’m going to be there soon y

**Hunkahunka:** Shiro is in the kitchen and I am scared

**Hunkahunka:** if he’s hungry he’s going to burn down the kitchen

**Hunkahunka:** Pidge just tracked Matt and they’re both there

**PrincessPink:** oh shit

**PrincessPink:** I’m on it

**PrincessPink:** we have frozen pizzas, right?

**PrincessPink:** I can handle that don’t worry

**Hunkahunka:** thank u Allura ur the only one I can sort of trust

**PrincessPink:** “sort of”?

**Hunkahunka:** I have become concerned over your skills after hearing about the popcorn thing

**PrincessPink:** Yes and I was also the one that prevented a second fire

**Hunkahunka:** point

**PrincessPink:** oh gods I just walked in and the frozen pizzas are on the counter I gotta go

**Hunkahunka:** dear gods above keep my kitchen safe 

* * *

 

**Operation: Klance**

**PrincessPink:** So we kind of let this fall to the side

**Hunkahunka:** uh… school is more important…?

**Pidgeot:** robots are more important…?

**Matt-o-fact:** shit we need to plot

**ShiroGONE:** what brought this on???

**_PrincessPink_ ** _sent one photo_

**PrincessPink:** THEY FELL ASLEEP LIKE THIS IN THE LIVING ROOM

**PrincessPink:** SO CUTE

**ShiroGONE:** ok so keith is adorable

**Matt-o-fact:** That is some serious snuggle

**Matt-o-fact:** they’re gonna be screaming when they wake and realize

**Pidgeot:** I can record that

**Hunkahunka:** can we NOT have more drama today?

**Matt-o-fact:** no

**Matt-o-fact:** u can never have enough drama

**ShiroGONE:** says the guy voted most dramatic in HS

**Pidgeot:** no

**Pidgeot:** no more damn drama today I am tired

**Matt-o-fact:** PIDGE??? TIRED????

**Hunkahunka:** she fell asleep earlier she may be sick guys

**Pidgeot:** if you jinx me I’ll kill u

**PrincessPink:** GUYS

**PrincesPink:** MISSION???

**Matt-o-fact:** ok I got the best idea

**Matt-o-fact:** so we should lock them in a closet

**ShiroGONE:** *slow clap* brilliant

**Matt-o-fact:** shut your face old man

**ShiroGONE:** we’re the same age

**Matt-o-fact:** but the white hair

**ShiroGONE:** literally had this??? Forever??? Vitiligo??? Remember???

**Matt-o-fact:** old man

**Matt-o-fact:** no but like we upgrade the old meme

**PrincessPink:** ok I’m interested

**Hunkahunka:** we can’t lock Lance in anywhere

**Hunkahunka:** he learned how to pick locks in the seventh grade to impress the girls

**Pidgeot:** how is this something I have never heard and used???

**Pidgeot:** he needs to show me and teach me so I can break into everywhere

**Pidgeot:** more than I already do

**ShiroGONE:** don’t get arrested I don’t want to have to bail ANOTHER Holt out of jail

**PrincessPink:** same

**Hunkahunka:** MATT HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BEEN ARRESTED???

**Matt-o-fact:** I did it for the vine I regret nothing

**Matt-o-fact:** actually I only got detained once at the airport because I had some residue chemicals on my clothes and they thought I was a terrorist but it was leftover from class

**Matt-o-fact:** Shiro came to help me out but then HE got detained for reasons I don’t remember

**ShiroGONE:** They thought my arm was a bomb and I didn’t have medical papers to prove otherwise

**ShiroGONE:** it was also, like, the last shift all of them had it out for us

**PrincessPink:** then I get a call from Shiro AND Matt and they’re like “the police have us please save us use your lawyer skillz”

**PrincessPink:** so I tell them to sit down and shut up and stop saying anything until your lawyer gets there even tho they had none

**Matt-o-fact:** Allura shows up an hour later with all of Shiro’s medical papers and my class and enrollment papers and Coran and then they FINALLY let us go but I missed my plane anyway and missed the symposium I was going to

**ShiroGONE:** long story short we still don’t know how she did it but she saved us

**PrincessPink:** Coran convinced your building manager to let us into your dorm room and I already knew where everything was

**PrincessPink:** I’ve known u guys SO long…

**PrincessPink:** so yeah that’s out what else are we going to do with Klance?

**Hunkahunka:** well

**Hunkahunka:** we CAN still lock them in somewhere

**Hunkahunka:** but it’s going to require us ACTUALLY breaking a door

**Pidgeot:** glue it shut

**Pidgeot:** lure them in and trap them

**Pidgeot:** OH I have an idea that won’t damage anything too badly

**PrincessPink:** I mean we’re not getting the deposit back anyway so CASTLE MEETING MY ROOM NOW

**PrincessPink:** no one wake Klance we need time to plot

**Pidgeot:** well Lance will probs scream when he DOES wake up so that’s out warning to GIT 

* * *

 

**_Lancelot(offun)_ ** _to **Mulletboi**_

**_Lancelot(offun)_ ** _sent one photo_

**Lancelot(offun):** you’ll probably kill me in the morning

**Lancelot(offun):** but u are seriously super cute and soft when u sleep

**Lancelot(offun):** also your hair is the best pillow ever

**Lancelot(offun):** Ok we need to sleep in our own beds and not on the floor

**Lancelot(offun):** night my sword-swinging cute as a kitten BF (• ◡•)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha implying references to Voltron... that's not trope-y AT ALL XD
> 
> And yes Hunk and Shay get to have a not-date while working on stuff while everyone else is a #disaster.
> 
> Anyway, heads up - things will be maybe one or two posts a week. Classes are ending soon and that means CRAM AND CRASH time.
> 
> As a little bonus, let's say that "Operation: Klance" is going meet QUITE an interesting head in the next chapter!
> 
> Until then! See ya!


	6. What is Love? Baby Don’t hurt me NO LANCE!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Operation KLANCE has gone into effect! However, in attempts to set up mcstaberson with his boyfriend, is everything going to end up as planned???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IDK what I was on when I wrote this chapter but... HAHAHAHA
> 
> HAVE FUN

**Operation: Klance**

**PrincessPink:** are we all set?

**Pidgeot:** Rover’s little sister is in position

**Matt-o-fact:** U got Max running?

**Pidgeot:** YUP

**PrincessPink:** Perfect. Hunk?

**Hunkahunka:** Lance and I are in the living room and he’s oblivious

**PrincessPink:** Perfect! Shiro?

**_ShiroGONE_ ** _has sent a photo_

**ShiroGONE:** Matt and I got the room set and Keith is in the bathroom

**PrincessPink:** Ok clear out. Pidge? Activate the distraction on my mark. 

* * *

 

**_Matt-o-fact_ ** _to **PrincessPink**_

**Matt-o-fact:** The red lion is in pride rock

**PrincessPink:** perfect 

* * *

 

**_PrincessPink_ ** _to **Pidgeot**_

**PrincessPink:** Pull the lever, Pidge 

* * *

 

**Can I Quit College to become a Hermit?**

**_Mulletboi_ ** _renamed the chat **WTF???**_

**Mulletboi:** WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS THING???

**_Mulletboi_ ** _sent one photo_

**Pidgeot:** AHHH WHY WAS MAX IN YOUR ROOM???

**Mulletboi:** Max???

**Pidgeot:** robot project

**Lancelot(offun):** WHY IS THE DOOR LOCKED???

**Lancelot(offun):** It’s not even locked it’s JUST JAMMED

**Hunkahunka:** COMING

**ShiroGONE:** What happened???

**Mulletboi:** Well Max here made a huge BOOM sound and scared the CRAP out of me I tried to STAB it

**Mulletboi:** IF IT WASN’T MADE OF METAL IT’D BE DEAD

**Matt-o-fact:** chill stabby mcstaberson

**Pidgeot:** if you hurt Max you’re going down with Shiro in the robot apocalypse

**PrincessPink:** this castle has no chill

**Lancelot(offun):** HELLO

**Lancelot(offun):** STUCK

**Mulletboi:** Lance ran in here when he heard the boom and the door shut and jammed behind him

**Hunkahunka:** I’m looking at the door and there’s something jammed in there

**Hunkahunka:** I’m going to need to get something to wedge or melt this out

**PrincessPink:** U guys might be stuck for a bit…

**Matt-a-fact:** Get comfy boys

**Lancelot(offun):** Ok normally I wouldn’t care

**PrincessPink:** wait what?

**Lancelot(offun):** BUT THE RUNNING SUDDENLY WOKE MY BLADDER AND I HAVE TO PEE REALLY BADLY

**Matt-o-fact:** Wait u wouldn’t mind being locked in a room with Keith???

**Lancelot(offun):** NO DUH HE’S GREAT BUT I GOTTA GO!!!

**ShiroGONE:** Aren’t you guys, like, ALWAYS fighting tho?

**Lancelot(offun):** guys I seriously need to go I’M GOING TO CLIMB OUT THE WINDOW AT THIS RATE

**Mulletboi:** OK GUYS HE’S SERIOULY CONTEMPLATING THE WINDOW!!!

**Matt-o-fact:** SHIT LANCE IS THAT YOU’RE LEG???

**Matt-o-fact:** SHIRO OPEN YOUR WINDOW HE’S COMING DOWN

**PrincessPink:** WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON RIGHT NOW??? 

* * *

 

**Operation: Klance**

**_Pidgeot_ ** _renamed the chat **What the Fuck is Going On???**_

**Pidgeot:** Ok I can’t tell if that was a total disaster, a fucking masterpiece of a prank, and/or a scene straight out of a bad romance comedy?

**Matt-o-fact:** I mean it SEEMS like they like to spend time together even though they fight??? Like Lance would be chill being locked in a room with Keith for hours otherwise???

**ShiroGONE:** And afterwards Lance was the first to start working on Keith’s door to “save” him

**Hunkahunka:** groundbreaking thought

**Hunkahunka:** what if they KNOW they like each other??? And vise versa???

**PrincessPink:** wait are u implying they’re DATING???

**ShiroGONE:** Keith would so tell me he tells me everything

**ShiroGONE:** I was, like, his only friend for years

**Pidgeot:** This is LANCE we’re talking about

**Pidgeot:** that one time Nyma said she liked his shirt he wouldn’t stop singing her praises for TWO WEEKS

**Matt-o-fact:** Lance is the kind of person to sing his SO’s (or possible SO’s) praises for HOURS

**Hunkahunka:** but that’s when he’s in the honeymoon phase

**Hunkahunka:** most of his romances don’t last more than a few days, a couple weeks, so we never get past that

**Hunkahunka:** and keith doesn’t care for PDA

**PrincessPink:** are u implying

**PrincessPink:** that they may have been dating for WEEKS???

**Hunkahunka:** you know what? 

* * *

 

**_Hunkahunka_ ** _to **Lancelot(offun)**_

**Hunkahunka:** Hey where r u right now?

**Lancelot(offun):** helping keith sand down the last of this gunk from his door

**Lancelot(offun):** seriously this prank makes no sense

**Hunkahunka:** quick question

**Lancelot(offun):** shoot

**Hunkahunka:** u and Keith… u like him, don’t you?

**Lancelot(offun):** Oh heh yup.

**Lancelot(offun):** we’re dating. We figured we’d just tell u guys whenever someone brought it up

**Hunkahunka:** …

**Hunkahunka:** glad to hear it u two are good together

* * *

  **What the Fuck is Going On???**

**_Hunkahunka_ ** _sent 2 photos_

**Hunkahunka:** so…

**PrincessPink:** THOSE MOTHER FUCKERS

**Matt-o-fact:** I CAN’T BELIEVE THEY HAVE BEEN HIDING IT FROM US

**ShiroGONE:** how… how did I miss this on my own brother…

**Pidgeot:** Ok I’m going back to my robots now… 

* * *

 

**_PrincessPink_ ** _to **Lancelot(offun)**_

**PrincessPink:** I CAN’T BELIEVE U DIDN’T TELL ME

**Lancelot(offun):** gurl it’s been one hell of a ride

**Lancelot(offun):** plus it was a little awk at the beginning

**Princesspink:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**Lancelot(offun):** how about I give the action-packed story over nails and skin care?

**PrincessPink:** …keep talking… 

* * *

 

**_ShiroGONE_ ** _to **Mulletboi**_

**ShiroGONE:** so u and lance…

**Mulletboi:** oh right Hunk asked that

**Mulletboi:** yup

**ShiroGONE:** are u guys being safe?

**Mulletboi:** …yes…?

**Mulletboi:** I mean sans the window thing we usually don’t try to jump out buildings or anything

**ShiroGONE:** no I mean health class wise

**ShiroGONE:** like do u use condoms? Have u discussed things? How far is this relationship???

**Mulletboi:** OH MY GOSH NO

**Mulletboi:** look we’ve only been dating a few weeks and NEITHER of us is all that comfortable with sex

**Mulletboi:** Lance is pretty much a cuddle hog

**ShiroGONE:** Oh thank gods I was worried I was going to have to give u a safe sex talk

**ShiroGONE:** Anyway WHY DIDN’T U TELL ME

**ShiroGONE:** I’M YOUR OLDER BRO

**Mulletboi:** WHEN was I a big talker about my romantic life???

**ShiroGONE:** When did u HAVE a romantic life???

**Mulletboi:** HEY

**Mulletboi:** I dated that guy in high school

**ShiroGONE:** for like FIVE MINUTES

**ShiroGONE:** U PINNED OVER HIM FOR A MONTH FOR IT TO BE OVER IN A WEEK

**Mulletboi:** In my defense he thought my knife collection was creepy

**ShiroGONE:** EVERYONE is concerned about your knife collection

**Mulletboi:** BACK AWAY FROM THE KNIVES BOI

**Mulletboi:** I will stab u

**ShiroGONE:** Ur telling me to stay away from your knives or else you’re going to stab me???

**Mulletboi:** I mean what else am I going to do with a knife collection???

**ShiroGONE:** HOW DID I GO SO WRONG WITH YOU???

* * *

**_PrincessPink_ ** _to **CorantheMustacheMan**_

**PrincessPink:** AHHHHHHHH

**CorantheMustacheMan:** what’s wrong Allura???

**PrincessPink:** KEITH AND LANCE ARE DATING AND DIDN’T TELL US

**CorantheMustacheMan:** wait were we supposed to think they WEREN’T dating?

**PrincessPink:** …

**PrincessPink:** Coran

**PrincessPink:** when did u think they were dating?

**CorantheMustacheMan:** Why they’ve been dating for weeks!

**PrincessPink:** AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH QUIZNACK HOW DID I MISS IT FOR SO LONG??? 

* * *

 

**What the Fuck is Going On???**

**PrincessPink:** CORAN SOMEHOW KNEW FOR WEEKS

**Matt-o-fact:** for some reason I’m not even surprised by that it’s Coran

* * *

**WTF???**

**_Matt-o-fact_ ** _sent 55 photos_

**Pidgeot:** HOLY FUCK HOW MANY OF THESE DAMN 2012 MEMES DO U HAVE???

**Matt-o-fact:** I STOCKED UP FOR WHEN KLANCE BECAME A THING

**Lancelot(offun):** (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

**Matt-o-fact:** (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･: *ヽ(◕ヮ◕ヽ)

**Pidgeot:** It’s official Klance is the worst

**Mulletboi:** *best

**Lancelot(offun):** (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ  <3333

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELP Lance's bladder almost got him killed and someone FINALLY ASKED IF THERE WAS SOME CHEMISTRY INSTEAD OF JUST ASSUMING THEY WERE BEING IDIOTS
> 
> Also of course Coran knew the whole time he knew Pidge was a girl the whole time like U think u being sly but Coran the Mustache Man KNOWS
> 
> ON THE BRIGHT SIDE KLANCE IS NOW CANNON (as if it wasn't before). The only question remains...
> 
> Who is next on the chopping block? Will Hunk get the nerves to ask Shay on a date? Will Allura and Shiro and Matt figure out what polyamory is? Will Pidge build herself another robot?
> 
> WE'LL FIND OUT NEXT TIME!
> 
> SEE YA!


	7. Get Wrekt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the clearing of the air on the whole Klance "will they fight or kiss gawddamnit" debacle, the Castle needs a new ProblematicTM Romance to deal with. Get wrekt y'all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no life it's all been absorbed by grad school applications and anxiety and school and HRN...
> 
> But I have these nerds to vent on so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**WTF???**

**_Lancelot(offun)_ ** _renamed the chat **Castle of Single People ft. Klance**_

**Lancelot(offun):** I CAN’T BELIEVE U GUYS HAVE SPENT THE LAST FEW WEEKS TRYING TO PUT KEITH AND I TOGETHER WHEN WE WERE ALREADY TOGETHER

 **Mulletboi:** He hasn’t stopped laughing

 **Lancelot(offun):** OM G every time tho Keith start giggling too

 **PrincessPink:** if there is one thing this proves is that the universe wanted Klance and had to MAKE SURE KLANCE WAS GOOD

 **Lancelot(offun):** this DOES leave the current romantic drama slot open in the castle tho

 **Lancelot(offun):** as seen above

 **Matt-o-fact:** Wait are we electing the next person to get hitched?

 **Lancelot(offun):** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **Mulletboi:** I mean aside from Pidge the rest of y'all are in the running

 **Pidgeot:** I HAVE SPOTTED THE CRYPTID SOTHERN KEITH

 **Mulletboi:** I AM A SOUTHERN KID DEAL WITH IT

 **Pidgeot:** but yes leave me out of the running

 **Pidgeot:** I meddle in love I don’t deal with it

 **Lancelot(offun):** and since Hunk and Shay are slowly moving towards being a thing…

 **Hunkahunka:** LANCE! She and I are only friends!

 **Lancelot(offun):** yeah but she SERIOUSLY has a thing for u I can tell

 **Hunkahunka:** griibbnjfs

 **Mulletboi:** that leaves the princess, my dumb brother, and Holt 1.0

 **PrincessPink:** I am so glad none of you are in the law department now u know none of my law friends

 **ShiroGONE:** No

 **Matt-o-fact:** I AM THE MASTER OF MY OWN DESTINY

 **Pidgeot:** get wrekt matt

 **Hunkahunka:** so I have a TA named Ezor who might be a good match for Matt. She’s super bubbly and has really funky multi-colored hair

 **Matt-o-fact:** NO

 **Matt-o-fact:** Remember a while ago when I mentioned that there was a TA that looked like she wanted to kill me? Turns out that was Zethrid in the organic chem department. Her girlfriend? Bubbly anime-loving PhD student by the name of Ezor

 **Matt-o-fact:** I am NOT getting near her without a shiro

 **ShiroGONE:** don’t you mean shield?

 **Matt-o-fact:** I meant what I said

 **Matt-o-fact:** I will also take an Allura because she could kick ass any day of the week

 **PrincessPink:** Damn straight

 **Lancelot(offun):** *damn pan

 **PrincessPink:** Ok I deserved that one 

* * *

 

**_Pidgeot_ ** _added **Lancelot(offun), Mulletboi,** and **Hunkahunka** to the chat!_

**_Pidgeot_ ** _renamed the chat **The Epic Romance of Shalluratt**_

**Lancelot(offun):** OOOO is this a romantic black ops chat because I’m totally in

 **Mulletboi:** WTF is a shalluratt???

 **Hunkahunka:** didn’t you just get over telling us that u wouldn’t get involved with love

 **Pidgeot:** personally? Yes get the gross feelings away from me

 **Pidgeot:** but it’s high time I deal with this mess and with Klance established and Hunay on the way we need a plan of attack for Shalluratt

 **Pidgeot:** aka getting Shiro, Allura, and Matt together

 **Lancelot(offun):** I have read enough fanfiction to be prepared for this. We’re going polyamory right?

 **Pidgeot:** yup

 **Hunkahunka:** wait wait wait

 **Hunkahunka:** they all already dated one another already, didn’t they? And didn’t it not work out?

 **Mulletboi:** no see Shiro and Matt were a couple in high school but broke it off Senior year for some reason IDK shiro never told me

 **Pidgeot:** yeah it was mostly shiro Matt groaned to me for WEEKS about it thinking he’d fucked up but was determined to be the best friend still

 **Pidgeot:** then in college these guys couldn’t stay away from one another so they wound up at the same college and Allura and Matt dated for, like, six months through the end of freshman year until Shiro’s accident over the summer. Matt took a semester off to be there for Shiro and the two mutally broke it off at that point

 **Pidgeot:** BUT

 **Pidgeot:** through hacking into Matt’s diary I know for a fact he broke it off with Allura because he still was in deep for Shiro even though he was ALSO in deep for Allura and felt terrible over it all

 **Lancelot(offun):** ok but also have u SEEN some of the looks Allura and Shiro share when they think no one is looking?

 **Hunkahunka:** like an old married couple right?

 **Lancelot(offun):** LIKE AN OLD MARRIED SPACE MOM AND SPACE DAD WITH TOO MANY DAMN KIDS

 **Mulletboi:** where am I when he shares these looks???

 **Lancelot(offun):** Keith, buddy, stars to my night sky

 **Lancelot(offun):** you are completely oblivious to the finer points of romance sometimes

 **Lancelot(offun):** love u for it but still

 **Pidgeot:** ok so what’s the plan

 **Hunkahunka:** we’re not doing the locked room again

 **Hunkahunka:** not only did it turn out not to work AT ALL but also Lance nearly died because of his bladder

 **Pidgeot:** are u guys almost home? We can plot in my lab where the whiteboard is

 **Hunkahunka:** Lance and I are still walking home from lec but should be there soon

 **Mulletboi:** coming ur way pidge 

* * *

 

**The Golden Trio**

**Matt-o-fact:** Why do I suddenly have a feeling the undergrads are plotting???

 **PrincessPink:** why???

 **Matt-o-fact:** because I can’t find ANY of them and they’ve been too damn quiet

 **ShiroGONE:** crazy thought

 **ShiroGONE:** they’re studying for once

 **Matt-o-fact:** HAHAHAHA

 **Matt-o-fact:** That’s a good one Shiro

 **Matt-o-fact:** who studies in college???

 **PrincessPink:** we all did

 **PrincessPink:** I mean we partied hard but we studied harder

 **PrincessPink:** I remember that time you went 48 hours without sleep in prep for that one Biochem exam

 **Matt-o-fact:** I mean it could have been worse

 **Matt-o-fact:** I could have been shiro that one time he not only got sick, but he was working and prepping for TWO exams that were within 24 hours of each other

 **Matt-o-fact:** remember how he worked so hard that he LITERALLY passed out the moment he handed in the first exam

 **PrincessPink:** oh my gosh I remember that

 **PrincessPink:** Shiro do u know how much we panicked when we heard???

 **Matt-o-fact:** I’m pretty sure I had a heart attack

 **ShiroGONE:** I was just dehydrated

 **PrincessPink:** but WE didn’t know that!!!

 **Matt-o-fact:** I’m just glad the nurses told him he could get a note to get his second exam bumped a few days so that you could ACTUALLY get better

 **Matt-o-fact:** AND THEN HE STILL TRIED TO STUDY THROUGH IT

 **ShiroGONE:** you’re one to talk Mr. I Never Sleep

 **ShiroGONE:** I know you’re lurking Allura and you are just as bad

 **PrincessPink:** RUDE

 **PrincessPink:** I would never

 **ShiroGONE:** I seem to recall a certain white-haired woman who went a week where she slept an average of 4 hours per night and wound up so sleep deprived she lost all coordination one day

 **ShiroGONE:** resulting in a cracked Fibula

**_Matt-o-fact_ ** _renamed the chat **The Walking Disasters**_

**PrincessPink:** accurate

 **ShiroGONE:** so if the undergrads are busy u guys want to go out and complain about students?

 **Matt-o-fact:** LET ME VENT PLEASE

 **Matt-o-fact:** to someone who gets it

 **PrincessPink:** VENT OUT

 **PrincessPink:** Ok they have a table at Vino we’re going there

 **Matt-o-fact:** Allura that place is FUCKING EXPENSIVE

 **ShiroGONE:** we can’t go there

 **PrincessPink:** Oh no I need good wine and good food and I’m paying DON’T TRY TO STOP ME

 **ShiroGONE:** ALLURA STOP

 **PrincessPink:** TOO LATE I’M HALF WAY THERE AND I’VE KIDNAPPED MATT

**_PrincessPink_ ** _sent one photo_

**ShiroGONE:** MATT!!!

 **Matt-o-fact:** SHIRO JOIN US

 **PrincessPink:** JOIN US

 **ShiroGONE:** …

 **ShiroGONE:** FINE but THIS ONCE

 **ShiroGONE:** Allura I’m treating next time don’t fight me

 **PrincessPink:** we’ll cross that bridge when we get there

 **PrincessPink:** I have this British Duchess Inheritance after all why not spend a little bit every now and again to treat my favorite people in the world

**_Matt-o-fact_ ** _sent one photo_

**Matt-o-fact:** (ﾉ▀ ͜͞ʖ▀)ﾉ[̲̅$̲̅(̲̅100)̲̅$̲̅]   [̲̅$̲̅(̲̅100)̲̅$̲̅]  [̲̅$̲̅(̲̅100)̲̅$̲̅]

 **ShiroGONE:** fine fine I’m coming 

* * *

 

**Kicking FUCKING Physics in the Ass**

**Hunkahunka:** so the answer for question 4 is that the tension equals 4 N right?

 **FeShay:** Yeah that makes the most sense

 **Lancelot(offun):** wait what the fuck how did I get forty???

 **Mulletboi:** did u make sure to convert to meters?

 **Lancelot(offun):** FUCK that would do it

 **Pidgeot:** So onto 5… uhg it’s five parts

 **Lancelot(offun):** HOLY SHIT srihgragugba

 **Hunkahunka:** ok so I know that sucks but isn’t that a bit of an extreme reaction???

 **Mulletboi:** It’s Lance

 **Lancelot(offun):** NO HOLY SHIT LOOK AT THIS

**_Lancelot(offun)_ ** _sent 4 photos_

**Pidgeot:** Wait they went on a date without us meddling???

 **Pidgeot:** Rude

 **Lancelot(offun):** *sigh* No… her Instagram says that she’s at dinner with her “best friends in the world”

 **Lancelot(offun):** false alarm

 **Mulletboi:** damn

 **FeShay:** uh…

 **Hunkahunka:** oh right sorry shay this is a thing for our roommates/older siblings

 **Mulletboi:** basically we think they should date one another but they’re all too stubborn to do so

 **FeShay:** Ah

 **FeShay:** Good luck with them

 **FeShay:** since I haven’t met them I feel like I should stay out of it but they seriously look cute together

 **Pidgeot:** It’s not weird that we’re trying to put three people together?

 **FeShay:** nah

 **FeShay:** Love is love after all. As long as they are communicating and are happy and not hurting anyone it’s none of my business.

 **Lancelot(offun):** we seriously need to introduce her she’s been working with us for weeks and she’s never been over to the castle

 **Pidgeot:** tru

 **Pidgeot:** Shay u need to meet Rover and Max I’ve seriously expanded on their AI lately

 **Hunkahunka:** so, uh, I guess next study session at the Castle of Lions?

 **FeShay:** I don’t want to intrude

 **Pidgeot:** we let Lance in the house you’re fine

 **Lancelot(offun):** RUDE

 **Lancelot(offun):** keith defend me

 **Mulletboi:** Lance is like peanut butter

 **Lancelot(offun):** to your jelly?

 **Mulletboi:** sticks to everything and u can never get rid of it

 **Lancelot(offun):** ATTACKED BY MY OWN BOYFRIEND

 **Mulletboi:** but without peanut butter this world would suck and pidge knows it

 **Mulletboi:** I mean peanut butter sandwiches, Hunk’s Peanut butter cookies

 **Mulletboi:** what would the world be without them?

 **Mulletboi:** ok lance just came in my room and is now hugging the shit out of me

 **Pidgeot:** UHG FEELINGS

 **FeShay:** Awww

 **FeShay:** U guys are adorable

**_Lancelot(offun)_ ** _sent one photo_

**Lancelot(offun):** THIS MOTHER FUCKER <3

 **Pidgeot:** can we get back to the homework already???

 **Mulletboi:** he’s gonna need a few minutes to snuggle this out of his system

 **Hunkahunka:** so we need that angle equation on this one right? 

* * *

 

**_FeShay_ ** _to **Hunkahunka**_

**FeShay:** so…uh…

 **FeShay:** I mean I know I’ve only known u for a couple of weeks but

 **FeShay:** I was wondering if you wanted to go do something sometime?

 **FeShay:** just the two of us?

 **Hunkahunka:** Shay are you asking me on a date?

 **FeShay:** I mean if this is weird I can delete the chat and we can be friends and forget that I ever asked

* * *

**_Hunkahunka_ ** _to **Lancelot(offun)**_

**_Hunkahunka_ ** _sent one photo_

**Hunkahunka:** WHAT DO I DO????

 **Lancelot(offun):** OMG OMG OMG!!!!

 **Lancelot(offun):** do u WANT to go on a date???

 **Hunkahunka:** YES

 **Lancelot(offun):** THEN SAY YES OK??? 

* * *

 

**_Hunkahunka_ ** _to **FeShay**_

**Hunkahunka:** YES

 **Hunkahunka:** I mean

 **Hunkahunka:** how about bowling and burgers at the Underground?

 **FeShay:** EEE

 **FeShay:** oh my gosh I didn’t mean to send that

 **FeShay:** Stupid Siri

 **FeShay:** uh

 **FeShay:** so yeah Friday? Seven?

 **Hunkahunka:** I can’t wait 

* * *

 

**Castle of Single People ft. Klance**

**Pidgeot:** WHAT IS WITH THE SCREAMING IN THIS HOUSE???

 **Lancelot(offun):** HUNK’S GOT A DATE WITH SHAY

 **Pidgeot:** HOLY FUCK SERIOUSLY???

 **Matt-o-fact:** OMG OMG OMG

 **Mulletboi:** Of for the love of mothman WHY ARE YOU ALL YELLING???

 **Mulletboi:** wait

 **Mulletboi:** Oh congrats Hunk good luck u can do it!

 **PrincessPink:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **ShiroGONE:** While I fully am happy for Hunk please scream more quietly before the neighbors call the cops on us

 **ShiroGONE:** seriously someone is going to think we murdered someone

 **Matt-o-fact:** *screams more quietly*

 **ShiroGONE:** Good boy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHAHAHA ALL THE ROMANCES
> 
> PS I don't remember anything from college physics except for BOOMS and random terms so NOBODY QUESTION MY SCIENCE
> 
> I ship these losers because I have no romance in my life. I mean who needs romance when u can have fan fiction AM I RIGHT???
> 
> Sorry KIND OF losing my marbles over here. School is CRAZY and Graduate applications are INSANE and work is... WORK.
> 
> Just stay with me folks.
> 
> Until next time!


	8. HUNAY HUNAY (Do do do do)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hunk has confirmed that he is going on a date! Everyone is out to make this the best first date ever, even if it's dealing with some questionable characters against Shiro's best hope.
> 
> Meanwhile, Matt seems to get a clue???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA**
> 
>  
> 
> GUESS WHO JUST SUBMITTED HER LAST GRAD SCHOOL APPLICATION??? GAWDDAMNIT I AM SO HAPPY THESE THINGS ARE DONE!!!
> 
> SO ON WITH THE SHOW!!!

**_Matt-o-fact_ ** _to **Pidgeot**_

**Matt-o-fact:** I need to get myself a boyfriend

 **Matt-o-fact:** or girlfriend

 **Matt-o-fact:** sister of mine how am I single???

 **Pidgeot:** WHY are you asking me this in the middle of the night???

 **Matt-o-fact:** Because if I text anyone else they’ll yell at me, and you and I both know our sleep schedules are fucked up anyway

 **Pidgeot:** Uhg… But FEELINGS

 **Pidgeot:** Just go date… idk someone

 **Matt-o-fact:** super helpful

 **Pidgeot:** ya know what?

* * *

**_Pidgeot_ ** _added **Lancelot(offun)** and **Matt-o-fact** to the chat!_

**_Pidgeot_ ** _renamed the chat **Get Matt’s Romantic Life Fucking Worked Out**_

**Lancelot(offun):** oh hell yes

 **Matt-o-fact:** I’m going to sound like shiro saying this but

 **Matt-o-fact:** what the FUCK are YOU doing up???

 **Lancelot(offun):** well it’s midnight and I have an English paper due in the AM that I never got around to writing

 **Lancelot(offun):** so *jazz hands*

 **Matt-o-fact:** I still think it’s ridiculous that u and hunk have to take extra English just because ur first languages aren’t English

 **Matt-o-fact:** U GUYS ATTENDED ENGLISH SPEAKING SCHOOLS SINCE ELEMENTARY???

 **Lancelot(offun):** Preaching to the choir man

 **Lancelot(offun):** but DISTRACTION

 **Pidgeot:** so to start I figure we find someone Matt’s type who isn’t out for his blood or dating someone out for his blood

 **Matt-o-fact:** I have standards after all

 **Lancelot(offun):** No but level with me what ARE your ideal traits?

 **Matt-o-fact:** IDK???

 **Matt-o-fact:** like gender isn’t a component because I’m BICONIC

 **Matt-o-fact:** but like I’d love someone who could level with me on an intellectual level and also a sass level

 **Matt-o-fact:** I went on a date once with this guy and he just… didn’t get a single pun I made

 **Lancelot(offun):** ouch

 **Lancelot(offun):** not even Keith is THAT dense

 **Pidgeot:** If he can’t handle the beginner level meme then he’ll never make it to the boss stage

 **Matt-o-fact:** Right???

 **Matt-o-fact:** But also I want someone who’s strong but not to, like, protect me but stand beside me

 **Matt-o-fact:** Like we support one another

 **Lancelot(offun):** Hmmm

 **Lancelot(offun):** I have a few candidates in mind

 **Matt-o-fact:** SERIOUSLY???

 **Lancelot(offun):** but I need to know your feelings on white hair

 **Matt-o-fact:** Pidge did u read my journal???

 **Pidgeot:** duh

 **Pidgeot:** I didn’t tell anyone your kink for white hair tho

 **Matt-o-fact:** fhgshgroihg

 **Matt-o-fact:** EXPOSED

 **Lancelot(offun):** right I’ll work on it and get back to u

* * *

**The Epic Romance of Shallurat**

**_Lancelot(offun)_ ** _sent 3 photos_

**Pidgeot:** He’s into basically Allura and Shiro type

 **Mulletboi:** Great can this wait until morning???

 **Mulletboi:** and Lance get your fucking paper done IT’S ONE AM U NEED SLEEP

 **Lancelot(offun):** HOW DO U KNOW I’M NOT DONE???

 **Mulletboi:** BECAUSE I’M DATING U

 **Mulletboi:** the world would have to end to get u out of hibernation

 **Lancelot(offun):** RUDE

 **Hunkahunka:** guys please I need sleep

 **Pidgeot:** sorry hunk

 **Lancelot(offun):** ^^

 **Mulletboi:** *sigh* so now I’m up Lance do u want company?

 **Lancelot(offun):** if u come sit on my bed with me I swear I will focus

 **Mulletboi:** I know you’re just using me for cuddles

 **Lancelot(offun):** YOU’RE SO SOFT THO AND PERFECT SIZED FOR CUDDLES

 **Pidgeot:** UHG GET A ROOM

 **Lancelot(offun):** ;)

 **Pidgeot:** I regret Klance plotting the results are terrible 

* * *

 

**Castle of Single People ft. Klance**

**_PrincessPink_ ** _renamed the chat **HUNAY HUNAY U ARE MY CANDY GUUURL**_

**PrincessPink:** HUNK HUNK I HAD TO FIND OUT ABOUT THE DATE FROM THE GROUP CHAT HOW COULD U HIDE THIS FROM YOUR MOTHER??? U WERE ALREADY ASLEEP TOO THEN OFF TO CLASS AND NOT A WORD!!!

 **Hunkahunka:** uh… I talked to my moms this morning and they know I have a date??? They were super excited for me???

 **PrincessPink:** I meant your space mother

 **Lancelot(offun):** Hunk has officially too many moms we need labels on all of them

 **Hunkahunka:** Well my bio mom is my tina and my mom mom is mom so… Allura can be space mom?

 **Pidgeot:** does that mean she and shiro are married?

 **ShiroGONE:** We have shared custody for some reason because laws

 **Matt-o-fact:** Ask the lawyer

 **PrincessPink:** Laws makes yes

 **Mulletboi:** u people are a train wreck

 **ShiroGONE:** pot, kettle

 **Matt-o-fact:** So hunk, son of mine…

 **Lancelot(offun):** HOW MANY PARENTS DOES THIS CHAT HAVE???

 **Matt-o-fact:** I’m obvi Space Daddy

 **Pidgeot:** Can we remove him from the chat?

 **Pidgeot:** and the house???

 **PrincessPink:** He’s a cosigner so no, unfortunately

 **Matt-o-fact:** Just for that I’m not getting ANY of u anniversary presents

 **Mulletboi:** Aren’t yall divorced?

 **Matt-o-fact:** semantics

 **Matt-o-fact:** but back to the important details what are u thinking hunk

 **Hunkahunka:** well… she’s pretty active person and loves DOING things so I asked if she wanted to go bowling

 **ShiroGONE:** nice and safe – approved by space dad

 **PrincessPink:** What are u guys going to do for food?? The Underground serves food I know

 **Hunkahunka:** …

 **Hunkahunka:** so I may have suggested food their first

 **Hunkahunka:** but now I’m thinking of making food???

 **Lancelot(offun):** ROMANTIC HOMEMADE DINNER *clutches heart* HOW MUCH MORE PERFECT CAN IT GET???

 **Mulletboi:** Hey I know a guy at the underground who can give u roof access

 **Lancelot(offun):** Rolo???

 **Lancelot(offun):** OMG I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE THINKING I APPROVE

 **Pidgeot:** elaborate

 **Lancelot(offun):** so one of our early dates was to the Underground but it was Saturday and no lanes were open so we opted to join two other couples

 **Lancelot(offun):** except one jock turned out to be a massive jerk and one of the girls was a “yoai fangirl”

 **Matt-o-fact:** ew ew ew I know where this is going

 **Mulletboi:** So lance is racking up points by a mile a minute and I’m not too far behind

 **Lancelot(offun):** so of course the jock has to say some shitty things to us and Keith… lost it

 **Mulletboi:** in my defense Yoai girl was already pissing me off

 **Mulletboi:** but then Rolo comes in. he and I go back because we use the same shop to work on our bikes and stuff. He’s managing that night and “kicks” us all out

 **Mulletboi:** but then I tell him I’m on a date so I “owe him one” and he takes me and Lance up to the roof with a couple of burgers

 **Lancelot(offun):** I kid u not it was the most romantic thing ever sitting on that roof and pointing out constellations and eating crappy food

 **Mulletboi:** So I can see if Rolo is on that night and if he is I can try to convince him to give u two roof access too

 **PrincessPink:** I AM SO PROUD OF MY CHILDREN WORKING TO MAKE HUNK’S DATE A LEVEL 12 OUT OF 10!!!

 **ShiroGONE:** I have some concerns

 **ShiroGONE:** isn’t Rolo bad news?

 **Mulletboi:** Nah he and Nyma went straight last year after that big bust threw the rest of their gang in jail. They seriously slipped on a technicality and Nyma was convinced it was a sign to get their lives straightened out

 **Lancelot(offun):** Nyma is a little bitchy still but she’s trying to be a good person. She and I were in Coran’s class last year and have each other’s numbers because of projects. We sometimes snapchat.

 **Hunkahunka:** Ok I’m back to concerned

 **Hunkahunka:** Keith ARE U SURE IT’S OK???

 **Mulletboi:** I wouldn’t trust rolo with my life but he’s not, like, evil 

 **Mulletboi:** if we make a deal he'll hold up his end of the bargain

* * *

 

**_Mulletboi_ ** _to **RollinintheDeep**_

**Mulletboi:** hey rolo I got a favor to ask

 **Mulletboi:** U work this Friday at underground?

 **RollinintheDeep:** I do. What’s the favor?

 **Mulletboi:** My buddy’s go a first date and could use a romantic star watching point

 **RollinintheDeep:** roof access? IDK man I could get in trouble…

 **Mulletboi:** Please u practically own the joint

 **RollinintheDeep:** Point but it’s still gonna cost ya

 **Mulletboi:** What’s the trade? Bike parts?

 **RollinintheDeep:** nah man something bigger

 **RollinintheDeep:** Ur boyfriend is still friends with Nyma, right?

 **Mulletboi:** …yes?

 **RollinintheDeep:** Ok so her birthday is Wednesday and I am STUCK on what to get her and she’s being all “mysterious” about it

 **RollinintheDeep:** if he can get me the intel ur boy has a romantic date spot 

* * *

 

**HUNAY HUNAY U ARE MY CANDY GUUURL**

**_Mulletboi_ ** _sent 2 photos_

**Mulletboi:** his terms

 **Lancelot(offun):** oh my gods this is too easy

 **Lancelot(offun):** her snaps have been filled with nothing but this one necklace for the last 2 weeks

**_Lancelot(offun)_ ** _sent 5 photos_

**PrincessPink:** Ok that girl has taste

 **Pidgeot:** I don’t even WEAR that much jewelry but that would be awesome to have

 **Matt-o-fact:** But how would Rolo miss this???

 **Mulletboi:** Rolo doesn’t do social media. Beezer does all the PR for the underground

 **Pidgeot:** OMG Beezer

 **Pidgeot:** sorry they and I are in the same computer sci class and they’re, like, almost as smart as me

 **Matt-o-fact:** wow compliment like that makes him almost sound like a friend

 **Pidgeot:** They’re a level 3 acquaintance at this point but they is on the fast track to make friend by midterm due dates

 **Matt-o-fact:** SO PROUD

 **Hunkahunka:** SHE’S MAKING FRIENDS

 **PrincessPink:** *cries tears of pride*

 **Pidgeot:** stfu 

* * *

 

**_Mulletboi_ ** _to **RollinintheDeep**_

**_Mulletboi_ ** _sent 6 photos_

**Mulletboi:** according to Lance this is what Nyma has been pining for

 **RollinintheDeep:** U sure?

 **Mulletboi:** Yeah it also got approval from all the fashionable members of the castle so it’s probs something she would want

 **RollinintheDeep:** ok so I’ll get it but if it doesn’t work I’m coming for u Kogane 

* * *

 

**HUNAY HUNAY U ARE MY CANDY GUUURL**

**_Mulletboi_ ** _sent 1 photo_

**Mulletboi:** good ol Rolo

 **ShiroGONE:** HOW did I go so wrong with u??? 

* * *

 

**The Epic Romance of Shallurat**

**Lancelot(offun):** guess who overheard some juicy gossip

 **Pidgeot:** a flying blue monkey

 **Lancelot(offun):** no THIS GUY

 **Pidgeot:** I stand corrected

 **Lancelot(offun):** RUDE

 **Mulletboi:** Pidge my bf alone until AFTER because he told me already and OMG

 **Mulletboi:** I swear he could get secrets out of anyone

 **Hunkahunka:** so what’s up?

 **Lancelot(offun):** I FINALLY GOT THE SECRET OF ALLURAT

 **Lancelot(offun):** so this happened this afternoon when Allura got home and was, like, dead AF cause Wednesday

 **Lancelot(offun):** so I offered gossip and pampering and it was all down hill from there

 **Lancelot(offun):** after applying facemask and doing some hair stuff she was putty in my hands so I just started nudging in romance talk – ya know what Keith and I did on our last date

 **Mulletboi:** we literally ate pizza and played Mario party

 **Lancelot(offun):** yes but I didn’t put it so bluntly mr. I have no tact

 **Lancelot(offun):** EVENTUALLY I widdled her down to the good ol’ days and I GOT THE TRUTH

 **Pidgeot:** Lance QUIT HOLDING OUT ON US ALREADY

 **Lancelot(offun):** but where’s the dramatics in that???

 **Mulletboi:** Lance tell or no kisses for a week

 **Hunkahunka:** Lance for the love of Quiznack STOP SCREAMING DRAMATICALLY

 **Pidgeot:** at least no one will suspect

 **Mulletboi:** not with his well-established “quota”

 **Lancelot(offun):** So Allura and Matt broke off partially because of Shiro’s accident and Matt’s dropping a semester put distance but, for her, she realized that she had feelings for BOTH and didn’t want to end up hurting EITHER of them!

 **Lancelot(offun):** Best part? SHE’S NOT OVER THEM

 **Pidgeot:** IT’S BEEN YEARS

 **Lancelot(offun):** SHE’S WAITED AND CAN’T DEAL

 **Lancelot(offun):** WE MUST SAVE THE QUEEN

 **Hunkahunka:** so that’s two thirds of the Shallurat triangle we can assune could still rekindle relationships

 **Pidgeot:** one remains

 **Lancelot(offun):** if only one of us could talk to him…

 **Mulleboi:** …

 **Mulletboi:** I hate this family 

* * *

 

**_RollinintheDeep_ ** _to **Mulletboi**_

**RollinintheDeep:** So the intel turned out to be very lucrative

 **Mulletboi:** please don’t go into details it’s Thursday morning and I’m gay

 **Mulletboi:** meaning I get the hints and don’t want anymore

 **RollinintheDeep:** fine by me but Nyma seriously appreciated the gift

 **RollinintheDeep:** I’ll get your boy access whenever he wants. Hell, I’ll even throw in a reserved lane, on me, as a thanks to your boyfriend

 **Mulletboi:** …thanks… they’ll be there at seven

 **RollinintheDeep:** gotta go Nyma’s up for round… whatever

 **Mulletboi:** UHG I AM GAY TMI

* * *

**HUNAY HUNAY U ARE MY CANDY GUUURL**

**Mulletboi:** Rolo’s reserved u a lane at 7 and has roof access open to u Hunk

 **Lancelot(offun):** were my snapchat skills of use?

 **Mulletboi:** apparently

 **Pidgeot:** why do I feel there is more???

 **Mulletboi:** Pidge, u, of all people, are better off not knowing

 **Pidgeot:** EW EW EW I CAN INFERENCE U DIPSHIT

 **Hunkahunka:** I mean… as long as they’re happy…

 **Hunkahunka:** ok I’m going to the store to get ingredients I need to meal prep for you guys AND make dinner for Shay and I now

 **PrincessPink:** Hello Hunk just saw the message

 **PrincessPink:** We’ll order Chinese delivery don’t worry

 **ShiroGONE:** we’ll also probs be around if u need anything

 **Matt-o-fact:** OMG we haven’t had a Mario Party tournament since Keith threw the controller into the wall last year we should do it Friday

 **Pidgeot:** We trust Keith???

 **Mulletboi:** HEY

 **Mulletboi:** the cheap strap broke on the swing

 **ShiroGONE:** the swing at nothing when u got in fourth???

 **Pidgeot:** again, why?

 **PrincessPink:** well one we’re not getting the deposit back anyway so wii controller dents are just ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ at this point

 **PrincessPink:** Also we’ll ban Lance and Keith from playing one another so the other can be the supportive boyfriend to hold the BF back from breaking anything

 **Lancelot(offun):** CUDDLE ATTACKS FOR ANY GRUMPY KEITHS

 **Lancelot(offun):** but I still want to play him

 **Mulletboi:** yeah just because we’re dating doesn’t mean we don’t still have our rivalry

 **Lancelot(offun):** I will kick your ASS at the shooting games!!!

 **Mulletboi:** and I’ll STILL get more stars then you

 **Mulletboi:** even if u are the most beautiful star in the galaxy

 **Lancelot(offun):** gieubgenfdsnga

 **Matt-o-fact:** the reveal of their relationship has opened some sort of worm hole that’s seeping their gooiness into the rest of the chats

 **Pidgeot:** GET YOUR OWN CHAT

 **Mulletboi:** :)

 **Lancelot(offun):** :)

 **ShiroGONE:** I am too old for this

 **PrincessPink:** ^^

 **Matt-o-fact:** I am so proud of my sons 

* * *

 

**_FeShay_ ** _to **Hunkahunka**_

**FeShay:** Hey hunk! I’m at the Underground door r u almost here?

 **Hunkahunka:** Oh! I’m inside! I got lane 2 reserved for us :D

 **FeShay:** Perfect! See you soon! 

* * *

 

**HUNAY HUNAY U ARE MY CANDY GUUURL**

**_Hunkahunka_ ** _sent 1 gif_

**Hunkahunka:** guys she’s gorgeous I’m gonna die

 **Matt-o-fact:** RIP in pieces Hunkahunka

 **Lancelot(offun):** DAMN THAT SHOT IS ON POINT

 **Lancelot(offun):** strike?

 **Hunkahunka:** Strike

 **Lancelot(offun):** dude u /struck/ out

 **Mulletboi:** why am I dating u

 **Lancelot(offun):** because u LOVE me :D <3

 **PrincessPink:** Hunk just say calm u have this all planned out just be yourself and enjoy it!

 **ShiroGONE:** have u guys done the roof thing yet?

 **Hunkahunka:** No I told her we’d grab food after the first game but Rolo is going to take us up then

 **Hunkahunka:** OH it’s my turn! Bye guys!

 **Lancelot(offun):** GOOD LUCK FROM THE CASTLE OF LIONS!!!

**_Lancelot(offun)_ ** _sent 1 photo_

* * *

**_FeShay_ ** _to **MaxRax**_

**FeShay:** Rax

 **FeShay:** Big brother

 **FeShay:** LOOK AT WHAT THIS PRESCIOUS HUMAN DID

**_FeShay_ ** _sent 5 photos_

**FeShay:** HE MADE DINNER WE’RE HUDDLED UNDER THE STARS WITH HAND-MADE BLANKETS HIS GRANDMA MADE WHO IS THIS PRESCIOUS HUMAN???

 **MaxRax:** I don’t trust him still

 **FeShay:** Rax

 **FeShay:** U don’t like any of my potential dates

 **FeShay:** BUT THIS ONE

 **FeShay:** AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 **MaxRax:** ┬──┬ ノ( ゜-゜ノ)

 **FeShay:** Oh stop throwing a tantrum at my date I can handle him

 **FeShay:** OMG HE MADE PIE IT’S OVER I’M MARRYING HIM

 **MaxRax:** he’s dead to me 

* * *

 

**HUNAY HUNAY U ARE MY CANDY GUUURL**

**Hunkahunka:** WE KISSED

 **Pidgeot:** Omg

 **Matt-o-fact:** My face has cleared my crops have been watered

 **PrincessPink:** ship has SAILED

 **Mulletboi:** Lance can’t come to the phone right now he’s too busy screaming “MY BEST FRIEND DONE DID IT”

 **ShiroGONE:** we’re just happy that you’re happy :) 

* * *

 

**_FeShay_ ** _to **HunkaHunka**_

**FeShay:** Hunk that was probably the best first dates I’ve ever been on

 **FeShay:** you were amazing thank you so much for the wonderful evening

 **Hunkahunka:** Shay I should be thanking you

 **Hunkahunka:** if you had never asked I would have been nervous forever

 **Hunkahunka:** you are seriously amazing

 **FeShay:** *blush*

 **FeShay:** if I’m amazing you’re stupendous!

 **Hunkahunka:** *blush harder*

 **Hunkahunka:** so… want to go on another date sometime?

 **Hunkahunka:** IDK how I’ll top it but it’ll be fun

 **FeShay:** Oh no u hijacked my date proposal I’M panning the next one

 **FeShay:** and it’ll be wonderful as long as I get to have a blast with my favorite Paladin :D

 **FeShay:** I’ll text you tomorrow, ok? Thank you again for the great night :D

 **Hunkahunka:** Thanks but, again, I thank you for MAKING it great by just being you :D

 **FeShay:** even though I whooped your butt in bowling?

 **Hunkahunka:** ESPECIALLY because u did so

 **Hunkahunka:** did I ever mention I suck at bowling and usually play with bumpers?

 **FeShay:** Hunk IDK how u exist because OMG

 **FeShay:** amazing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Hunk's date was FABULOUS and everything went great :D Rax may still kill Hunk for simply being too good to be true (he doesn't trust ANYONE, especially when it involves his sister's heart).
> 
> Also Rolo and Nyma had their biker bad past but they're trying now. Keith still doesn't trust them that much but they got mutual respect and such. Lance and Nyma are snapchat "friends."
> 
> HAAAAAA Sorry I am so happy that I am done with these applications. I get now ONE whole day to chill before I have to hit the books though because papers and exams and work and AHHHHHHHHH *goes back to screaming*
> 
> ANYWAY I will see u guys in the next chapter! Have a great weekend!
> 
> ALSO just because I feel bad for the weird update schedule, a little more about our Paladin Pals!
> 
> Matt and Lance are our Bi Boys, but Lance is more Biromantic Asexual/Demisexual. Both are total romantics and take FAR too many cues from anime. Matt's coming out involved him dramatically falling out of a closet with purple, pink, and blue streamers. He's always been a proud bi. Lance had a LOT of anxiety about it at first but he told his cousin who helped him come out to his family, and he's never looked back.
> 
> Our Pan kids are Allura, Hunk, and Shay. Shay has a pin on her backpack and Allura once found Pan stuff at Target during Pride Month and bought one of EVERYTHING (and an extra bandana for Hunk). Hunk is the most nervous about telling people about his sexuality (including his own same-sex couple moms). Allura will kick anyone's ass who tries to be rude to them. Shay just slowly started adding Pan stuff to her nicknacks (pins, headbands) until her parents asked and grandma was like "she's pan sonny get with the times."
> 
> Shiro is Demi. He needs to have an established relationship with someone before he starts falling for them, so that's why it took him a few years develop and discover his crush for Allura. Matt, of course, was practically playpen buddies so there was no question on the relationship there. He's out to everyone, and his parents were, at first, not sure what it was but then they looked it up and were like "OHHHH ok." They're really chill parents when it comes to sexualities.
> 
> Keith is gay AF. Just hit him out of the blue one day while he was eleven and watching an action flick and was like "shit I'm gay" right as Shiro walked into the room. Shiro, of course, dropped the popcorn and hugged keith, leading to lots of yelling, some of Pride (I LOVE U BABY BROTHER U ARE VALID AND CAN LIKE WHOEVER U WANT) and some of killer intent (I'M GAY NOT DYING OFF OFF!). Keith didn't say anything at first until he was thirteen and sure because Keith's not a talker but then he brought it up with his parents they were like "yeah you're gay we love u still now go clean your room."
> 
> Pidge is an ACE engineer XD. But yeah she never got sex or romantic romance. Not surprisingly, she's usually the first to realize when someone is crushing on someone else or her (and she has the two plans on how to shut them down - the "nice" way and the "Pidge is Pissed" way). Unlike her brother, she did not, in fact, dramatically fly out of a closet but just told her mom after a comment on "so anyone catch your eye lately?" she was like "eh... yeah. no. No one's every catching my eye. Ever."
> 
> Coran is... Coran. We're not really sure of his orientation. No one really is. They're just sure he's #notstraight.
> 
> As for everyone else I'll leave the head cannons to you!


	9. Lots of Fucking emotions LET’S BE HONEST

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emotions are flying everywhere, and the Paladins are planning plots to get Shalluratt to realize their feelings. Will we get through their thick skulls that they can love each other??? Or will unicorn Puke fail to help???
> 
> And, yes, there is Unicorn Puke, according to Matt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHAHAHA I was going to work on a paper and "accidentally" clicked this in word and was like "welp while I'm here...."

**The Epic Romance of Shallurat**

**Pidgeot:** SHIPPERS ASSEMBLE

 **Mulletboi:** If that was the case where’s matt and allura?

 **Pidgeot:** SHIPPERS WHO ARE NOT SHALLURAT UNITE

 **Lancelot(offun):** YEAH BOI

 **Hunkahunka:** Ok what was so important that we’re texting during Physics and ur computer sci class?

 **Mulletboi:** hurry up Thace is demoing gravity and it’s going to fuck some people up

 **Pidgeot:** OMG I CAN’T WAIT UNTIL LATER

 **Pidgeot:** But back to the plot

 **Pidgeot:** We had Exams and Hunay became a thing but NOW WE MUST CONTINUE

 **Hunkahunka:** Shay is reading over my shoulder BTW

 **Pidgeot:** wait I got an idea

 **_Pidgeot_ ** _renamed the chat **Castle Paladins**_ ****

* * *

 

**Kicking FUCKING Physics in the Ass**

**_Pidgeot_ ** _renamed the chat to **Shalluratt Plotting Squad**_

 **Pidgeot:** honestly this made more sense then adding her to the other group chat and having two of the same people

 **Pidgeot:** The other can be for when we undergrads of the castle need something or whatever

 **Pidgeot:** Shay is as much part of the plot now as we are

 **Lancelot(offun):** She’s been baptized by the studying in the castle and being nonplused by Matt stealing Shiro’s arm and Allura’s mice

 **FeShay:** Allura’s mice were wonderful but a half-dressed armless man chasing another around a multi-level home…

 **FeShay:** your brothers are something else

 **Mulletboi:** And you’ve known them for three weeks

 **Mulletboi:** imagine being related to Shiro for 10 years

 **Pidgeot:** imagine being related to Matt since birth

 **FeShay:** yeah your bros are much more zanny than Rax

 **Hunkahunka:** RAX WANTS TO KILL ME

 **FeShay:** I’ll protect u <3

 **Hunkahunka:** <3

 **Pidgeot:** So we know that Matt has a thing for Allura and Shiro and Allura is still tots crushing so what’s the news on Shiro?

 **Mulletboi:** …

 **Lancelot(offun):** HAHAHA

 **Lancelot(offun):** Mullet has been actively AVOIDING it!

 **Mulletboi:** LANCE

 **Mulletboi:** I have not it’s just… not come up

 **Pidgeot:** classic Keith… *sigh* avoid emotions

 **Mulletboi:** oh like you’re one to talk if it weren’t for Matt coming to u and Lance being the actual romance guru you’d be nowhere

 **Pidgeot:** EXPOSED

 **Hunkahunka:** Keith do u need help?

 **Lancelot(offun):** babe do u need romantic help

 **Mulletboi:** …

 **FeShay:** it’s ok to admit defeat

 **Hunkahunka:** oh no

 **Lanclelot(offun):** ACCEPT MY HELP WITH DEFEAT KEITH

 **Mulletboi:** NO WAY IN HELL U BEAUTIFUL BASTARD

 **Lancelot(offun):** I AM A BEAUTIFUL ROMANCE GURU U ADORABLE FUCKER

 **FeShay:** are we sure they’re dating?

 **Hunkahunka:** yes

 **Pidgeot:** U should have seen them last year

 **Mulletboi:** U KNOW WHAT??? 

* * *

 

 **_Mulletboi_ ** _to **ShiroGONE**_

 **Mulletboi:** shiro do u have a crush on anyone?

 **ShiroGONE:** WHY AREN’T U PAYING ATTENTION IN CLASS???

 **Mulletboi:** I am but I also need to prove a point to Lance

 **Mulletboi:** quick I’m missing the demo

 **ShiroGONE:** In what bet/rival/competition does LANCE need to know that he can’t ask me himself?

 **ShiroGONE:** why does it even matter???

 **Mulletboi:** STOP AVOIDING THE QUESTION OR ELSE I’LL GET MY KNIVES

 **ShiroGONE:** WHERE DID I GO WRONG WITH YOU???

 **Mulletboi:** Shiro this is LANCE I MUST WIN

 **ShiroGONE:** …

 **ShiroGONE:** FINE

 **ShiroGONE:** I have a crush

 **Mulletboi:** describe

 **ShiroGONE:** WHY???

 **Mulletboi:** because

 **ShiroGONE:** I… uh…

 **ShiroGONE:** ok swear u won’t tell anyone

 **Mulletboi:** fine

 **ShiroGONE:** I have crushes on two people – one guy and one gal

 **ShiroGONE:** both are super smart and beautiful and are lovely people and I CAN’T JUST GET DAMN WELL OVER THEM

 **ShiroGONE:** AND TWO PEOPLE BRAIN??? Can’t u just be chill and at least let me nly pine over one???

 **Mulletboi:** Thanks that’s all I needed 

* * *

 

**Shallurat Plotting Squad**

**_Mulletboi_ ** _sent 3 photos_

 **Mulletboi:** I promised not to tell

 **Mulletboi:** I said nothing about showing

 **Lancelot(offun):** HOW am I dating u

 **Lancelot(offun):** Me, the king of romance, sharpshooter extraordinaire

 **Lancelot(offun):** and U, the bluntest cryptid obsessed knife wielding kitten ever

 **Pidgeot:** I mean he GOT the info

 **FeShay:** can we safely assume that Shiro is still crushing on Matt and Allura

 **Hunkahunka:** I would assume so

 **Pidgeot:** so how do we proceed?

 **Hunkahunka:** Ok so from Shiro, at least, it seems that they don’t see that Polyamory is a thing

 **Lancelot(offun):** which is weird because I know that Matt, at least, has suggested enough fanfiction to me

 **Pidgeot:** his senior quote was literally “by the power of god and anime I summon this degree”

 **Mulletboi:** at least shiro wasn’t that bad

 **Hunkahunka:** I’m almost afraid to ask

 **Pidgeot:** “Patience yields focus”

 **FeShay:** HOW do u remember this???

 **Lancelot(offun):** he’s got a POSTER of it on his wall

 **Mulletboi:** it’s his mantra

 **Pidgeot:** I am actually surprised he hasn’t given u the patience speech yet

 **Hunkahunka:** Shay is already good on patience

 **Lancelot(offun):** tru

 **Mulletboi:** I mean she’s survived us thus far

 **Pidgeot:** as for Matt’s he spammed me so many times with it it’s unfortunately burned into my brain

 **FeShay:** ok but I’m curious now what were all your quotes because mine was “be the change you wish to see in the world”

 **Hunkahunka:** mine was “a half-baked idea is okay as long as it’s in the oven”

 **Pidgeot:** I’d rather be building robots

 **Lancelot(offun):** May your life be like toilet paper… long and useful!

 **Mulletboi:** I forgot to send in my senior quote

 **Pidgeot:** yeah and I was bored so I hacked the yearbook and put one in for u

 **Mulletboi:** wait really???

 **Lancelot(offun):** HOW DID YOU MISS THIS???

 **Mulletboi:** I had, like, three friends in HS and pidge was by far my best friend

 **Mulletboi:** I only got a yearbook because my parents wanted me to

 **Hunkahunka:** Pidge what did u make his quote???

 **Pidgeot:** While u were busy being heterosexual I studied the blade

 **Lancelot(offun):** I am dying

 **Lancelot(offun):** Blessed be the pidge and her tumblr memes

 **Mulletboi:** I’m not complaining that’s fuckign accurate

 **Mulletboi:** I’m actually wondering now if anyone ELSE noticed

 **FeShay:** ok but back to plan

 **Pidgeot:** I’m closest to the LGBT center should I pick up some stuff???

 **Lancelot(offun):** yes I think we should start slow because, unlike Keith and I, they obvi aren’t in a secret relationship at this point and shoving them into a locked closet won’t work

 **Hunkahunka:** U ar never going to let that die aren’t u

 **Mulletboi:** He will not

 **Mulletboi:** neither will I for that matter

 **Mulletboi:** Because U were trying to put together a couple WITHOUT EVER ASKING IF THEY WERE DATING OR LIKED EACH OTHER

 **Pidgeot:** In our defense it was u two

 **FeShay:** that’s the bell good luck getting the stuff! 

* * *

**HUNAY HUNAY U ARE MY CANDY GUUURL**

**_Matt-o-fact_ ** _renamed the chat **Unicorn Puke Everywhere**_

 **ShiroGONE:** why matt WHY

 **_Matt-o-fact_ ** _sent 1 photo_

 **Matt-o-fact:** because there is a rainbow of pamphlets puked all over the kitchen table

 **Matt-o-fact:** which of u gays did this

 **Lancelot(offun):** the BI of the group did it u heathen

 **Lancelot(offun):** it’s for a paper thing in English I needed resources

 **Matt-o-fact:** great but WHY the kitchen table

 **Lancelot(offun):** because WHY NOT

 **Matt-o-fact:** because other people use this???

 **Hunkahunka:** just clear a spot in the mean time

 **Pidgeot:** if you’re bored u can always READ

 **Lancelot(offun):** HELP A BI BOY OUT WITH RESEARCH

 **Matt-o-fact:** son, I love u, but I am above undergrad research

 **ShiroGONE:** we suffered for too long

 **PrincessPink:** amen 

* * *

 

**Get Matt’s Romantic Life Fucking Worked Out**

**Matt-o-fact:** something has occurred to me

 **Matt-o-fact:** what if I simultaneously like 2 people

 **Pidgeot:** Oh good u aren’t a total idiot

 **Matt-o-fact:** 1 – RUDE

 **Matt-o-fact:** 2 – wait what

 **Lancelot(offun):** we had a hunch that u mad feelings for two whitettes still

 **Lancelot(offun):** well one whitette and one Brogane who’s not Keith

 **Pidgeot:** I read your diary

 **Matt-o-fact:** AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 **Matt-o-fact:** DO ALLURA AND SHIRO KNOW???

 **Pidgeot:** as far as we know no

 **Matt-o-fact:** Swear to me right now that u won’t communicate to them in ANY FORM this information 

* * *

 

**Shallurat Plotting Squad**

**_Pidgeot_ ** _sent 1 photo_

 **Pidgeot:** so…

 **Lancelot(offun):** Guys we can’t spill we gotta let things work out at his pace

 **Hunkahunka:** agreed

 **FeShay:** same

 **Mulletboi:** we haven’t even gotten Shiro and Allura to realize yet

 **Mulletboi:** HAVE WE NOT LEARNED FROM THE KLANCE INCIDENT

 **Pidgeot:** uhg FINE 

* * *

 

**Get Matt’s Romantic Life Fucking Worked Out**

**Pidgeot:** yeah I won’t tell them or anything unless u give me the go ahead

 **Lancelot(offun):** If anyone respects letting relationships be personal and at people’s own rates IT’S THIS GUY

 **Lancelot(offun):** I also suggest though talking to them at some point though because, as the local romance guru, communication is always key

 **Matt-o-fact:** Yeah no I understand that but I just realized that I’m still possibly in love with my ex boyfriend and ex girlfriend at the same time LET ME ABSORB FIRST 

* * *

 

**Shallurat Plotting Squad**

**Lancelot(offun):** we have Matt who are we targeting next? 

* * *

 

 **_Lancelot(offun)_ ** _to **Mulletboi**_

 **Lancelot(offun):** so with all this romance talk I realized that WE haven’t gone on a real date in a while…

 **Lancelot(offun):** and I know u have that big exam coming up so do u want to do date night after that?

 **Lancelot(offun):** I was debating movie, dinner, a combination…

 **Lancelot(offun):** OR

 **Lancelot(offun):** we do a specialty date because u are the most special person I know

 **Mulletboi:** I mean u know me I’m pretty ok with anything as long as I’m with u

 **Mulletboi:** Every date is great and amazing as long as you’re there with me

 **Mulletboi:** (but yes please after exam and low key would be great otherwise I may accidentally stab someone)

 **Lancelot(offun):** Awww

 **Lancelot(offun):** babe

 **Lancelot(offun):** U are seriously so sweet

 **Mulletboi:** If anyone is sweet it’s u

 **Mulletboi:** I really love u so much for just being u

 **Lancelot(offun):** I love u too

 **Lancelot(offun):** my mullet-covered kitten :D

 **Mulletboi:** You know what? I think I’m starting to like kitten

* * *

**Unicorn Puke Everywhere**

**_ShiroGONE_ ** _renamed the chat **NO MORE DRAMATICS AFTER ELEVEN GAWDDAMNIT**_

 **ShiroGONE:** STOP YELLING LET ME SLEEP

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So people are starting to realize things and, of course, the paladins aren't as subtile as they think. Matt, Allura, and Shiro are just super thick when it comes to their own emotions in the love triangle.
> 
> Keith??? Being Cute??? TOTALLY scream worthy. Sorry Shiro if u wanted sleep u shouldn't have moved into this house XD
> 
> Until next time!


	10. Plots for EVERYONE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> EVERYONE is getting in on some scheme or other at the Castle. With a certain Brogane's birthday on the horizon and a love triangle still to be worked out, will everyone survive and be stab-free for Halloween?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While writing this I forgot that the illusion of time exists for some people so HAHAHA I'm putting Keith's birthday wherever XD
> 
> Keith exists beyond time and space he has exams to deal with (and so do I for that matter).

**_Lancelot(offun)_ ** _added **ShiroGONE, Matt-o-fact, PrincessPink, Hunkahunka, Pidgeot,** and **FeShay** to the chat!_

**_Lancelot(offun)_ ** _renamed the chat **Bitty Brogane Birthday Bash!**_

**Lancelot(offun):** the countdown begins

 **Lancelot(offun):** I talked to him last night and he’s so knee deep in this exam I think he forgot

 **Hunkahunka:** again???

 **ShiroGONE:** last year I told him to be ready for dinner and Matt, Pidge, Allura, and I showed up and he was like “wait I thought we were getting burgers”

 **Hunkahunka:** He didn’t even tell me. We were friends and I would have made him a cake :(

 **Lancelot(offun):** Hunk’s cakes, like all of his cooking, is legendary and will be awesome

 **Pidgeot:** He’s going to be stressed by his exam so we can’t overwhelm him

 **PrincessPink:** Yeah no loud noises or crowded places he might startle

 **FeShay:** he sounds more like a frazzled animal then an almost 20-yo

 **Matt-o-fact:** I mean he is keith

 **Matt-o-fact:** and a college student who will be low on sleep

 **Matt-o-fact:** and high on caffeine

 **Lancelot(offun):** so maybe something small at our place?

 **ShiroGONE:** He’s probably going to be at the library all day so we can decorate the kitchen then

 **Pidgeot:** He’s been pining over a few video games on amazon we can get him one of those for a gift

 **Lancelot(offun):** I already got him something but I’ll pitch in on the games

 **ShiroGONE:** same

 **Hunkahunka:** How about pidge and I buy video games

 **FeShay:** I’ll pitch in! Otherwise, IDK, I don’t know his game preferences and otherwise the only thing I can think of right now is Cryptid stuff or a knife

 **ShiroGONE:** NO KNIVES HE’S GOT TOO MANY AS IS

 **Pidgeot:** Yeah join Team Gaming cryptid stuff is hit or miss because of politics

 **Hunkahunka:** there are cryptid politics???

 **Pidgeot:** yes

 **PrincessPink:** Matt remember in the store the other day? That one u said tumblr memes were everywhere?

 **Matt-o-fact:** yes

 **Matt-o-fact:** OMG we should get him that

 **Pidgeot:** wait what are u getting him???

 **PrincessPink:** There is this one store on University that has so many funny and cute things in it

 **Matt-o-fact:** I saw some socks that said “cute but psycho but cute” with knives on it and said “this is keith”

 **PrincessPink:** I also found a mug that reveals the gay pride flag from behind a door when u add hot drink

 **Lancelot(offun):** that is keith alright

 **ShiroGONE:** ok so gifts are go

 **Hunkahunka:** I’ll take Lance and Pidge to help with groceries and prep

 **Pidgeot:** yeah don’t let the Bunsen burner trio in the kitchen

 **Pidgeot:** but I’m almost as bad as matt why me?

 **Hunkahunka:** you’ll actually follow my directions though so you’re acceptable help

 **Hunkahunka:** Unlike SOME holts who nearly ruined my pie because they “didn’t think there was enough sugar” then nearly added SALT

 **Matt-o-fact:** ROOD

 **PrincessPink:** I’m in charge of decorations then

 **PrincessPink:** The boys and I can make a target run to get the stuff then decorate after keith leaves

 **FeShay:** What am I on???

 **Hunkahunka:** describe your worst cooking disaster

 **FeShay:** …uh the only thing that’s coming to mind is the time my over-sensitive fire alarm kept going off every time I boiled water…

 **Hunkahunka:** She’s on team Kitchen

 **Lancelot(offun):** OK PEOPLE we have five days to get the Bitty Brogane B-day Bash together LET’S DO THIS 

* * *

 

**NO MORE DRAMATICS AFTER ELEVEN**

**_Mulletboi_ ** _renamed the chat **FUCKING HISTORY**_

**Mulletboi:** HRNNNNNNN

 **Lancelot(offun):** How much is studying for your history of science exam paining u?

 **Mulletboi:** I want to stab someone

 **Mulletboi:** particularly sendak

 **Matt-o-fact:** I had a feeling about that class

 **Mulletboi:** yeah well I needed the social studies credit and it was the only mildly interesting looking class that fit my schedule

 **Mulletboi:** But then the original teacher with all the recommendations retired and SENDAK

 **Mulletboi:** HE’S TRYING TO MURDER US ALL I CAN TELL

 **ShiroGONE:** are u at home or studying elsewhere?

 **Mulletboi:** I’m meeting with some kids at the library, Antok and Regris Marmora

 **Mulletboi:** they’re in the class with me and seniors so we’re trying to cram all this info into our brains

 **ShiroGONE:** wait any relation to Ulaz Mamora? He’s the junior chief of my department

 **Mulletboi:** I just asked and apparently Ulaz is a second uncle

 **Mulletboi:** HOLY SHIT

 **Matt-o-fact:** WHAT HAPPENED???

 **Mulletboi:** U guys won’t believe this

 **Pidgeot:** don’t leave us hanging TELL US

 **Mulletboi:** apparently Ulaz is dating THACE

 **Lancelot(offun):** NO

 **Mulletboi:** YES

 **Hunkahunka:** how did this even come up???

 **Mulletboi:** one of them remembered me saying that I was an engineering major and was like “hey have u taken physics with Thace?” and I was like “I’m in his class now y?” and he was like “OH OUR UNCLE AND HIM HAVE BEEN DATING IT’S KINDA SERIOUS”

 **Mulletboi:** Regris seems kind of like a fusion of Lance and Pidge he’s got hacker skills but he only does so to get all the gossip and likes to talk a lot but not in a mean way

 **Matt-o-fact:** I am simultaneously intrigued and scared

 **Pidgeot:** a fusion of me and Lance is the thing of nightmares

 **Mulletboi:** Uhg ok Antok is reminding us to stay focused because EXAM

 **Mulletboi:** HRN

 **ShiroGONE:** Ok sasuke go study for ur exam do well

 **Matt-o-fact:** OMG

 **Matt-o-fact:** ITACHI IS SHIRO AND SASUKE IS KEITH

 **Matt-o-fact:** wait no reverse shiro=itachi blah blah blah

 **ShiroGONE:** yeah but I would never kill my family or village or whatever

 **Matt-o-fact:** BUT THE PERSONALITIES

 **Lancelot(offun):** *backs away slowly before I ge t pulled into anime debate*

 **Pidgeot:** ^^^

 **Hunkahunka:** ^^^ 

* * *

 

**Shalluratt Plotting Squad**

**Lancelot(offun):** so did shiro and/or allura find the pamphlets I planted?

 **Hunkahunka:** u mean the ones that u left on their shoes in the hall closet? Yeah Shiro found both

 **Pidgeot:** he asked us what Polyamory is and why these were in the closet so I told him u had “some project thing” and probably dropped them

 **Hunkahunka:** I had to convince him to just hold onto them and I’d let u know in case u needed them

 **Lancelot(offun):** quiznack I was hoping to get them both with that one

 **FeShay:** try getting one to Allura more directly

 **FeShay:** like you’re good at convo maybe just mention “I found something that reminded me of your situation” kind of deal

 **Lancelot(offun):** ok I’ll try something like that

 **FeShay:** hey where’s keith? He’s usually chimed in by now

 **Lancelot(offun):** he’s probably studying somewhere when he has a big exam he pretty much puts his phone on silent for everything but notifications and calls from Shiro and his parents

 **Pidgeot:** and that’s only because one time in HS he fell asleep at the library with his phone off and his parents and Shiro FREAKED and I had to hack his laptop to track him before they called the cops

 **Pidgeot:** so those calls will get through as needed in case of “panicky Shirogane parent syndrome”

 **FeShay:** ah

* * *

**_Mulletboi_ ** _to **ShiroGONE**_

**Mulletboi:** Shiro when I die I want them to blare my chemical romance at my funeral

 **ShiroGONE:** so how do u really feel about this exam

 **Mulletboi:** SENDAK SUCKS

 **ShiroGONE:** Keith just breathe

 **ShiroGONE:** Maybe u need a break. Where are u right now?

 **Mulletboi:** home in room

 **Mulletboi:** nobody else is back yet

 **ShiroGONE:** ok follow my instructions carefully

 **ShiroGONE:** I want you to put the books aside, walk to the bathroom, and take a hot bubble bath and watch some tv. Give yourself AT LEAST an hour break

 **Mulletboi:** I haven’t taken a bubble bath ever

 **Mulletboi:** I’m too old for them

 **ShiroGONE:** that’s a lie

 **ShiroGONE:** I still take bubble baths

 **Mulletboi:** yeah but you’re six

 **ShiroGONE:** look I know self care can seem stupid when you’re stressed but it’s the little things that will lead to bigger effects. Ripples, you know

 **ShiroGONE:** take a breather now and come back to the work later when u feel less like death

 **ShiroGONE:** Allura has this stuff in the bathroom that she let’s me borrow and it makes the BEST baths

 **Mulletboi:** is it ok tho? For me to use it? 

* * *

 

**_ShiroGONE_ ** _to **PrincessPink**_

**ShiroGONE:** Can Keith steal some of that space bath stuff you have?

 **PrincessPink:** The Quintessence Suds?

 **ShiroGONE:** Yeah that

 **PrincessPink:** let me guess – our boy is suffering

 **ShiroGONE:** he wants me to start planning his funeral

 **ShiroGONE:** he wants my chemical romance playing

 **PrincessPink:** ok he needs some self-care stress relief now

 **PrincessPink:** tell him that he’s GOT to use it it’s the best

 **ShiroGONE:** thanks :D 

* * *

 

**_ShiroGONE_ ** _to **Mulletboi**_

**ShiroGONE:** Allura said go for it it’s her quintessence suds

 **ShiroGONE:** just a heads up but the bath is going to get funky space colors and you’ll have the biggest bubbles you’ve ever seen

 **ShiroGONE:** u can even be super lazy and put your laptop on the toilet seat cover to watch TV and bathe

 **ShiroGONE:** it seriously helps

 **Mulletboi:** sounds fake but FINE I’ll try it 

* * *

 

**Bitty Brogane Birthday Bash!**

**Lancelot(offun):** omg

 **Lancelot(offun):** I just got home and?!?!

 **Lancelot(offun):** Keith is SINGING in the bathroom and the boy can SING

 **ShiroGONE:** oh good he took my advice

 **Matt-o-fact:** which was jam out in the bathroom???

 **ShiroGONE:** no do a destress session

 **Lancelot(offun):** HE WAS STRESSED AND DIDN’T TELL ME I AM THE KING OF PAMPERING SESSIONS

 **Pidgeot:** yeah and the loudest person ever

 **Hunkahunka:** you know keith – I mean u ARE his boyfriend. Sometimes he just needs to lone wolf it

 **Lancelot(offun):** *sigh* yeah he can get really flustered with too much attention it’s tru

 **Lancelot(offun):** Hey hunk do we have any cookies left?

 **Hunkahunka:** some plain sugar are in the pantry y

 **Lancelot(offun):** I’m just going to leave him a snack in his room and a note reminding him that we’re all rooting for him

 **PrincessPink:** relationship goals right here

 **FeShay:** I just got into the group chat and Lance

 **FeShay:** you’re such a good BF

 **FeShay:** almost tied with hunk :)

 **Hunkahunka:** <3

 **Pidgeot:** uhg u people are gross

 **Pidgeot:** also update on the ACTUAL topic of this chat, games are arriving tomorrow

 **FeShay:** excellent

 **Lancelot(offun):** THREE DAYS TO PARTY BASH Y’ALL

 **Hunkahunka:** oh gods southern Keith has spread to Lance

 **Pidgeot:** RARE CRYPTID SPOTED 

* * *

 

**_Mulletboi_ ** _added **Antok** and **RegRage** to the chat!_

**_Mulletboi_ ** _renamed the chat **Fuck Sendak**_

**Antok:** U know that’s really not appropriate to say about a teacher

**_RegRage_ ** _renamed the chat **F*ck Sendak**_

**Mulletboi:** acceptable

 **Antok:** Seriously Regris?

 **RegRage:** Careful what u say I know EVERYTHING

 **Mulletboi:** do u know the exam answers?

 **RegRage:** Sendak keeps his exam on an external hard drive until right before the exam

 **RegRage:** Not that I was trying to steal the answers or anything

 **Mulletboi:** the fact that ur a criminology major scares and impresses me so much

 **Antok:** The fact that you’re a criminology major concerns me for our future crime control

 **Mulletboi:** anyway do u think the review session tonight is really going to help or should we just stay in

 **RegRage:** why hot date?

 **Mulletboi:** if “hot date” includes my boyfriend pampering me then yes

 **Mulletboi:** sendak is just going to ruin my mood and I need to know if the study session is worth it

 **Antok:** I spoke to a friend and they said to just go to the TA hours tomorrow. Sendak apparently just goes over random slides from the lectures for an hour and then dismisses questions

 **Antok:** jerk

 **RegRage:** GASP

 **RegRage:** SUCH RUDE WORDS ABOUT A PROFESSOR OUT OF MY COUSIN’S MOUTH

 **Mulletboi:** dear gods… Ok I’m going to ignore review session then and stay in

 **RegRage:** Want to study tomorrow?

 **Mulletboi:** no offense but the night before I usually just do practice exams and stuff on my own but thanks for inviting me to study guys

 **Antok:** you were a good companion in the battle of History

 **RegRage:** plus u seemed to know what was up we had to grab u

 **Mulletboi:** did u hack my grades

 **RegRage:** no that’s against student conduct

 **RegRage:** I just browsed the TA’s grade sheets while he wasn’t looking

 **Mulletboi:** U and my friend pidge would get along like gasoline and fire

 **Antok:** Do me a favor and never introduce them

 **Mulletboi:** believe me I won’t go out of my way to put those two together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehehe planning and plotting is fun :D
> 
> Although Keith is #stressed about this exam he's completely forgotten it's his b-day (again). At least he's got Team Mamora and the Castle to back him up!
> 
> Also HEHE UlazxThace is just a ship I got sucked into somewhere so it's going on somewhere in the background.
> 
> So... the question remains... will they survive Keith's birthday without any stabbing?
> 
> Until next time!


	11. TEAM SUPPORT KEITH

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith's exam is here and this boy is so #STRESSED. He's suffering severely, but, hopefully, his friends and fam can help him out.
> 
> After all, if they have to plan his funeral over his party what are they going to do with all this cake???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So just a quick comment to all those who loved Marmora boyz last chapter u guys seriously helped me cuz i was #STUCK on a future chapter. I actually write a few chapters ahead before I post, so chapter, like, 17? I think? SERIOUSLY giving me trouble.
> 
> All the love for Marmora, though, convinced me to mess around with them in this chapter, and they seriously tied the whole chapter together :D THANKS FOR THE COMMENTS FRIENDS!!!
> 
> Anyway ON WITH THE TEAM PLOTTING AND SUPPORT

**Fucking History**

**Mulletboi:** AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 **Pidgeot:** it’s Friday morning plz stop

 **Pidgeot:** Max kept me up all night and I haven’t had coffee yet

 **Hunkahunka:** did u realize that ur exam is in a few hours?

 **ShiroGONE:** Keith where r u did u even come home last night? I swear you did but you’re nor here now and I’m concerned

 **Mulletboi:** yes

 **Mulletboi:** but then I got anxious and went for a walk

 **Mulletboi:** but then I got MORE anxious so I came home, got my books, and went to the library to study at 3 AM

 **Lancelot(offun):** WHY DIDN’T U GET ME I’M YOU’RE BOYFRIEND

 **Mulletboi:** BECAUSE U WERE SLEEPING AND I DIDN’T WANT TO WAKE U

 **Lancelot(offun):** IF YOU ARE ANXIOUS COME WAKE ME GAWDDAMNIT

 **Matt-o-fact:** Ok but Pidge and I were awake why not us

 **Mulletboi:** …

 **Mulletboi:** I think I forgot

 **Mulletboi:** uh… I don’t…

 **ShiroGONE:** keith

 **ShiroGONE:** when did u sleep last?

 **Mulletboi:** I got two hours the other night

 **Mulletboi:** I think

 **PrincessPink:** Ok it’s 8 am

 **PrincessPink:** Keith when is ur exam?

 **Mulletboi:** uh… 4:30. It’s going to be an hour and a half long

 **PrincessPink:** Great go home AND SLEEP

 **Mulletboi:** I HAVE CLASS

 **Lancelot(offun):** Hunk? Pidge?

 **Hunkahunka:** U can count on me

 **Pidgeot:** If u get the coffee going I’ll be of assistance

 **Lancelot(offun):** I’ll even throw in these pancakes I was working on. I’ll make more for me later :D

 **Pidgeot:** BLESSED

 **Mulletboi:** wait what are u guys doing???

 **Lancelot(offun):** what library are u at?

 **Mulletboi:** Kennedy

 **Mulletboi:** WHAT ARE U DOING???

 **Lancelot(offun):** we’re taking a day off. I’m going to come pick you up and then bring u home, feed u my famous pancakes, and then make sure u take a nap

 **Mulletboi:** We have physics and u have English and we also have the engineering class we can’t skip it all

 **Lancelot(offun):** buddy u are in no shape to go to class

 **Lancelot(offun):** and I know that if I leave u without someone you’ll just jump the fence and go to class or study or something stupid and ruin your health

 **Hunkahunka:** I’m in Physics with u two and English with Lance he and u can just steal my notes

 **Pidgeot:** I’ll video capture the engineering lecture and u can watch it later

 **Matt-o-fact:** I have time at lunch I’ll bring home some food anything that helps

 **Matt-o-fact:** can’t let my pseudo-brother die on us

 **PrincessPink:** I have some special tea, too

 **Lancelot(offun):** ok so I put the pancakes to the side and the coffeemaker is going I’m grabbing the car keys and come over

 **Lancelot(offun):** wait by the door I’ll be there in ten

 **Mulletboi:** … thank u

 **Hunkahunka:** we just want to make sure u are in the best mindset for the exam! U can do it!

 **Matt-o-fact:** ^^^

 **PrincessPink:** ^^^

 **Pidgeot:** Cryptid kids support one another

 **Hunkahunka:** I’m sure if Lance could text he’d be singing your praises so we got u 

* * *

 

**_ShiroGONE_ ** _to **Mulletboi**_

**ShiroGONE:** so I didn’t want to ask in the group chat but are u keeping up with your medications??? I know your doctor mentioned that coming back to school could spike panic and anxiety

 **Mulletboi:** I haven’t taken my meds today (duh), but it was just sleep I didn’t think it was a big deal I’ll nap later

 **ShiroGONE:** Keith

 **ShiroGONE:** one brogane to another

 **ShiroGONE:** I know what panic looks like and losing sleep means you’re having panic. I think u need to take your emergency med before u sleep when u come home so you will be in a better mindset

 **Mulletboi:** …

 **Mulletboi:** I ran out and forgot to get a refill

 **ShiroGONE:** Ok 1 – I’ll call the pharmacy and get u a refill today but u seriously need to remember better in the future

 **ShiroGONE:** and 2 – I have a back-up I’ll put it by your bed

 **Mulletboi:** why do u have my script???

 **ShiroGONE:** I keep back-ups of all our medications. Matt even designated me the “Holt Emergency Pharmacy” because I have extras of all their meds, too, in the emergency kit. Considering I was already carrying Pidge’s OTC allergy meds anyway when we were kids it was “inevitable” according to Matt

 **Mulletboi:** U are totally a space dad

 **ShiroGONE:** *sigh* yup

 **ShiroGONE:** sometimes it’s a plus tho

 **Mulletboi:** ur the best broter evr

 **Mulletboi:** shut I m cryi n

 **ShiroGONE:** Ok it’s ok Lance is almost there, and I’ll be here when u get here. I’ve got the biggest hug if u want it

 **Mulletboi:** can I call u?

**_ShiroGONE – cell_ ** _– Press to Answer_

* * *

 

**Bitty Brogane Birthday Bash**

**FeShay:** Lance I heard Keith wasn’t feeling well is he feeling better?

 **Lancelot(offun):** yeah

 **Lancelot(offun):** he was penting up a lot of anxiety the last few days and I don’t even think he realized it

 **Lancelot(offun):** I fed him and helped him change into some clean PJs and he fell asleep

 **Lancelot(offun):** I’m actually trapped

 **Lancelot(offun):** I offered to sit with him while he nodded off and now I’m in a death trap he’s not letting go

 **Lancelot(offun):** phones are very entertaining and I’m just reading and news surfing

 **Pidgeot:** WIPPED

 **Lancelot(offun):** oh shut up he needs it

 **PrincessPink:** I’m just glad that u are there for him

 **PrincessPink:** are u out for the plans then?

 **Lancelot(offun):** probs

 **Lancelot(offun):** he wants me to wake him before his exam and help him review so I’ll prob hang out with him up until his exam and then I can do some quick running

 **Hunkahunka:** it’s ok u use the time to catch up on work Team Kitchen can handle it

 **ShiroGONE:** Make sure my lil bro is alive to make it to 21

 **Lancelot(offun):** yeah he can’t die before we can legally drink :)

 **Matt-o-fact:** He’s got his priorities straight alright

 **Pidgeot:** nothing about this chat is straight 

* * *

 

**FUCKING HISTORY**

**_ShiroGONE_ ** _renamed the chat **SUPPORTING KEITH**_

**PrincessPink:** ^^^

 **Hunkahunka:** ^^^

 **Pidgeot:** ^^^

 **Matt-o-fact:** WE SUPPORT U OUR EMO CHILD

 **Lancelot(offun):** HE’S A BIT OF A MESS BUT THAT GOOFY GRIN

**_Lancelot(offun)_ ** _sent one photo_

**Lancelot(offun):** Keith put his phone away and I gave him a hug from all of us I think he’s gonna be ok

 **Lancelot(offun):** now don’t bug keith he’s gonna need to FOCUS and GET HIS STUFF DONE so we can CELEBRATE him more later :)

 **PrincessPink:** Maybe spell it out again lance ಠ_ಠ

 **Lancelot(offun):** ｡◕‿‿◕｡

* * *

 

**Bitty Brogane Birthday Bash**

**Lancelot(offun):** half way through the missed lecture (thanks Pidgy :D) and a third through Keith’s exam how are things going???

* * *

**_PrincessPink_ ** _to **Lancelot(offun)**_

**PrincessPink:** so Team Kitchen is knee deep in flour and stuff so Hunk told me to tell u that the cake is going to be perfect and everything else is coming out great

 **PrincessPink:** I have Shiro and Matt putting up streamers in the kitchen and living room but I also think they got distracted by the confetti so I may have to break them up soon

 **Lancelot(offun):** didn’t they already do that?

 **PrincessPink:** …yeah…

 **Lancelot(offun):** gurl seriously

 **Lancelot(offun):** ASK THEM OUT

 **PrincessPink:** AHHHHHHHHHH

 **PrincessPink:** this is Keith’s day my weird feelings can wait and die in a corner

 **Lancelot(offun):** Hey Allura remember a few weeks ago when I had rainbow puke over the kitchen table?

 **PrincessPink:** wasn’t it that matt called it Unicorn puke?

 **Lancelot(offun):** same deal

 **Lancelot(offun):** but there was something I read in there that I thought of u guys and stuff

 **Lancelot(offun):** It’s in my bookshelf still between the wall and Ready Player One if u want to take a look

 **Lancelot(offun):** Allura u deserve happiness and Matt and Shiro MAKE u happy so GO GET YO MEN

 **PrincessPink:** Ok I’ll take a look

 **PrincessPink:** oh shit but later I just heard a boom and I’m 95% sure those idiots broke something

 **Lancelot(offun):** to quote the person in love with those idiots

 **Lancelot(offun):** “we weren’t getting the deposit back anyway”

**PrincessPink: (** **ノ** **ಠ** **益** **ಠ** **)** **ノ彡** **┻** **━** **┻**

**Lancelot(offun):** ☜(˚▽˚)☞ 

* * *

 

**SUPPORTING KEITH**

**Mulletboi:** FUCK THE EXAM IT’S OVER

 **Hunkahunka:** YAY!!!

 **Matt-o-fact:** so on a scale of one to ten…

 **Mulletboi:** fucking 15

 **Mulletboi:** but u were right the sleep helped thanks guys

 **Mulletboi:** I really appreciate it all today

 **PrincessPink:** AWWW he has feelings!

 **Muletboi:** uhg… so glad to be done

 **Lancelot(offun):** want me to pick u up?

 **Mulletboi:** u don’t have to drive from the house

 **Hunkahunka:** he never came home

 **ShiroGONE:** he’s probably parked outside the building

 **Pidgeot:** WIPPED

 **Mulletboi:** OH MY GODS

**_Mulletboi_ ** _sent one photo_

**Mulletboi:** LANCE WERE U WAITING THE WHOLE TIME???

 **Lancelot(offun):** no way in hell I ran to McDonalds for a soda twenty minutes ago

 **Hunkahunka:** so ten minutes?

 **Lancelot(offun):** yup 

* * *

 

**_Mulletboi_ ** _added **ShiroGONE, Hunkahunka, PrincessPink, Pidgeot, Matt-o-fact, FeShay,** and **Lancelot(offun)** to the chat!_

**_Mulletboi_ ** _renamed the chat **FUCK U SHITS**_

**Pidgeot:** feeling the love

 **Mulletboi:** I CAN’T BELIEVE U FUCKERS THAT WAS THE BEST BIRTHDAY EVER

 **ShiroGONE:** you honestly didn’t think we’d forget did u?

 **Lancelot(offun):** HE forgot his own birthday

**_Lancelot(offun)_ ** _sent 1 photo_

**FeShay:** AWWWW

 **Matt-o-fact:** OMG HE’S ALREADY IN THE SOCKS XD

 **PrincessPink:** Shiro that fuzzy hippo blanket looks so soft I want one

 **Mulletboi:** It’s mine back off

 **Mulletboi:** BUT SERIOUSLY THANK YOU ALL AGAIN

 **Hunkahunka:** we heard u yelling it for an hour

 **Pidgeot:** U deserve it dude happy birthday

 **Mulletboi:** I’m just so emotional thanks guys

 **ShiroGONE:** I think Keith’s just had a ride today so let’s let him sleep

 **Lancelot(offun):** and snuggle with his new favorite plushie?

 **Mulletboi:** AND ANOTHER THING U MOTHER FUCKER HOW THE FUCK DID U MAKE ME A RED KITTEN WITH A BIKER JACKET WHEN I WASN’T LOOKING I NEVER SAW A WIFF OF THIS THING AND WE HANG OUT IN YOUR ROOM ALL THE TIME

 **Lancelot(offun):** years hiding gifts from my sibs :3

 **Mulletboi:** I LOVE IT I LOVE U THANK U SO MCUH LANCE U BEAUTIFUL TALENTED BF

 **Pidgeot:** ok it’s no longer your birthday so I can act normal again

 **Pidgeot:** GET A ROOM

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am convinced that Shiro has all the House medications in a lock box somewhere. He's always had all the general meds - allergy, cold and flu, etc - but he also has the scripts for Broganes and Holts because he doesn't want any of them to be without something important (and it HAS happened).
> 
> Also, Keith has clinical Anxiety/depression and takes daily meds for it as well as an emergency one for when panic attacks get bad. He and Shiro are just two of the housemates who take meds for mental illnesses, but I won't reveal too much yet.
> 
> I'm a big proponent for medication to treat mental illness when coping mechanisms don't. I, myself, have an anxiety/panic disorder compounded with borderline depression, and seeing a therapist and coping mechanisms never really helped. In the long run, seeing a psychiatrist was what got me back on my feet. It's all about brain chemistry, and, remember, if your brain needs it and can't make it, generic brand works, too.
> 
> So people with mental illnesses PLEASE SEE YOUR DOCTORS and talk options. Again, therapy is the first step, but don't rule out medication if it becomes apparent that therapy isn't enough. Talk to your doctors.
> 
> ANYWAY, Keith has achieved +1 passable exam grade and +1 birthday parties so he is HIGH AS A KITE on these emotions so he's a mess but in a good way. Fun fact: Keith never really did plushies as a kid but the ones he has are special to him and he adores them. Lance knew this and figured a hand-made one would be perfect for him. Keith is SERIOUSLY in love with this crafty boy.
> 
> Now that we have this disaster of a Brogane set in his ways, we can get going on the OTHER Brogane, Holt 1.0, and the British Princess' love lives >:)
> 
> Until next time!


	12. Click

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things begin to click into place, but will all the cogs fit together?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAAAAA SO EXCITED

**The Walking Disasters**

**PrincessPink:** Tuesdays suck

 **PrincessPink:** I want to build a pillow fort

 **Matt-o-fact:** why?

 **Matt-o-fact:** usually I’M the one recommending building a pillow fort

 **ShiroGONE:** what’s up Allura?

 **PrincessPink:** IDK

 **PrincessPink:** I’m just feeling very overwhelmed right now

 **PrincessPink:** I’m just getting so much work and exams and TA discussions and grading and all that stuff

 **PrincessPink:** I don’t really feel human and want to block out the world

 **PrincessPink:** IDK I just remember pillow forts always being great

 **PrincessPink:** It’s really childish actually ignore it

 **Matt-o-fact:** Shiro where r u?

 **ShiroGONE:** I’m in the living room stripping the pillows from ever surface but we’re gonna need more

 **Matt-o-fact:** great I’m gonna grab the spare blankets and pillows and be down ASAP

 **ShiroGONE:** Allura when r u gonna be home?

 **PrincessPink:** Guys no I was just being dumb

 **Matt-o-fact:** Your feelings aren’t stupid Allura. U are valid to feel the way u do and let it out. You’re one of our best friends

 **ShiroGONE:** practically family

 **ShiroGONE:** I mean we’ve known each other for a decade. You’ve known Keith almost as long as I’VE known Keith

 **Matt-o-fact:** U helped Pidge so much growing up and even now in this house of testosterone u are super great to her when she needs a female hand

 **ShiroGONE:** You are a great person and we want to make sure that u know u are supported and cared for

**_ShiroGONE_ ** _sent 1 photo_

**ShiroGONE:** now do we add a tower with chairs from the kitchen?

 **PrincessPink:** You two are amazing thank you

 **PrincessPink:** and your atrium is dreadful who even thought to put the beanbags as a support???

 **Matt-o-fact:** they give the entryway a splash of color!

 **PrincessPink:** Uhg u two are dreadful

 **Matt-o-fact:** yeah and u love us anyway

 **PrincessPink:** …

* * *

**_PrincessPink_ ** _to **Lancelot(offun)**_

**PrincessPink:** Lance are u or the other undergrads home?

* * *

**Castle Paladins**

**_Lancelot(offun)_ ** _sent 1 photo_

**Hunkahunka:** I’m at Shay’s

 **Pidgeot:** robotics project at polysci

 **Mulletboi:** sitting next to u

 **Lancelot(offun):** IT WAS FOR EVERYONE ELSE 

* * *

 

**_Lancelot(offun)_ ** _to **PrincessPink**_

**Lancelot(offun):** no why

 **Lancelot(offun):** is something wrong? Why are u just messaging me?

 **PrincessPink:** because I’m about to do something that can’t be interrupted

 **PrincessPink:** Shiro and Matt are making me a pillow fort because it would make me feel better

 **PrincessPink:** and I read that pamphlet u left me and some of the pieces started to come together for me

 **PrincessPink:** and I just realized that I really, really love Shiro and Matt

 **Lancelot(offun):** Allura are u going to sit down and talk to them?

 **PrincessPink:** yeah

 **Lancelot(offun):** not that I’m not super excited for u but what brought this on?

 **PrincessPink:** TBH I haven’t been feeling too great lately

 **PrincessPink:** and…

**_PrincessPink_ ** _sent 5 photos_

**PrincessPink:** I just had this moment

 **Lancelot(offun):** that click?

 **PrincessPink:** YES that’s what it was like

 **Lancelot(offun):** I had that same moment a few times with Keith

 **Lancelot(offun):** like when I finally asked myself why I was always picking fights with a guy who I could have easily been friends with

 **Lancelot(offun):** like behind the broody exterior he’s kind and sweet and smart and it wasn’t like he was going out of his way to cause chaos in my life

 **Lancelot(offun):** and I was just playing with my fidgi pen and doodling and then it like… clicked.

 **Lancelot(offun):** took me until summer to really come to terms with it and ask him out but, with every click, it felt more and more like my whole life was coming together just right

 **PrincessPink:** looking back I think I understand

 **PrincessPink:** there were little clicks along the way but, like, just dating Matt? I loved Matt with all my heart but it was the little moments alone where I felt like something was missing

 **PrincessPink:** Shiro’s accident was the slap that I was still in love with him and even though at first I felt horrible…

 **PrincessPink:** I’m just standing outside the door in the cold and I have this feeling that it could work

 **Lancelot(offun):** do u need anything from us undergrad paladins? One text and we’re there

 **PrincessPink:** do me a favor and go out to dinner tonight. Don’t tell them why in case it ends up changing nothing but… I don’t…

 **Lancelot(offun):** ok

 **Lancelot(offun):** remember, communication is key

 **PrincessPink:** thank you Lance

 **PrincessPink:** *breathe* here I go 

* * *

 

**Castle Paladins**

**Lancelot(offun):** we’re grabbing dinner at chipotle tonight

 **Hunkahunka:** Lance I have lasagna ingredients for tonight

 **Lancelot(offun):** nope no going home Chipotle

 **Pidgeot:** why???

 **Lancelot(offun):** I’ve been entrusted with some serious information that I cannot tell from a certain female roommate who I will not mention by name

 **Lancelot(offun):** and we are not allowed back unless we want to fuck things up

 **Mulletboi:** you don’t mean…

 **Pidgeot:** is this about Allura?

 **Lancelot(offun):** I cannot say I’m sorry but I’ve been sworn in 

* * *

 

**_Mulletboi_ ** _to **ShiroGONE**_

**Mulletboi:** Hey what r u doing?

 **ShiroGONE:** Allura’s had a rough day so… ehehehe… Matt and I built her a pillow fort

 **ShiroGONE:** castle, I guess

 **ShiroGONE:** I’m just getting my sweats on to go watch movies with them when are u guys coming home?

 **Mulletboi:** Oh lance and I are studying late so we may not be in until way later

 **ShiroGONE:** k

 **Mulletboi:** Shiro?

 **ShiroGONE:** yeah?

 **Mulletboi:** ever heard of Polyamory?

 **ShiroGONE:** …yes…? Why do you ask?

 **Mulletboi:** I was just thinking about some things

 **Mulletboi:** mostly scrolling through the internet a lot

 **Mulletboi:** also that u are a good brother and that u deserve love and happiness

 **ShiroGONE:**??? Keith are u ok what’s going on?

 **Mulletboi:** nothing nothing just

 **Mulletboi:** wait

 **Mulletboi:** patience brings focus and reward and blah blah blah

 **ShiroGONE:** hey that’s my line

 **Mulletboi:** yeah and let’s just say I have a feeling that your patience is about to pay off

 **Mulletboi:** don’t do anything stupid

 **Mulletboi:** I gotta go I’ll see you later

 **ShiroGONE:** ok… later Keith 

* * *

 

**The Walking Disasters**

**Matt-o-fact:** allura where’d u go

 **ShiroGONE:** Allura where r u we’re worried

 **PrincessPink:** I’m in my room I’m sorry I just panicked

 **ShiroGONE:** Allura there is nothing to panic about we’re here for u

 **Matt-o-fact:** literally we’re sitting outside your room

 **ShiroGONE:** can we come in?

 **PrincessPink:** no

 **Matt-o-fact:** ok

 **Matt-o-fact:** so u ever heard the one about why the lion had to go to the hospital?

 **Matt-o-fact:** he had to get a CAT scan done

 **ShiroGONE:** I heard giggling

 **PrincessPink:** no way that was AWEFUL

 **ShiroGONE:** I think she means PURRFECT

 **Matt-o-fact:** YEAH BOI

 **Matt-o-fact:** why did our favorite mouse Allura stay inside?

 **ShiroGONE:** let me guess

 **ShiroGONE:** because it was raining cats and dogs?

 **PrincessPink:** It’s not even raining u losers

 **ShiroGONE:** you should hate air travel, Allura, because u have to lug all that luggage around

 **ShiroGONE:** just makes u want to rest your case

 **Matt-o-fact:** that joke was killer

 **Matt-o-fact:** You know what we do with a dead biochemist? We BARIUM

 **ShiroGONE:** I had a pun about Insanity but then I lost it

 **Matt-o-fact:** want to hear a pun about construction? I’m still working on it

 **ShiroGONE:** there’s that beautiful laugh

 **PrincessPink:** Bullshit

 **Matt-o-fact:** as a lawyer, the proper term is “I object”

 **PrincessPink:** why do I love u idiots so much?

 **PrincessPink:** SHIT

 **ShiroGONE:** wait

 **Matt-o-fact:** what

 **PrincessPink:** like platonically

 **PrincessPink:** … no I don’t

 **PrincessPink:** I’m just going to come out and say that I have the biggest crush on my two bestest friends in the world and get it off my chest

 **PrincessPink:** yes u two are reading this right I love you both so much and I don’t mean like a sister I mean if I could kiss u both at the same time I would

 **PrincessPink:** Matt I love the way u goof around and make me laugh even when I’m down and protect me but let me also kick ass and feel powerful

 **PrincesPink:** and shiro I love the way u care so much about everyone and everything and can make a bad day ok and know when to let me go at em and when to get me to stop and sleep and

 **PrincessPink:** I love u guys ok?

 **PrincessPink:** and if u don’t reciprocate I understand but… but I needed to let u two both know

 **PrincessPink:** Matt dating u was some of the greatest time of my life and I felt terrible breaking it off but at the time I realized that I loved Shiro, too, and I didn’t want to be unfair to either of you 

* * *

 

**Shalluratt Plotting Squad**

**Lancelot(offun):** no word yet

 **FeShay:** U guys can come to my place for a bit

 **Hunkahunka:** thanks 

* * *

 

**The Walking Disasters**

**ShiroGONE:** Allura?

 **Matt-o-fact:** Princess?

 **PrincessPink:** sorry about all that again but I guess it’s not going to work?

 **Matt-o-fact:** Ok no

 **ShiroGONE:** Matt and I just… kinda absorbed it

 **ShiroGONE:** and talked

 **Matt-o-fact:** and I spilled my guts and am crying

 **Matt-o-fact:** because I love you two so much it hurts and breaking up with the two of you was the worst thing of my life

 **ShiroGONE:** I FELT TERRIBLE BECAUSE I THOUGHT I WAS BETRAYING YOU TWO

 **ShiroGONE:** I didn’t want to date one and still love the other it made me feel like I was cheating even though I never did

 **PrincessPink:** what are you two saying?

 **ShiroGONE:** well I’m five seconds from breaking the door down to give u and matt the biggest, most muscular hug of your lives

 **Matt-o-fact:** I’m just here needing to get and give hugs SHIRO IS SO TENSE HE NEEDS MORE THAN JUST ME

 **Matt-o-fact:** then can we go back to the living room and talk face to face?

 **Matt-o-fact:** because I think we need to talk

**_PrincessPink_ ** _has gone offline_

* * *

 

**Shalluratt Plotting Squad**

**_Pidgeot_ ** _sent 1 photo_

**FeShay:** operation a success?

 **Lancelot(offun):** we’ll find out when they wake up in the morning but from the looks of it yes

 **Lancelot(offun):** they look so SOFT snuggled up like that under the pillow fort

 **Pidgeot:** FINALLY

 **Pidgeot:** everyone is happily hitched my work here is done

 **Mulletboi:** man this must be the most relaxed I’ve seen Shiro in a while

 **Hunkahunka:** Pidge I know u went upstairs but u do realize that u now live in a house of romantically “hitched” people, right

 **Pidgeot:** … FUCK FUCK FUCK MY MEDDLING BACKFIRED

 **Pidgeot:** YOU ALL BETTER KEEP YOUR GROSS ROMANTICS AWAY FROM ME

 **Mulletboi:** Lance want to cuddle and watch TV?

 **Lancelot(offun):** I’m stealing the hippo blanket from their castle they have enough

 **Mulletboi:** I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND

 **FeShay:** Sorry Pidge u invited us all in

 **Lancelot(offun):** it’s the peanut butter incident all over again :)

 **Mulletboi:** :)

 **Pidgeot:** …

 **Pidgeot:** AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 **Pidgeot:** I’m barricading my door from you goofy lovey dovey heathens

 **Pidgeot:** Rover will protect me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YES COMMUNICATION IS KEY :D
> 
> If you couldn't tell, Shalluratt is #CANNON for this fic now :D However, Pidge has realized ERROR ERROR WHAT THE FUCK HAVE I DONE and brought all these goo-y love-sick losers together in her house GET OUT U HEATHENS LEAVE ME TO MY ROBOTS (but nah she's glad they're all happy) (doesn't mean she won't protest every time tho).
> 
> Until next time!


	13. Halloween Hoes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's HALLOWEEN BITCHES and our motley crew of undergrads and grad students are taking the city by storm! It'll be a day of haunts, sugar highs, and... some other sorts of highs???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY this took so long to post but exams ◉_◉
> 
> BUT ~~DOBBY~~ MAK IS FREE (for a little over a month).

**Supporting Keith**

**_Pidgeot_ ** _renamed the chat **HALLOWEEN HOES**_

**Pidgeot:** Sorry keith we still support you but IT’S HALLOWEEN

 **Lancelot(offun):** oh hell yes I’ve been waiting all semester to show up to class in costume

 **Hunkahunka:** Is everyone doing so?

 **ShiroGONE:** Yes

 **ShiroGONE:** it’s going to be AWESOME

 **PrincessPink:** I’m concerned what are you planning Shiro???

 **Matt-o-fact:** yeah tell ur BF and GF already!

 **Mulletboi:** I still can’t believe u guys are dating

 **Mulletboi:** finally

 **Mulletboi:** it took forever to get that worked out

 **PrincessPink:** hey three people takes three times the amount of time to figure out feelings :P

 **ShiroGONE:** but we got it down now and that’s all that matters

 **Pidgeot:** HEY WHAT ARE U GUYS GOING AS

 **Pidgeot:** because I got the most badass cyborg costume it even lights up

 **Pidgeot:** unlike SOMEONE’S arm

 **ShiroGONE:** well u MENTIONED my arm…

 **ShiroGONE:** I’m going as Frankenstein’s monster

 **ShiroGONE:** Tim Burton Style

 **Matt-o-fact:** OMG are u going to be “losing” your arm all day?

 **ShiroGONE:** I’m gonna freak out everyone

 **Mulletboi:** HOW are u my brother right now

 **Lancelot(offun):** who are u and what have u done with space dad shiro???

 **Mulletboi:** I’m calling clone

 **Hunkahunka:** seconded

 **Lancelot(offun):** Kuron what have u done with shiro???

 **ShiroGONE:** THIS IS MY HOLIDAY U HEATHENS

 **Mulletboi:** I swear I don’t know how u got so attached to today

 **Matt-o-fact:** our first date was on Halloween

 **Hunkahunka:** of course

 **ShiroGONE:** IDK keith ur thing is cryptids let me have mine

 **PrincessPink:** well since costume talk I’m applying my elf ears now :D

 **Lancelot(offun):** ooo need help?

 **PrincessPink:** thanks but I’m good

 **Mulletboi:** I wasn’t going to go as anything but Lance INSISTED that he and I had to go as a pair???

 **Hunkahunka:** I mean Shay and I aren’t

 **Hunkahunka:** she’s going as Vixen from DC

 **Hunkahunka:** Meanwhile I’m going as a ghost

 **PrincessPink:** classic

 **Hunkahunka:** warm

 **Lancelot(offun):** OK MY WITCH’S COSTUME IS PERFECT I’M COMING KEITH

 **ShiroGONE:** wait what could possibly “couple” with witch???

 **Matt-o-fact:** oh I hear screaming so we should find out soon

**_Pidgeot_ ** _sent 1 video_

**Pidgeot:** rare video of cat keith

 **ShiroGONE:** holy fuck why did I leave early???

 **PrincessPink:** GASP

 **Pidgeot:** GASP

 **Lancelot(offun):** LANGUAGE

 **Mulletboi:** FUCK U LANCE

 **PrincessPink:** BUT YOU TWO LOOK ADORABLE

 **Lancelot(offun):** I didn’t even DO much he was already wearing the black top and pants I just added the ears and tail

 **Lancelot(offun):** I just have to do his make-up and then we’re set!

 **Mulletboi:** u better not make me look like an idiot

 **Lancelot(offun):** please like I’d do that to u babe

 **Hunkahunka:** well hurry up we gotta go 

* * *

 

**FUCK U SHITS**

**_Lancelot(offun)_ ** _renamed the chat **We’re All In This Together**_

**_Lancelot(offun)_ ** _sent 6 pictures_

**Lancelot(offun):** Thace is a fucking James Bond I SWEAR BEST TEACHER EVER

 **FeShay:** AHHHH I LOVE THE GROUP SHOT U GOT MY GOOD SIDE

 **Hunkahunka:** Shay ALL your sides are GREAT sides :D

 **PrincessPink:** AWW LOOK AT THE LITTLE UNDERGRADS

 **PrincessPink:** also where did u get that necklace Shay it’s GORGEOUS

 **FeShay:** My aunt is an artist who deals in rock art and sculptures

 **FeShay:** she gave this to me as a birthday present one year and I SWEAR WHEN I SAW IT ON TV I TRIED TO SUMMON A PANTHER

 **Pidgeot:** we all would Shay

 **Matt-o-fact:** tru story when we oldies were in HS we were doing a project and it was STORMING and there was, like, a flash of lighting??? Like then I blacked out and woke up in the nurses’ office I SWORE I WAS THE FLASH MY WHOLE BODY FELT ON FIRE

 **ShiroGONE:** Matt, apparently, was so low on blood sugar and water he was delirious and passed out because we were working with chemicals and fumes

 **Mulletboi:** How are u a scientist when all I hear is u destroying science???

 **Matt-o-fact:** Mad scientist duh

 **Matt-o-fact:** my students are SO LAME only ONE girl came as a witch today

 **PrincessPink:** In their defense isn’t it safer to science lab with proper clothing?

 **Matt-o-fact:** That’s why u gotta come prepared

 **Pidgeot:** dressed as batman?

 **Matt-o-fact:** U can’t get more prepared than batman

 **Lancelot(offun):** point

 **FeShay:** is the girl safe wearing the outfit? It’s not a “sexy” one, is it?

 **Matt-o-fact:** Nah this one I know won’t start a fire she’s one of the few decent students in this class. Her partner, however, looks like he’s not participating AT ALL and is falling asleep???

 **ShiroGONE:** Should u check on them?

 **Matt-o-fact:** I will

 **Matt-o-fact:** in five minutes

 **Pidgeot:** is this the same class that was set on fire a few months ago?

 **Matt-o-fact:** that was my OTHER discussion

 **Pidgeot:** oh SO-RRY for not having it perfectly

 **Pidgeot:** but I’m feeling left out so here’s me and Beezer are the robot pack over here

**_Pidgeot_ ** _sent 1 photo_

**Pidgeot:** They came as R2D2 so they have officially made “friend” status

 **Hunkahunka:** “ACHEIVEMENT +1 FRIEND!”

 **Pidgeot:** yeah yeah nerd out about it but Beezer’s chill

 **Pidgeot:** but yeah otherwise only two guys showed up in unicorn onsies

 **Lancelot(offun):** well OUR class is awesome :D

 **Lancelot(offun):** we have this group of friends that always sits in the sixth row and they came in as Mystery Inc

 **ShiroGONE:** That’s a decent one

 **Mulletboi:** shiro there’s six of them

 **Lancelot(offun):** one of them is wearing a box on two strings decked out to be all funky and his shirt says “mystery machine”

 **Lancelot(offun):** also the guys came as Daph and Velma and the girls came as the boys and scoob it’s kind of trippy

 **FeShay:** that or this experiment with all the lights

 **FeShay:** Thace loves Halloween demos so much

 **ShiroGONE:** LOVE THAT MAN

 **Matt-o-fact:** uh HELLO

 **ShiroGONE:** LOVE THAT MAN*

 **ShiroGONE:** *as a mentor and friend

 **PrincessPink:** <3

 **Matt-o-fact:** <3

 **Pidgeot:** uhg feelings

 **Pidgeot:** it’s just u and me, coding and candy 

* * *

 

**Castle Paladins**

**Mulletboi:** what are WE doing tonight???

 **Hunkahunka:** IDK??? It’s Tuesday??? Studying???

 **Lancelot(offun):** HAHAHAHA no

 **Pidgeot:** It’s Halloween the cryptids and creatures of the night are out

 **Hunkahunka:** remember the LAST time we went hunting???

 **Hunkahunka:** I do NOT need another sprained ankle and poison ivy rash

 **Lancelot(offun):** no way guys it’s HALLOWEEN it’s PARTY NIGHT

 **Lancelot(offun):** we could crash that party the grad trio went to

 **Mulletboi:** don’t bother it’s at a frat and it’s invite only unless u bring booze

 **Pidgeot:** I have a fake ID

 **Lancelot(offun):** O.O

 **Hunkahunka:** THAT’S ILLEGAL

 **Mulletboi:** how come I’ve never seen it???

 **Pidgeot:** honestly it’s not that hard to make with the right tech

 **Pidgeot:** I made it to get into R rated movies when I was fifteen

 **Pidgeot:** ah fuck nvm this one says I’m still 19 and I can’t find the 22 one

 **Lancelot(offun):** Can u make me one?

 **Hunkahunka:** LANCE THAT’S ILLEGAL

 **Lancelot(offun):** I CAN GET GOOD WINE AT HOME I JUST WANT TO PARTY

 **Pidgeot:** yeah but I don’t have the right plastic cards rn so u’d get it later

 **Lancelot(offun):** drat

 **Mulletboi:** wait ur parents let u drink???

 **Lancelot(offun):** Cuban??? U get handed ur first half-glass of alcohol by the time ur sixteen and work ur way up

 **Hunkahunka:** my mom is Italian and does the same thing with me

 **Hunkahunka:** even tho tina wasn’t all for it at first

 **Lancelot(offun):** it’s part tradition and part “we don’t want u to go to college and get smashed because u never had alcohol and went overboard” so family events were testing grounds

 **Pidgeot:** is Shay coming so I don’t have to be the only girl in this?

 **Hunkahunka:** nope she’s got family in the area and is taking her cousins trick-o-treating

 **Lancelot(offun):** I miss being home I took Mateo and Maria trick-or-treating and we HAULED candy

 **Mulletboi:** u guys are making me hungry with all this food talk

 **Hunkahunka:** there is one other option

 **Mulletboi:** at this point we need ALL the options

 **Hunkahunka:** are u all still in costume?

 **Pidgeot:** mostly

 **Lancelot(offun):** duh

 **Mulletboi:** no

 **Lancelot(offun):** I can fix him in five minutes what are u thinking?

 **Hunkahunka:** A friend told me that Chipotle does 3 dollar burritos on Halloween to people in costume

 **Pidgeot:** WHY DIDN’T U START WITH THAT

 **Mulletboi:** Lance get up here and fix my fucking whiskers

 **Lancelot(offun):** HUNK GET YO SHEET WE’RE GETTING BURRITOS

* * *

**Halloween Hoes**

**_PrincessPink_ ** _sent 20 pictures_

**PrincessPink:** Nobody parties like a grad student party

 **Matt-o-fact:** Batman, Frankenstein’s Monster, and an Elf Princess walk into a bar

 **Lancelot(offun):** how was the party?

 **ShiroGONE:** amazing

 **Matt-o-fact:** they converted their yard into a haunted house it was awesome

 **PrincessPink:** we left though when the smell of weed got to be a bit much

 **ShiroGONE:** hate the smell of that stuff

 **Matt-o-fact:** nobody touch the brownies in the upper pantry

 **Hunkahunka:** why

 **Matt-o-fact:** I just remembered those are my SPECIAL brownies

 **Mulletboi:** oh shit

 **Mulletboi:** Pidge was rifling in the cabinet earlier and we haven’t seen her in hours

 **Lancelot(offun):** she ate a burrito AND WENT FOR MORE???

 **Hunkahunka:** people think I’m the big eater but it’s pidge

 **Mulletboi:** Pidge? PIDGE???

 **Mulletboi:** I’m gonna go check her room Lance meet me there

 **Matt-o-fact:** SHHHHIIIIITTT MOM AND DAD ARE GONNA KILL ME IF THEY FIND OUT

 **ShiroGONE:** how could u FORGET where u put POT brownies???

 **PrincessPink:** how did u even GET them???

 **Matt-o-fact:** I got them from some dude at the chem department around midterms because ANXIETY

 **Matt-o-fact:** I literally ate half of one just to try it and put them away and I just forgot about them

 **Mulletboi:** update we’re at Pidge’s nest but she’s not answering and the door is locked

 **Mulletboi:** lance is picking the lock

 **Mulletboi:** OK WE’RE IN

 **Hunkahunka:** I’m grabbing the first aid kit

 **Lancelot(offun):** Oh thank god

**_Lancelot(offun)_ ** _sent 1 picture_

**Lancelot(offun):** Pidge is in the nest with her headphones on and sleeping

 **Mulletboi:** no brownies but an empty bag of doritos

 **Matt-o-fact:** OH THANK RA

 **ShiroGONE:** Matt I love u but put the pot brownies ELSEWHERE

 **ShiroGONE:** also if your anxiety is spiked PLEASE come to one of us

 **PrincessPink:** same here we’re here for u honey

 **Matt-o-fact:** actually part of the reason for brownies was because I was freaking ABOUT u two so I’ll toss them ASAP

 **Mulletboi:** well this has been a great night

 **Lancelot(offun):** I’m following Pidge into a food coma don’t wake us when u get in

 **Hunkahunka:** I’m gonna be up a little longer because of this paper due

 **Lancelot(offun):** what paper???

 **Hunkahunka:** it’s for my ethics class

 **Lancelot(offun):** oh thank quiznack I thought for a sec it was for a class we shared

 **Mulletboi:** I’m going to go out to the roof to see if I can spot any unusual creatures

 **Mulletboi:** since SOME PEOPLE won’t let me go into the woods

 **ShiroGONE:** I’ll come get u when we get in

 **PrincessPink:** Matt’s a little tipsy so we’re grabbing food and a cab. Be back in about an hour!

 **Matt-o-fact:** I am not but HAPPY HALLOWEEN U HOES

* * *

 

**_Pidgeot_ ** _to **Matt-o-fact**_

**Pidgeot:** U HAVE POT BROWNIES AND THOUGHT U POISONED ME

 **Pidgeot:** I could have DIED

 **Pidgeot:** I mean that’s how weed works right? I don’t actually remember high school health just that drugs are bad

 **Matt-o-fact:** SHHHH It’s late I’m sleeping goodnight not high sister

 **Pidgeot:** ur so lucky I was feeling salty and not sweet

 **Matt-o-fact:** ur always salty

 **Pidgeot:** I mean true

* * *

 

**Halloween Hoes**

**_Lancelot(offun)_ ** _renamed the chat **½ off candy!**_

**Lancelot(offun):** we raid the stores at high noon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MUHAHAHA Yeah I debated making Pidge High but we really don't need to see Pidge High. Remember, don't do drugs kids. Unless you are taking the correct dosage for your body and/or prescribed by a trained professional.
> 
> Because death.
> 
> (Maybe. I don't remember much about HS health class XD)
> 
> Also yes I was totally humming HS musical when naming the chat DON'T JUDGE ME HEATHENS.
> 
> Until next time!


	14. From One Holiday to Another

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time just seems to fly because one minute Lance is applying face make-up and the next the Paladins are scrambling to get organized for Thanksgiving. But one undergrad might not have the greatest of holidays this season if not for a special someone...
> 
> Also plotting. So much plotting and flaunting of BFs and GFs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Truth be told I wrote this at Thanksgiving XD Also, PIE

**½ off candy!**

**_Lancelot(offun)_ ** _renamed the chat **Where Did November Go???**_

**Pidgeot:** Did u just realize next week is Thanksgiving?

 **Lancelot(offun):** yup

 **Lancelot(offun):** my prof’s like “blah blah blah EXAM blah” and I had to double check the schedule because I thought the exam was the Monday before thanksgiving and HEY THAT’S THIS COMING MONDAY

 **Mulletboi:** is this a good scenario or…?

 **Lancelot(offun):** PFT it’s my pilates class I’m so flexible and limber as is the only way I could fail is if I straight up tried to

 **Pidgeot:** I still can’t believe we have pilates as a fucking class for credit

 **Lancelot(offun):** it counts towards “general credits” and I was short two this semester I am not complaining

 **Lancelot(offun):** also I’m the only guy in class if I wasn’t taken I’d be in HEAVEN right now

 **Lancelot(offun):** but I am taken and in Heaven just thinking of him :D

 **Mulletboi:** <3

 **Matt-o-fact:** some people would be concerned about their significant other(s) spending copious amounts of time with people of the opposite gender but here at the Castle of Lions we are not jealous idiots

 **PrincessPink:** amen for that

 **ShiroGONE:** communication is key

 **Mulletboi:** says the guy who never bothered to ask if I had a crush on my boyfriend before deciding to lock me in a closet with him

 **Matt-o-fact:** THAT WAS MONTHS AGO

 **Lancelot(offun):** NEVER GONNA GIVE IT UP

 **Pidgeot:** what are u guys doing for thanksgiving?

 **PrincessPink:** nice transition

 **Pidgeot:** I was hitting my limit on the romantics so Thanksgiving

 **Pidgeot:** It’s kind of a bogus holiday because settlers taking native lands but I’ll take any days off that I can

 **Lancelot(offun):** seconded

 **PrincessPink:** Coran and I are flying out to New York Wednesday to meet up with my father. He’s there on business and couldn’t come home, so we’re going to him :D

 **Matt-o-fact:** Pidge we’re doing the same thing as last year – driving home with the Broganes Wednesday afternoon

 **Mulletboi:** Pidge what should we watch on the car ride?

 **Pidgeot:** Buzzfeed unsolved duh

 **Pidgeot:** because they’re either awesome or so off it’s hilarious

 **ShiroGONE:** Lance, Hunk?

 **Hunkahunka:** My sister is hosting Thanksgiving at her new place this year

 **Lancelot(offun):** Where is Natia living now???

 **Hunkahunka:** she was relocated to the Twin Cities so I can get a bus ticket

 **Matt-o-fact:** just make sure to bring something to do that ride is LONG

 **Hunkahunka:** I’ve got a new TV show Netflix suggested to me so I can try that out if I get really bored I can always do the homework

 **Matt-o-fact:** you would have to be near death to do break homework on the first day of break

 **ShiroGONE:** Lance?

 **Lancelot(offun):** already planning Black Friday >:)

 **Lancelot(offun):** back off soccer moms Lancy needs a new game system

 **PrincessPink:** and new Wii remotes?

 **Pidgeot:** like four?

 **Matt-o-fact:** how the FUCK do these keep breaking????

 **Hunkahunka:** klance

 **ShiroGONE:** klance

 **PrincessPink:** Klance

 **Matt-o-fact:** right stupid question

 **Mulletboi:** y’all SUCK

 **Lancelot(offun):** ur just jelly u can’t keep up with the power couple of this house

 **Matt-o-fact:** I have a boyfriend and a girlfriend so by default that makes us the more powerful couple by the numbers

 **Lancelot(offun):** point out to me where, exactly, that fact is

 **Matt-o-fact:** it’s a law ask a lawyer

 **PrincessPink:** Law makes yes

 **Hunkahunka:** now wait a minute Shay and I are obviously the best couple

 **Pidgeot:** elaborate

 **Lancelot(offun):** hunk throwing his hat into the ring

 **Hunkahunka:** Shay and I are obviously the cutest and can cook like ACTUAL people

 **Lancelot(offun):** ok point because Shay’s veggie burgers make me reconsider my meaty life BUT Keith and I are the superior couple because in a Zombie apocalypse we’d out survive all of you in style with Keith’s mad sword skills and my shooting

 **ShiroGONE:** in WHAT scenario now???

 **Matt-o-fact:** Like that would EVER happen

 **PrincessPink:** this question MUST be answered – who is the power couple of this Castle

 **Pidgeot:** why do I feel digital eyes on me

 **Mulletboi:** ur our judge

 **Lancelot(offun):** Our ACE in the hole

 **Pidgeot:** disqualified

 **Lancelot(offun):** DON’T DO THIS TO YOUR FELLOW ACE

 **PrincessPink:** Lance aren’t you bi?

 **Lancelot(offun):** Biromantic asexual/demisexual IDK sex isn’t really a thing but I’m not, like, repulsed by it

 **Lancelot(offun):** I can’t believe I haven’t said anything to u guys

 **Mulletboi:** I can’t believe u haven’t made a pun about it yet

 **Hunkahunka:** oh he’s made plenty of Ace puns but the ones anyone notices are directed at Pidge

 **PrincessPink:** Hunk u knew?

 **Hunkahunka:** Yes??? Best friend for HOW long with this bean pole???

 **Pidgeot:** I CAN’T BELIEVE I HAD A FELLOW ACE AND HAVE BEEN STANDING ALONE HERE

 **ShiroGONE:** Lance join me on Team Demisexual

 **ShiroGONE:** JOIN ME

 **Pidgeot:** Uhg I can’t disqualify a fellow ace so Lance has used his one save

 **Lancelot(offun):** FUCK YEAH

 **PrincessPink:** don’t you mean fuck no?

 **Lancelot(offun):** GASP

 **Lancelot(offun):** PUN TURNED ON ME

 **Pidgeot:** Shalluratt is disqualified

 **Matt-o-fact:** Oh lovely sister of mine~~~

 **Pidgeot:** this hellscape has no love for you, you weeb

 **ShiroGONE:** Can I use ace spectrum card?

 **Pidgeot:** …

 **Pidgeot:** uhg FINE Shalluratt has used its one save

 **Pidgeot:** hunk are you going to get disqualified too?

 **Hunkahunka:** nah I’m good plus I don’t think I could scrape together an “ace” save

 **Lancelot(offun):** I mean u could bribe her with cookies

 **Hunkahunka:** bribery is for when the competition begins

 **Pidgeot:** so what I have a contest of the couples? Fine I’ll think up of some shit

 **Pidgeot:** nothing too insane because we have fucking finals after exams then the holidays… hm…

 **Matt-o-fact:** Pidgy has a plan?

 **Pidgeot:** Just a few ideas came to mind that require little work from me and could judge couply-ness 

* * *

 

**_Hunkahunka_ ** _to **Pidgeot**_

**Hunkahunka:** I’ll make u a personal batch of peanut butter cookies if u guarantee wins for me and Shay

 **Pidgeot:** I literally said I had ideas five minutes ago

 **Pidgeot:** and you’re already bribing me

 **Pidgeot:** make it two and u got yourself a deal 

* * *

 

**_Mulletboi_ ** _to **Lancelot(offun)**_

**Mulletboi:** so I’m looking over the chat and realizing that you never said what you were doing for thanksgiving

 **Mulletboi:** Lance pick up the phone I know u always have it on you

 **Lancelot(offun):** …

 **Lancelot(offun):** I guess I’m staying here this year

 **Mulletboi:** what?

 **Lancelot(offun):** I’m saving my miles because my family is going to Cuba at Christmas so I figured I’d just cook food with Hunk like we did last year

 **Lancelot(offun):** But I guess I forgot that his sister moved so he’s going to her

 **Lancelot(offun):** I don’t want to bring down yours or anyone else’s break so it’s ok I’ll just hang here and paint my nails and order take-out

 **Mulletboi:** no, no way

 **Mulletboi:** I am not leaving you here to be depressed and alone

 **Mulletboi:** it may be a bogus holiday but it’s a holiday and you spend that with people u care for

 **Mulletboi:** you are a wonderful person who doesn’t deserve to be alone at the holidays

 **Lancelot(offun):** I seriously do not want to intrude I don’t want to be a bother to you guys

 **Lancelot(offun):** It’s a FAMILY day go spend it with them I don’t want you here because of me that’s not fair to you

 **Lancelot(offun):** seriously I’m fine on my own it’s just a couple of days

 **Lancelot(offun):** and it’d be rude of me to just drop in on family time

 **Mulletboi:** yeah well guess what? You’re my boyfriend, and I think it’s high time I introduce you to the parents

 **Lancelot(offun):** wait what

 **Mulletboi:** you read that right

 **Mulletboi:** Meet. My. Awesome. Adoptive. Parents. I’m not taking no for an answer.

 **Mulletboi:** In fact I’m texting Shiro, my mom, and my dad now I’m telling them I’m bringing my boyfriend

 **Mulletboi:** wow my mom got back fast she’s super excited to meet you

 **Mulletboi:** are you seriously going to hurt mama Shirogane’s feelings now???

 **Lancelot(offun):** are you telling me that if I don’t come I’m going to be disappointing the wonderful person who helped raise you, therefore forcing me to be a good boyfriend and present myself at Thanksgiving???

 **Lancelot(offun):** you sly ass mother fucker

 **Mulletboi:** so are you coming with or am I going to have to hog tie you and throw you in with the luggage

 **Lancelot(offun):** is it SERIOUSLY ok?

 **Mulletboi:** oh look it’s dad he said “bring back two we have way too much stuffing for four people”

 **Lancelot(offun):** Now you’re just making things up because u know I love stuffing

**_Mulletboi_ ** _sent 1 photo_

**Mulletboi:** dad never lies about food

 **Mulletboi:** oh and that’s Shiro he’s with Matt and Allura and Matt’s texting Pidge so yeah you’re coming

 **Lancelot(offun):** omg ur gonna make me cry

 **Lancelot(offun):** can I at least bring something? A gift? I feel like I should since you guys are putting me up

 **Lancelot(offun):** PLEASE???

 **Lancelot(offun):** I make a mean pumpkin pie

 **Mulletboi:** Acceptable terms. Mom buys the pie usually but I GUESS we can defer to Hunk’s expertise

 **Lancelot(offun):** HEY I will be doing this on my own thank you

 **Mulletboi:** and who TAUGHT u???

 **Lancelot(offun):** …

 **Lancelot(offun):** you fucker

 **Lancelot(offun):** but you are the best, most brilliant boyfriend a disaster of a human being like myself could only dream of having :)

 **Mulletboi:** no I’M the human disaster if it wasn’t for you being so patient and supportive and just so… you, I’d be a BIGGER disaster then I already am

 **Mulletboi:** Like all that you’ve done the last few weeks with exams and papers and running me snacks and coffee you are an angel I don’t deserve

 **Lancelot(offun):** are you kidding me? There have been SO many times were I was on the edge of just losing it and there u are just suddenly in my doorway with hot chocolate or snacks or something I didn’t realize I needed and just offering to sit and talk or read and let me in close even though you value your space

 **Mulletboi:** yeah but I only get freaked out about people in my space when I don’t know all their motives but YOU I know have the kindest heart around

 **Mulletboi:** your only ulterior motive is to make OTHERS happy you selfless asshole and, if you were a star in the night sky, you’d burn so bright all the other stars would be muted by your glory

 **Lancelot(offun):** fick y ou I lov n hat mushy romantic keith where’s my blunt ass bf

 **Mulletboi:** oh I’m still being blunt as fuck I only speak the truth

 **Mulletboi:** do you need anything? I’m almost home from class

 **Lancelot(offun):** I’m here in my room studying but I could use some snuggles, maybe nail painting

 **Mulletboi:** u got my color?

 **Lancelot(offun):** I got ALL the colors but yes I got your fav red for my fav red kitten

 **Lancelot(offun):** want to do something romantic? Let me paint one nail on each hand my blue and then I’ll do the same on mine with your red

 **Mulletboi:** U mother fucker that’s so fucking ridiculous

 **Mulletboi:** Sign me the fuck up we gotta beat those assholes who think that they’re the better couples 

* * *

 

**We’re All In this Together**

**Hunkahunka:** hey shay and I just walked in where is everyone?

 **Pidgeot:** help I got captured

 **FeShay:**???

**_Lancelot(offun)_ ** _sent 5 photos_

**Lancelot(offun):** we captured a wild and stressed Pidgeot and are painting her nails

 **Mulletboi:** Lance has been on a nail streak for the last hour if u can tell

 **FeShay:** omg r u guys complimenting???

 **Lancelot(offun):** fuck yes

 **Pidgeot:** I wanted nothing to do with these idiots but Lance gives a MEAN hand massage

 **Mulletboi:** preach

 **Pidgeot:** so I went light green to be as far away from these idiots as possible

 **FeShay:** Can we join u guys?

 **Lancelot(offun):** you can’t steal our complimentary idea it’s OUR cute couply thing

 **Mulletboi: *** nods*

 **FeShay:** I just want nails it’s SO MUCH FUN to do with others

 **Hunkahunka:** we have cookies

 **Pidgeot:** U’ve been home for five minutes there is no way in hell u made cookies that fast

 **Hunkahunka:** I keep a secret stash

**_FeShay_ ** _sent 1 photo_

**FeShay:** oh those DO look good

 **FeShay:** we COULD just eat them on our own…

 **Mulletboi:** get your asses up here with the cookies so Lance stops yelling gawddamnit

 **FeShay:** we’re coming!

* * *

 

**_Lance McClain @lancelot(offun)_ **

**_Attached one photo_ **

_BF and I did each other’s nails :D We complete each other <3_

****

**_Lance McClain @lancelot(offun)_ **

**_Attached one photo_ **

_We begin to amass an army of painted nails XD_

* * *

 

**We’re All in this Together**

**PrincessPink:** you guys are doing cute nails without me????

 **Mulletboi:** well it was just going to be me and Lance but then we started to form a cult

 **Lancelot(offun):** all hail sapphire blue number five

 **Pidgeot:** I got captured by these idiots

 **Pidgeot:** but hunk brought cookies so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **Lanelot(offun):** Hunk and Shay can’t really type because of their nails drying but they’re reading in

 **Matt-o-fact:** I just saw the nail art on Twitter WTF that’s adorable

 **Matt-o-fact:** flipped colors on the ring finger???

 **Lancelot(offun):** we had youtube videos in the background and one was like “the reason people wear ring on fourth finger is because it was believed to go to the heart directly” and he’s my heart <3

 **Mulletboi:** aren’t u glad now that I suggested videos over music?

 **Lancelot(offun):** in this one instant it has been confirmed that Keith’s infographic shows were super adorable but jamming to Mariah would have been just as awesome

 **ShiroGONE:** Allura are u almost at the astro building Slav has REALLY killed me today I might need one of your knives keith for myself

 **PrincessPink:** Do u have Pink, purple, and dark green?

 **Mulletboi:** his selection of paint is as gay as I am

 **Lancelot(offun):** hold the phone what are u bringing to the party?

 **Matt-o-fact:** my charming personality

 **Pidgeot:** denied

 **Matt-o-fact:** 2 liters of diet coke and some solo cups

 **Pidgeot:** and…?

 **Matt-o-fact:** and a big bottle of Snapple

 **Lancelot(offun):** offer accepted enter at your own risk

 **Matt-o-fact:** ok I’m gonna get the stuff and be home in five TAKE CARE OF MY TAKASHI AND ALLURA

 **PrincessPink:** Shiro put his phone away but he’s a mess and needs pampering STAT

 **Mulletboi:** I just found glow-in-the-dark purple nail polish

 **Lancelot(offun):** …

 **Pidgeot:** …

 **PrincessPink:** …

 **Matt-o-fact:** don’t tell shiro until it’s too late

 **Pidgeot:** HE SAID WE’D NEVER MAKE HIS ARM LIGHT UP BUT HE WILL FALL

 **Lancelot(offun):** I got sticky nails to put over the metal so it doesn’t damage his arm and we can paint those

 **PrincessPink:** done we’re doing it 

* * *

 

 

**_Allura Altea @PrincessPink_ **

**_Attached 1 photo_ **

_Drowsy BF agreed to nail polish but we added a little surprise >:)_

**_Coran Smythe @CoranSmythePhD_ **

_@PrincessPink @lancelot(offun) oh that looks like lots of fun! Say hello to everyone for me!_

**_Allura Altea @PrincesPink_ **

**_Attached 1 photo_ **

_He just realized they glow in the dark. Good thing he loves me or else X.X_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shiro thought he'd never see his arm alight BUT HIS BF AND GF AND FAMILY ARE SNEAKY AS HELL
> 
> (He secretly loves them tho and is so sad when nails start chipping)
> 
> ANYWAY yes, Lance was the one left out, but it's a good thing Keith is a good BF and is slightly less oblivious, especially when it comes to the feelings of people he loves. It's going to be an interesting Thanksgiving, to say the least XD
> 
> For whoever is interested, yes, as a college student, I have taken pilates as credit towards my biochem major XD. My teacher was AMAZING tho, and I seriously loved that class. Gave me the perfect balance of "need to ace this class" perfectionism and "OMG STRETCHES AND LAYING ON MATS" kind of relaxation I needed.
> 
> HEHE and yes Lance is Biromantic asexual/demisexual IDK he hasn't figured it all out yet. I think I mentioned this earlier but it's always fun to do mini reveals and suck :D
> 
> Also, hell yes Hunk bribing the judge. I can't wait for the holiday "couple's" competition to begin >:)
> 
> Until next time!


	15. All Aboard for Thanksgiving Disaster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THANKSGIVING HAS ARRIVED!!! Will everyone make it to their destinations in one piece or will Shiro FINALLY kill one of these children ("you are the reason for my white hairs" shiro says as he looks at his housemates)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehe let the show begin!

**_ShiroGONE_ ** _added **Matt-o-fact, Mulletboi, Pidgeot,** and **Lancelot(offun)** to the chat!_

**_ShiroGONE_ ** _renamed the chat **Thanksgiving Preppers**_

**ShiroGONE:** we are about 24 hours out is everyone on track to leave on time?

 **ShiroGONE:** because we need to load, get gas, drive, drop off holts, and THEN go home.

 **Matt-o-fact:** u make it sound like it’s a production but we live an hour-ish away shiro it’s not dooms day if we don’t get everything done EXACTLY on time

 **ShiroGONE:** I’m cautious last time we really threw caution to the wind u, me, and Allura were stranded out on the highway in corn land

 **Matt-o-fact:** and thankfully the corn man was able to save us with his skills of calling AAA for us then driving us the rest of the way

 **Pidgeot:** yeah well no Coran this year so I’m on team Shiro

 **Matt-o-fact:** GASP betrayed by my own sister???

 **Lancelot(offun):** they’re hosting me so I’m also Brogane squad

 **Mulletboi:** the sooner Im home the sooner Lance lets me at those pies

 **Lancelot(offun):** they are for THANKSGIVING

 **ShiroGONE:** wait how many did u make???

 **Lancelot(offun):** well I was going to do just one but then I decided to add one for the Holts because Gremlin here and the memelord are great and letting me tag along for the ride

 **Lancelot(offun):** I made a small one for Coran and Allura and her dad

 **Lancelot(offun):** then I had enough supplies leftover to make a mini for hunk for the ride home

 **Matt-o-fact:** no wonder everything smells so amazing seriously I can smell it from my room

 **Pidgeot:** I need to be home to see these things of glory

 **ShiroGONE:** Ok as long as everything is on track then we’re good

* * *

 

**_PrincessPink_ ** _added **CorantheMustacheMan** and **Alforyou** to the chat!_

**_PrincessPink_ ** _renamed the chat **NYC Thanksgiving Bonanza!**_

**PrincessPink** : father are you ready for us because we are almost at the airport :D

 **Alforyou:** of course darling! Sorry again that we couldn’t have dinner at home this year as usual, but these executives don’t really seem to care about national holidays

 **PrincessPink:** no worries, father! I’m just happy to see you :)

 **CorantheMustacheMan:** found a parking spot! Hello Alfor!

 **Alforyou:** Coran! Great to hear from you. Classes going well?

 **CorantheMustacheMan:** as well as can be hoped! You?

 **Alforyou:** well, you know, business politics T.T

 **PrincessPink:** VERY mature, father

 **Alforyou:** here don’t let me distract you two. Text me from your gate but if not I’ll see you at LGA in a few hours! Also, I hope u brought your jackets. It’s chilly here.

 **CorantheMustacheMan:** I packed two just in case! 

* * *

 

**Where Did November Go???**

**PrincessPink:** Hey guys last text from the Smythe/Altea Team until we land in NYC! Any last words to Coran and me?

 **Lancelot(offun):** BRING US HAMILTON BACK FROM NEW YORK

 **ShiroGONE:** love u, Princess! Have a great trip!

 **Matt-o-fact:** <3333

 **Pidgeot:** why couldn’t u have taken them with u???

 **PrincessPink:** couldn’t fit them in the suitcase :C

 **Mulletboi:** why didn’t u take Pidge then? She fits in the vents she can fit into a bag

 **Pidgeot:** yeah why didn’t u take ME???

 **PrincessPink:** oh would u look at that they’re having us put our phones on airplane mode BUH BYE

 **Pidgeot:** Allura WHY DIDN’T U TAKE ME TO HAMILTON???

 **Hunkahunka:** wait twenty minutes knowing Allura she’ll get inflight internet

 **Matt-o-fact:** I ALREADY MISS HER

 **Pidgeot:** oh just hug ur boyfriend

 **ShiroGONE:** speaking of trips WHERE ARE U GUYS WE NEED TO LOAD UP AND GO

 **Hunkahunka:** Lance, Shay, Rax, and I are at the bus depot

 **Lancelot(offun):** making sure my bestie doesn’t get killed by gf’s bro but Shay so doing pretty well herself

 **Pidgeot:** are u guys on the same bus???

 **Hunkahunka:** no but our buses leave close to one another

 **Hunkahunka:** I’m not sure I love or hate this because I’d love to cuddle Shay the whole ride but Rax would also murder me

 **Mulletboi:** I have a knife u could borrow

 **Lancelot(offun):** u mean several

 **Mulletboi:** well really I only have one because u need the right design to fit your grip and fighting style

 **Hunkahunka:** I don’t HAVE a style???

 **Hunkahunka:** I’m a pacifist???

 **Mulletboi:** believe me when I say that you ALL have a default style that just needs to be honed

 **Lancelot(offun):** I mean maybe we should Keith taught me how to get out of a grip and how to toss a person who’s trying to punch me

 **Lancelot(offun):** hurt a SHIT ton but it was SO great when I got it

 **Mulletboi:** always good to know how to defend one’s self

 **ShiroGONE:** I am concerned

 **Lancelot(offun):** there’s a room in kines that’s padded and has a lot of practice gear

 **Pidgeot:** hm… if only we knew someone who worked in the department…

 **Mulletboi:** Hm… if only we knew the HEAD of the department…

 **Matt-o-fact:** they do have a point

 **Matt-o-fact:** I mean the two of us were in Karate together in HS

 **ShiroGONE:** uhg fine. IF we get Coran to over watch it then at least we also have a certified first responder if something goes wrong

 **ShiroGONE:** and knowing my kids it will

 **Hunkahunka:** I’m on the bus! BYE GUYS!!! 

* * *

 

**Thanksgiving Preppers**

**Lancelot(offun):** I’m headed back to the castle but I’m stopping at the store first

 **ShiroGONE:** we need to get on the road???

 **Lancelot(offun):** I’m getting important snack things and my pies need another 20 minutes to chill so WHAT DO YOU LOSERS WANT???

 **Pidgeot:** 6p of snapple and doritos

 **Matt-o-fact:** get me some m&ms

 **Mulletboi:** the usual

 **Lancelot(offun):** spicy chetoes and diet coke? Along with some dark chocolate?

 **Mulletboi:** man after my own heart

 **Lancelot(offun):** I got chu boi <3

 **Mulletboi:** <3

 **Pidgeot:** uhg if u guys are this gross on the ride I’m opening the door and booting u out on open highway

 **Mulletboi:** no force on earth is going to stop us from binging unsolved

 **Lancelot(offun):** I’ve agreed to limit it to snuggling up to my boyfriend’s side in exchange for also watching game theory

 **Matt-o-fact:** why the hell are u talking about when r u into economics

 **Lancelot(offun):** GASP I would NEVER

 **Lancelot(offun):** Game Theorists is a conspiracy theory website about video games and memes u uncultured swine

 **Pidgeot:** I will concede to game theorists

 **ShiroGONE:** FINE if we’re going to be doing this then I’ll go gas up the car while u get snacks

 **Matt-o-fact:** get him some dark chocolate-covered nuts and popcorn and he’ll be super nice

 **ShiroGONE:** DON’T EXPOSE ME

 **Pidgeot:** this is gonna be one of the most interesting rides I’m putting money on it right now 

* * *

 

**NYC Thanksgiving Bonanza**

**PrincessPink:** FATHER O FATHER WHERE ARE U???

 **CorantheMustacheMan:** we have just exited the terminal and are getting our luggage!

 **Alforyou:** I am by carousel 8!

 **PrincessPink:** AHHHH I SEE U!!! 

* * *

 

**Where Did November Go?**

**ShiroGONE:** space dad here to check in on all of you! Tell Space dad that everyone is ok

 **PrincessPink:** sorry! Sorry! I missed my father so much we spent the afternoon sightseeing and all and it was very busy :)

 **Matt-o-fact:** I’m not sure…

 **Matt-o-fact:** How are u going to make it up to us?

 **PrincessPink:** Maybe a few kisses and cuddles the next time I’m around <3

 **ShiroGONE:** terms accepted

 **Pidgeot:** this is too gross for me

 **Pidgeot:** but I survived the drive even with all this testosterone and goofiness

 **Mulletboi:** Lance is in the guest bedroom because mom and dad said “no sharing rooms with SOs”

 **Lancelot(offun):** I WANT TO CUDDLE BUT I ALSO RESPECT THE SHIROGANE PARENTS

 **Lancelot(offun):** they’re so sweet LOOK AT THESE PHOTOS

**_Lancelot(offun)_ ** _sent 8 photos_

**Mulletboi:** WHEN DID U GET THOSE

 **Lancelot(offun):** like right when we came in

 **Lancelot(offun):** Mrs. Shirogane is so sweet and small and so welcoming I LOVE THE BROGANE MOM

 **ShiroGONE:** U’ve never seen her mad she’s SCARY

 **Mulletboi:** she survived adopting me

 **Hunkahunka:** sorry I’m late! I got mobbed by my sister and moms

 **Hunkahunka:** everyone was super happy and excited and MOM BROUGHT GRAMPA AND GRANDMA AHHHH

 **Lancelot(offun):** GARRET GRANDPARENTS ARE THERE???? OMG

 **Lancelot(offun):** praise the cooking king and queen

 **Lancelot(offun):** Hunk’s grandparents owned restaurants when they came to America and they make SUCH good food

 **Hunkahunka:** they babysat me all the time when I was young and because Lance was always over…

 **Hunkahunka:** I mean we practically lived at each other’s homes one time Lance’s mom couldn’t find him and instead of calling him she called ME

 **Lancelot(offun):** I was with him so…

 **Hunkahunka:** so…

 **Lancelot(offun):** oh thanks for reminding me I should call my parents and tell them I made it ok

 **PrincessPink:** I am so happy everyone is settling in well!

 **Mulletboi:** Lance’s pie also looks amazing we’re so excited to eat it tomorrow

 **Hunkahunka:** it is :D

 **PrincessPink:** DON’T TEMPT ME it’s sitting in the kitchen now and I WANT

 **ShiroGONE:** your hotel has a kitchen???

 **PrincessPink:** oh no Father rented an apartment for two weeks while here on work so that we could all be together. Well, his company is paying for it

 **PrincessPink:** the kitchen is small tho so we can’t make dinner on our own so we set up a delivery for tomorrow

 **Matt-o-fact:** Again WHY DIDN’T U TAKE US

 **PrincessPink:** I WISH I COULD HAVE

 **Pidgeot:** we Holts are so tempted to eat this shit mom is literally all of our impulse control

 **Matt-o-fact:** I’m not sure how much longer it’s gonna last I think Dad’s actively trying to break her

**_Pidgeot_ ** _sent 3 photos_

**Pidgeot:** Bae Bae was super excited about meeting Rover so my two babies are getting along wonderfully (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ (ᵔᴥᵔ)(ᵔᴥᵔ)

 **Mulletboi:** Well if we’re sharing…

**_Mulletboi_ ** _sent 2 photos_

**Mulletboi:** Blackie missed his buff mom and Tallon loves my boyfriend as much as I do

 **Lancelot(offun):** YOUR CATS ARE SO SWEET

 **ShiroGONE:** which is weird because they normally hate people

 **Matt-o-fact:** Tallon had her reservations about me but Blackie loved me when I walked in

 **PricnessPink:** ^^^^

 **Lancelot(offun):** see Tallon loved me but Blackie kind of sniffed me then ran back to Shiro

 **Hunkahunka:** I see a pattern here

 **Hunkahunka:** what was their reaction to Pidge?

 **Pidgeot:** the cats and I got into a staring contest

 **Matt-o-fact:** she lost

 **Pidgeot:** THEY CHEATED

 **Hunkahunka:** yeah I see it

 **Lancelot(offun):** we should seriously get a pet for the castle with all of us around to take care of it, it would never be an issue

 **PrincessPink:** Uh we have my precious mice

 **Lancelot(offun):** but those guys are really YOUR pets I’m talking a CASTLE pet to snuggle with

 **Mulletboi:** Hm… but why would I snuggle a cat when I can snuggle u?

 **Lancelot(offun):** hugiriuaebag

 **Lancelot(offun):** DAMNIT MULLET WHERE IS YOUR CUTE FACE I WANNA KISS IT

 **Mulletboi:** I’M WITH MY DAD U DORK GETTING THE TURKEY AND THEN THE CUSTARD WE’LL BE HOME IN AN HOUR

 **Lancelot(offun):** THAT IS TOO LONG

 **ShiroGONE:** Uhg ok Lance is screaming and my mom looks concerned time to explain the quota…

 **Pidgeot:** I am so glad we didn’t take him with us this is so much more fun to watch from a safe distance 

* * *

 

**_Hunkahunka_ ** _to **FeShay**_

**Hunkahunka:** Hey just wanted to text you and tell you goodnight my wonderful girlfriend and I hope u and your fam have a great thanksgiving!

 **FeShay:** AWWWW thank you hunk! I hope you and your fam have a wonderful day tomorrow as well! <3 u!

 **Hunkahunka:** (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ Night!

 **FeShay:** (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ Night! 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THEY MADE IT! Next chapter: Thanksgiving hits! Also Alfor probs got, like, an AirBnB kinda thing where he rented a unit for the time he was in NYC because he knew he'd be having his whole little fam there. If anyone is wondering where Allura's mom is, I HC that she passed away in an accident when Allura was very little. Coran and Alfor basically were her parents her whole life.
> 
> The cats KNOW who the SOs are and will cuddle up to them the others are just ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ (if they detect "friend") or ATTACK (and then they go back to their fave buff mom and stabby mom)
> 
> (Also CALLOUT to my fellow game theorists if u watched GTLive today they made a shout-out to my youtube pseud and I HAD AN OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE BEST PRE-CHRISTMAS GIFT EVER)
> 
> Until next time!


	16. Break Shenanigans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> LET THE THANKSGIVING CHAOS COMMENCE!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MERRY THANKSGIVING! Happy Christmas? Holidays. HOLIDAYS!

**We’re All In This Together**

**Lancelot(offun):** HAPPY THANKSGIVING GUYS

 **Hunkahunka:** Happy turkey day!

 **FeShay:** gobble gobble :D

 **PrincessPink:** It’s TOO EARLY for this!

 **ShiroGONE:** It’s 9AM??? You’re a time zone ahead of us???

 **Matt-o-fact:** Shiro this is our girlfriend

 **PrincessPink:** if I could sleep for 10 000 years it still wouldn’t be enough

 **Mulletboi:** 9 AM is too early

 **Pidgeot:** 9 AM is too late

 **Matt-o-fact:** Pidge… did u sleep AT ALL last night???

 **Pidgeot:** going to bed goodbye losers

 **ShiroGONE:** Ok U people need help

* * *

**_ShiroGONE_ ** _to **Matt-o-fact**_

**ShiroGONE:** so Lance is being super future son-in-law to mom and helping her cook and dad went to get something or other IDK and I’m, apparently, useless to her in the kitchen

 **Matt-o-fact:** I mean it IS u

 **Matt-o-fact:** Wanna go out and cause some mischief like old times?

 **ShiroGONE:** Matt we are both adults and need to be responsible

 **Matt-o-fact:** I’ve got quarters and the Arcade is open until three today

 **ShiroGONE:** …

 **ShiroGONE:** put some real clothes on we’re going to shoot down some bad graphic space invaders

 **Matt-o-fact:** Yes SIR 

* * *

 

**Where Did November Go???**

**_Matt-o-fact_ ** _renamed the chat **PALADINS ASSEMBLE VOLTRON**_

**Matt-o-fact:** OK LOSERS IT’S ONE AND WE HAVE A CRISIS ON OUR HANDS

 **Mulletboi:** WHAT HAPPENED U GUYS WERE GONE WHEN I WAS UP

 **Lancelot(offun):** please tell me you aren’t in a kitchen right now there is a REASON your mom kicked u out of ours

 **Hunkahunka:** ours???

 **Mulletboi:** In the span of a few hours Lance has become an honorary Shirogane

 **Pidgeot:** I believe it

 **Matt-o-fact:** HELLO HELP

 **PrincessPink:** WHAT HAPPENED???

 **ShiroGONE:** Matt stop being overdramatic

 **Matt-o-fact:** NO this is a serious question what would you describe as the sound of a laser gun???

 **Mulletboi:** …what?

 **Matt-o-fact:** laser gun. Sound. What is it?

 **ShiroGONE:** *sigh* Matt and I were playing games at the arcade, specifically this one shooter space quest called “Voltron,” and he’s like “what does a laser sound like” and I gave my best rendition of laser guns

 **Matt-o-fact:** He even struck poses it was the cutest nerdy thing ever

 **Matt-o-fact:** BUT I DISAGREE ON THE SOUND

 **PrincessPink:** I’m starting to reevaluate why I like u two

 **Lancelot(offun):** well the OBVI sound is “POW POW POW”

 **Mulletboi:** what was that noise I just heard

 **Lancelot(offun):** laser guns (⌐■_■)

 **Lancelot(offun):** I had to say it to figure out the sound

 **Hunkahunka:** No lance it’s “PCOW PCOW PPPPCOW!’

 **Lancelot(offun):** that sounds like fireworks

 **Pidgeot:** technically they’re more like pCHEW pCHEW pCHEW

 **ShiroGONE:** ok enough with the bad sound effects

 **ShiroGONE:** besides it’s more like BLAM BLAM BLAM

 **Mulletboi:** what?

 **Lancelot(offun):** no way.

 **Pidgeot:** you’re crazy

 **Hunkahunka:** Wrong

 **Matt-o-fact:** SEE WHAT I MEAN???

 **PrincessPink:** U guys are ridiculous

 **Lancelot(offun):** wait allura ur in NYC aren’t u going to the parade?

 **PrincessPink:** well actually the unit we rented just off the parade route so I’m sitting in my PJs and watching Pikachu float by

 **Lancelot(offun):** Ok that sounds amazing

 **PrincessPink:** I went a few years back with Father and Coran and it was cool but crazy so this time I’m taking the lazy route

 **Hunkahunka:** ok so I got to get back to the kitchen tina and mom are arguing about which stuffing recipe they should make

 **Hunkahunka:** …again

 **Matt-o-fact:** but we agree that Shiro’s rendition of lasers is wrong right

 **Lancelot(offun):** completely

 **Mulletboi:** disgrace to the scifi fandom

 **Pidgeot:** rover makes a better laser sound

 **PrincessPink:** Does he even make a laser sound???

 **Pidgeot:** He will in ten minutes after I add it to his command responses

 **ShiroGONE:** Look what u did Matt now I’m gonna hear nothing but laser noises whenever I see rover

 **Hunkahunka:** Rover’s place is in the kitchen now

 **Hunkahunka:** ward off Shiros

 **ShiroGONE:** HEY 

* * *

 

**NYC Thanksgiving Bonanza**

**Alforyou:** So I’m sorry I’m late to dinner but those executives really ate up all the time

 **Alforyou:** Glara Corp was much easier to deal with before Zarkon got old

 **CorantheMustacheMan:** you two are the same age?

 **Alforyou:** yes but I age with dignity he just got old

 **PrincessPink:** and my friends wonder where my snark is from

 **Alforyou:** I DID, however, pick up a little surprise to make up for it

 **CorantheMustacheMan:** oh?

 **PrincessPink:** TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME

 **Alforyou:** now daughter, my dearest flower, you have to be patient

 **PrincessPink:** UUUUUUUUHHHHHGGG

 **CorantheMustacheMan:** Sometimes, Allura, you are very mature for your age

 **Alforyou:** and then there are moments like this

 **PrincessPink:** I sense that you two are teaming up on me, and I object

 **Alforyou:** this is not your court of law, honey

 **CorantheMustacheMan:** and you’re not even licensed to object

 **PrincessPink:** UUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHGGGGGG 

* * *

 

**PALADINS ASSEMBLE VOLTRON**

**PrincessPink:** AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 **PrincessPink:** AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 **PrincessPink:** AHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 **PrincessPink:** AHHHHHHHHHAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 **PrincessPink:** AHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 **PrincessPink:** AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAHHHH

 **ShiroGONE:** Why is it that every time I open this chat someone is screaming?

**_PrincessPink_ ** _sent 3 photos_

**Lancelot(offun):** ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME???

 **Hunkahunka:** HOW

 **PrincessPink:** FATHER SURPRISED US WITH IT AFTER DINNER AND I’M

 **PrincessPink:** AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 **Mulletboi:** I can’t believe you’re going to HAMILTON

 **Pidgeot:** Even KIETH knows what that is so it’s BIG

 **Mulletboi:** HEY I’m not that bad

 **Lancelot(offun):** who’s the queen?

 **Mulletboi:** Beyoncé

 **Matt-o-fact:** that is an unfair question Lance and I have made SURE u all know the queen

 **ShiroGONE:** Allura have fun tomorrow night and make sure to send us some pictures!

 **Lancelot(offun):** BRING ME THE CAST 

* * *

 

**_Pidgeot_ ** _added **PrincessPink, ShiroGONE, Matt-o-fact, Hunkahunka,** and **Mulletboi** to the chat!_

**_Pidgeot_ ** _renamed the chat **PIE???**_

**Pidgeot:** Be straight with me hunk

 **Matt-o-fact:** he’s not straight tho???

 **Pidgeot:** Be Pan with me Hunk

 **Hunkahunka:** yes?

 **Pidgeot:** did u or did u not make this pie

 **Matt-o-fact:** this is a life or death situation

 **ShiroGONE:** what??? Is something wrong???

 **Matt-o-fact:** We need to know the truth if Lance truly made this GLORIOUS pie

 **Pidgeot:** it’s SO GOOD like ON PAR with Hunk’s cookies

 **Matt-o-fact:** it is the best pie I have ever had

 **PrincessPink:** Between Coran, Father, and I it was gone in moments

 **Hunkahunka:** yeah no that’s all Lance

 **Hunkahunka:** he’s perfected his secret pumpkin pie recipe I don’t know what he does with it but it’s AMAZING

 **ShiroGONE:** my dad was almost in tears at it

 **Matt-o-fact:** I WAS ALMOST IN TEARS WITH IT

 **Pidgeot:** ok but nobody tell him otherwise he’s gonna get an inflated ego

 **Mulletboi:** …uh… Lance and I were on my computer and all these popped up in the message board

 **Pidgeot:** DAMNIT KEITH

 **Mulletboi:** hi this is Lance and I’d just like to say RUDE for doubting my baking skills but I’m glad u all liked it

 **PrincessPink:** we’re never hearing the end of this

 **Mulletboi:** u mean like the locked closet plan?

 **ShiroGONE:** I don’t even know which one of them typed it but I know they’re BOTH in on it 

* * *

 

**_Mulletboi_ ** _to **Pidgeot**_

**Mulletboi:** Lance wants to go midnight shopping for Black Friday

 **Mulletboi:** I have to drive

 **Mulletboi:** you want in?

 **Pidgeot:** hell yes come pick me up

 **Pidgeot:** the mega mall is half an hour away and if we leave now we might find parking before it opens at ten

 **Pidgeot:** I need more transistors and the outlet there has EVERYTHING

 **Mulletboi:** Cool I’ll be by in five Lance is getting his coat on 

* * *

 

**_ShiroGONE_ ** _to **Matt-o-fact**_

**ShiroGONE:** want to come over and facetime Allura while the sibs are gone?

 **Matt-o-fact:** YES 

* * *

 

**Castle Paladins**

**Pidgeot:** Hunk do u need any tech stuff because the store I’m at has a 50% off on orders over 150 and I’m almost there

 **Hunkahunka:** that is a LOT of tech but yeah if u find this let me know

**_Hunkahunka_ ** _sent 1 link_

**Hunkahunka:** I need it to finish some projects I’m working on but I can order it online if u don’t find it for a better amount

 **Pidgeot:** nah they got everything

 **Pidgeot:** u need a new tool set, right? They got a top of the line one for 25 right now

 **Hunkahunka:** Pidge ur amazing yes thanks

 **Mulletboi:** please… no more bags

 **Lancelot(offun):** he’s literally sitting in one of those mall massage chairs and is surrounded by bags

 **Pidgeot:** he’s a guardian of the goods

 **Lancelot(offun):** putting those knives to good use

 **Hunkahunka:** as long as no one gets arrested and I get my parts I wish you all the best

* * *

 

**We’re All In This Together**

**_Lancelot(offun)_ ** _renamed the chat **It’s That Time of Year Bitches**_

**Lancelot(offun):** AHHHH WHY DO WE HAVE TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL???

 **Mulletboi:** exams

 **Hunkahunka:** ^^

 **Pidgeot:** I have an announcement to make

 **Pidgeot:** in order to avoid studying for my classes last night and making no headway in coding project I decided to plan the couples challenge!!!

 **Lancelot(offun):** HELL YES

 **PrincessPink:** when and where, Pidge

 **Matt-o-fact:** we need to prove that Shalluratt is the best

 **FeShay:** You will all LOSE to the power of HUNAY

 **Lancelot(offun):** you don’t have a KLANCE in hell!

 **Pidgeot:** is everyone available Saturday?

 **Mulletboi:** yup

 **FeShay:** I’m open

 **Hunkahunka:** HERE

 **Lancelot(offun):** ^^^

 **PrincessPink:** Shalluratt is in

 **Pidgeot:** ok Saturday Castle of lions 10 AM Shay u sleep over because we are doing all-day couples challenge

 **Lancelot(offun):** AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 **PrincessPink:** I did not miss this yelling in New York

 **ShiroGONE:** you were providing plenty of yelling yourself, Princess

 **Matt-o-fact:** you saw HAMILTON

 **Lancelot(offun):** YOU DIDN’T EVEN BRING ME A CAST MEMBER

 **PrincessPink:** I am a lot of things but miracle maker I am not

 **Lancelot(offun):** we should do our own rendition of Hamilton!

 **Mulletboi:** WHEN???

 **Hunkahunka:** Exams are in three weeks

 **Lancelot(offun):** now, right now, meet me in the living room

 **Hunkahunka:** I’m still on the bus back T.T

 **Mulletboi:** I went to the garage to check on my bike

 **ShiroGONE:** I am too old for antics

 **FeShay:** I’m across town…

 **Pidgeot:** no

 **Matt-o-fact:** LANCE THE SHOW MUST GO ON

 **Lancelot(offun):** YES

 **PrincessPink:** do u two even know the lines?

 **Lancelot(offun):** acting is the whole point

 **Pidgeot:** actually I change my mind I’m going to record this disaster for youtube

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> HAPPY HOLIDAYS YALL!


	17. All is Fair in Love and Mario Carts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> COMMENCE THE COUPLE'S CHALLENGE! Also, Pidge does a lot of scheming that, for once, doesn't involve getting her housemates hooked up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BECAUSE IT'S CHRISTMAS AND IDK WHEN I CAN NEXT UPDATE BECAUSE TRAVELS

**Shalluratt Plotting Squad**

**_Lancelot(offun)_ ** _renamed the chat **Screaming Into the Void**_

**Hunkahunka:** Lance on a scale of one to ten how anxious are you?

 **Mulletboi:** He’s somewhere in the house screaming so…

 **Mulletboi:** I’m gonna go find him

 **FeShay:** that is a good boyfriend right there

 **Pidgeot:** this is a person tired of the screaming right here

 **FeShay:** that bad?

 **Hunkahunka:** Lance, when he gets anxious, either tries to cover it with very bad humor or over dramatics but taken to a fifteen

 **Pidgeot:** and he’s usually a twelve

 **Lancelot(offun):** u guys me on a scale of one to ten hotness

 **FeShay:** Lance are you ok???

 **Lancelot(offun):** yeah I just realized that I have a paper and final due on the same day and then the big physics final and then my english paper AND final and…

 **Hunkahunka:** Lance…

 **Mulletboi:** Lance has been kidnapped for a well-deserved cuddle session

 **Mulletboi:** he’s having a bad attack so he’s gonna need some time to breathe

 **Hunkahunka:** his favorite cookies are stashed downstairs if he needs them

 **Mulletboi:** thanks

 **Pidgeot:** u guys are so mushy

 **FeShay:** isn’t it great?

 **Pidgeot:** DISGUSTING

 **Pidgeot:** but anyway day after tomorrow is the challenge and I have all the materials

 **Hunkahunka:** So ready :) 

* * *

 

**_Hunkahunka_ ** _to **Pidgeot**_

**Hunkahunka:** Payment is in the oven

 **Pidgeot:** BLESSED

 **Hunkahunka:** also what is with all this flour in the kitchen???

 **Pidgeot:** you’ll see :)

 **Hunkahunka:** as long as nothing burns down…

* * *

 

**_Katie Holt @pidgeot_ **

_Annoying roommates want a couples challenge? Well they’re gonna get a hella one. #castlecoupleschallenge_

**_Lance McClain @lancelot(offun)_ **

**_One photo attached_ **

_COUPLES CHALLENGE BEGINS! We’re gonna have the most BEAUTIFUL door in the castle! #castlecoupleschallenge_

**_Allura Altea @PrincessPink_ **

**_Three photos attached_ **

_HAHA team Shalluratt for the first win! Starry Night Christmas door :D Shout out to Classic X-mas Hunay and the half-done @lancelot(offun) #castlecoupleschallenge_

**_Lance McClain @lancelot(offun)_ **

_WE WOULD HAVE KICKED YOUR BUTTS IF WE HAD MORE TIME @PrincessPink #castlecoupleschallenge_

**_Matt Holt @Matt-o-fact_ **

_@lancelot(offun) Full disclosure Klance was arguing half the time about the design #castlecoupleschallenge_

**_Shay Balmera @FeShay_ **

**_Attached 10 photos_ **

_HAHAHA HUNAY TAKES THE WIN but Hunk is not happy about his kitchen’s use (and abuse) @PrincessPink @Matt-o-fact #castlecoupleschallenge_

**_Matt Holt @Matt-o-fact_ **

_@pidgeot YOU WERE BRIBED WEREN’T YOU #castlecoupleschallenge_

**_Katie Holt @pidgeot_ **

_@Matt-o-fact Christmas cookies was a valid couples challenge and you guys just suck #castlecoupleschallenge_

**_Lance McClain @lancelot(offun)_ **

**_One photo attached_ **

_THESE BOYS ARE PREPARED TO KICK ASS IN THE FINAL #castlecoupleschallenge BRING ON THE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS_

**_Katie Holt @pidgeot_ **

_I am slightly scared at the intensity of @lancelot and keith on the Klance team but damn robot angel #castlecoupleschallenge_

**_Lance McClain @lancelot(offun)_ **

**_2 photos attached_ **

_Kissing under the mistletoe? Nah kiss under the CHRISTMAS IN SPACE AWARD WINNING TREE #castlecoupleschallenge #KLANCEFTW_

**_Katie Holt @pidgeot_ **

_It’s a three way draw there’s only one way to settle this @lancelot(offun), @FeShay, @Matt-o-fact, @PrincessPink #castlecoupleschallenge_

**_Allura Altea @PrincessPink_ **

**_Five photos attached_ **

_@pidgeot WHY MARIO CARTS #castlecoupleschallenge_

**_Katie Holt @pidgeot_ **

_“We weren’t getting the deposit back anyway” #castlecoupleschallenge_

**_Matt Holt @Matt-o-fact_ **

_Team Mario Carts HEY-O #castlecoupleschallenge_

**_Katie Holt @pidgeot_ **

_Final score: One win Shalluratt, one win Klance, one win Hunay, and Mario champion Pidge takes the win #teamAce #castlecoupleschallenge_

**_Lance McClain @lancelot(offun)_ **

_@pidgeot only won because the rest of us spent all energy decorating the damn castle all day #castlecoupleschallenge_

**_Katie Holt @pidgeot_ **

_@lancelot(offun) suck it loser #castlecoupleschallenge_

* * *

 

**PALADINS ASSEMBLE VOLTRON**

**Lancelot(offun):** nobody wake me until Christmas I’m so tired

 **ShiroGONE:** has anyone seen Keith???

 **Lancelot(offun):** I stole him he’s warm u can’t have him

 **Pidgeot:** how did I kill all energy and u guys still have energy to be gross

 **Lancelot(offun):** SHHH sleeping

 **Hunkahunka:** just dropped Shay off and am headed back

 **Hunkahunka:** but shay says she had fun even though she’s exhausted

 **PrincessPink:** be safe driving back

 **Matt-o-fact:** if any of u fuckers wake me tomorrow I’m killing someone

 **Hunkahunka:** OH NO you three are fixing the MESS you made of Yellow

 **PrincessPink:** Yellow???

 **Hunkahunka:** the kitchen. I named her

 **ShiroGONE:** DON’T TEXT AND DRIVE

 **Hunkahunka:** I’m still parked in front of Shay’s building

 **Hunkahunka:** but the kitchen better be fixed after that atrocity of “cookies” you made

 **Pidgeot:** I didn’t think u could fuck them up that bad somehow they were burned on the outside and raw on the inside

 **Matt-o-fact:** SCIENCE

 **Lancelot(offun):** Keith is threatening to knife someone unless y’all SHHHHH

 **Hunkahunka:** ok officially leaving Shay’s place night Lance!

* * *

**_FeShay_ ** _to **Hunkahunka**_

**FeShay:** Hey Hunk! Thank you again for driving me home last night! Not that I don’t love your couch but my bed is better :)

 **Hunkahunka:** I mean I offered my bed :P But it was no problem at all. We have the car for a reason. Thanks again for coming over yesterday I had a lot of fun!

 **FeShay:** Me too! And I loved coming over, even though we TECHNICALLY didn’t win XD

 **Hunkahunka:** sneaky sneaky pidge

 **Hunkahunka:** even after I bribed her

 **FeShay:** what?

 **Hunkahunka:** what?

 **FeShay:** what did u do

 **Hunkahunka:** uh hahaha…I exploited her love of my cookies in order to get a challenge made in our favor

 **FeShay:** honestly I would have done the same XD Making cookies was SO fun though, especially eating them all afterwards

 **FeShay:** you sent me home with so many, too, and my roommates are all over them

 **Hunkahunka:** I may live with five other people but six dozen cookies was still too much for us alone

 **FeShay:** speaking of how is everyone this morning?

 **Hunkahunka:** well I forced Shalluratt to clean the kitchen after the disaster of “baking” they had done

 **FeShay:** is it weird that I expected Keith and Lance to fail as hard?

 **Hunkahunka:** People are always surprised that Lance can bake. He can’t do much cooking but he LOVES holiday baking.

 **Hunkahunka:** but yeah speaking of Klance they’re hidden away somewhere (I think snuggling in Lance’s room?) and have yet to emerge this morning

 **Hunkahunka:** they actually fell asleep there last night

 **FeShay:** OMG those two

 **Hunkahunka:** I know

 **Hunkahunka:** then after I forced the Kitchen Nightmare trio to fix the kitchen they all flopped onto the couch and fell asleep

 **Hunkahunka:** pidge is the most normal one this morning but that’s probably because the most “work” she did yesterday was bring out the fake trees and eat cookies

 **Hunkahunka:** yeah but we have all this extra flour now (pidge bought so much IDK why), so I’m making pancakes

 **Hunkahunka:** so far Pidge made coffee and Shiro rose from the dead when he heard the machine

 **Hunkahunka:** no wait here comes Allura

 **FeShay:** sounds like your off to a busy morning XD

 **FeShay:** Flor and Plax are both kind of lounging around this morning, but we all were mature adults and ate cookies for breakfast

 **FeShay:** oh wait now they’re renting a movie and inviting me to be lazy with them

 **FeShay:** movie or homework… movie or homework…

 **Hunkahunka:** what movie are they watching?

 **FeShay:** Rise of the Guardians

 **Hunkahunka:** Homework can wait

 **FeShay:** This is why we make a great couple :D

 **Hunkahunka:** :D 

* * *

 

**The Walking Disasters**

**Matt-o-fact:** where did my pillows go?

 **ShiroGONE:** Hunk has pancakes 

* * *

 

 

**_Matt Holt @Matt-o-fact_ **

**_Attached 3 photos_ **

_Eating pancakes with the loves of my life and these disasters we call children no better way to spend a Sunday_

* * *

 

**_ShiroGONE_ ** _to **Mulletboi**_

**ShiroGONE:** are you guys getting up soon?

 **Mulletboi:** no shhh sleeping

 **ShiroGONE:** ok but pancakes are almost done

 **Mulletboi:** Lance says he’ll make more later and he’s got Hunk’s recipe

 **ShiroGONE:** fair but if u guys aren’t up by one I’m gonna come get u

 **ShiroGONE:** u still have to homework today

 **Mulletboi:** SHHH LET MY BOYFRIEND SLEEP AND IGNORE THE WORLD

 **ShiroGONE:** that goes double for u Lance 

* * *

 

**_RegRage_ ** _to **Pidgeot**_

**RegRage:** is this the infamous Pidge that is friends with Keith Kogane?

 **Pidgeot:** who’s asking

 **RegRage:** the person who hacked his phone when he wouldn’t willingly give it to me because, and I quote, “putting you two in the same block alone asks for chaos”

 **RegRage:** so I went ahead with information extraction

 **Pidgeot:** you have my attention

 **Pidgeot:** Yes I am the great and powerful Pidge. I’m going to assume you are Regris Mamora, senior in criminology here?

 **RegRage:** and how did u come to this conclusion?

 **Pidgeot:** I hacked Keith’s contacts ages ago. I also run background checks on whomever I deem interesting and/or threatening to my friends and I.

 **RegRage:** what category do I fall into?

 **Pidgeot:** well that depends on why you are texting me

 **RegRage:** well Keith and Antok are apparently frightened about us interacting, and I was bored and decided to drum up some chaos

 **RegRage:** I’ve already hacked the NSA twice this month so I figured I’d spite my cousin instead

 **Pidgeot:** so you wanted to meet me?

 **RegRage:** yup. Figured it’d also spite Keith

 **Pidgeot:** You any good at coding?

 **RegRage:** I’m not a hacker for nothing

 **Pidgeot:** I’m building a robot army want in?

 **RegRage:** I am so glad I hacked keith’s phone I’ll be at your place in ten

 **Pidgeot:** how did u get my address?

 **RegRage:** actually the NSA had that one

 **RegRage:** full file on you and your friends and brother

 **RegRage:** I replaced all of it with Nyan Cat pictures

 **Pidgeot:** Ok you bring that info and we’ll be the best of hacker friends >:) 

* * *

 

**_Mulletboi_ ** _to **Antok**_

**Mulletboi:** we’re dead

**_Mulletboi_ ** _sent one photo_

**Mulletboi:** Reg is naming his after you and I am concerned

 **Antok:** I told you NOT to introduce them!!!

 **Mulletboi:** I DIDN’T

 **Mulletboi:** oh hell now Matt’s here

 **Antok:** the gremlin’s brother?

 **Mulletboi:** the original memelord

 **Antok:** It was good knowing you Keith

 **Mulletboi:** COME REIGN IN YOUR COUSIN

 **Antok:** I have no control over him you know this

 **Mulletboi:** then send someone that can! He’s adding a program to stalk Sendak now

 **Antok:** he’s going to get arrested again damnit 

* * *

 

**_Antok_ ** _to **Kolivania**_

**Antok:** call your brother he’s going to get arrested again

 **Kolivania:** damnit what is he doing now

 **Antok:** plotting and causing general chaos

 **Antok:** and planning to stalk a professor with his robot

 **Kolivania:** which one?

 **Antok:** sendak

* * *

 

**_Kolivania_ ** _to **RegRage**_

**Kolivania:** are you plotting?

 **RegRage:** always but what are you specifically referring to?

 **Kolivania:** stalk Ulaz or Thace for me

 **RegRage:** wait you’re ENCOURAGING me to dig around in our family’s/future family’s life???

 **Kolivania:** you might be dropping the “future” soon

 **RegRage:** Hello who is this because Regris threw his phone and started screaming excitedly

 **RegRage:** this castle has one drama queen constantly screaming we don’t’ need another and we’re also concerned

 **Kolivania:** sorry Reg gets excited. I’m Kolivan, his older brother.

 **RegRage:** Kolivan the FBI agent?

 **Kolivania:** I keep TELLING him not to tell everyone that but yes I am

 **RegRage:** Ok I’m Keith Kogane he and I are study friends

 **Kolivania:** The “other guy Antok and I study with who has a knife collection?”

 **RegRage:** oh my gods he’s DEFINITELY a fusion of my two friends but yes

 **Kolivania:** Well he should slow down soon then he’ll require more details about his “mission”

 **Kolivania:** thanks for your concern though

 **RegRage:** No problem like I said we have enough chaos here and he’s a friend

 **Kolivania:** Here feel free to get my information from Reg or Antok in case they are ever giving you trouble. If Antok hasn’t told you he’s got no control over my brother

 **RegRage:** ARE YOU KIDDING ME I’M GOING TO NEED TO NOW

 **Kolivania:** oh hello brother

 **RegRage:** AHHHHH I CAN’T WAIT FOR THE WEDDING 

* * *

 

**PALADINS ASSEMBLE VOLTRON**

**ShiroGONE:** LANCE STOP SCREAMING

 **Lancelot(offun):** I’m not screaming???

 **ShiroGONE:** I just walked in and someone is dramatically screaming

 **Mulletboi:** that’s Regris he and Pidge teamed up and are causing chaos

 **Lancelot(offun):** Hey there can only be ONE

 **Mulletboi:** I think he has a good reason this time apparently Ulaz and Thace MIGHT be getting married

 **Hunkahunka:** Shirts Lance is screaming in the middle of University Hill now and people are staring

 **PrincessPink:** walk away and pretend you don’t’ know him

 **Hunkahunka:** walking away now

 **ShiroGONE:** I’m too old for this and Matt’s here probably not helping so… Allura can I hide with you?

 **PrincessPink:** I’m in the law office but there’s that one squishy chair in my office u can sit in

 **ShiroGONE:** I’m getting hot chocolate and coming over <3

 **PrincessPink:** I LOVE MY BOYFRIENDS but shiro now is BEST <3

 **Mulletboi:** too bad Pidge is too busy to make commentary on our loviness

 **Lancelot(offun):** Keith when we get married it’s gonna be BEAUTIFUL

**Mulletboi:** **◉** **_** **◉**

**Mulletboi** : ARE YOU ALREADY PLANNING OUR WEDDING

 **Lancelot(offun):** YES AND IT IS GOING TO BE BEAUTIFUL ON A LATE SPRING DAY AND IT’S GONNA BE ON THE COAST AND THAT’S AS FAR AS I GOT

 **Mulletboi:** DAMNIT THAT SOUNDS BEAUTIFUL WANT TO GET MARRIED NOW???

 **ShiroGONE:** no marrying before me

 **Mulletboi:** until u change the law we’re getting hitched first

 **PrincessPink:** lawyer :D

 **ShiroGONE:** :D

 **ShiroGONE:** no getting married before finishing school

 **Mulletboi:** Uhg FINE

 **Lancelot(offun):** I gotta convince Thace to let me plan his wedding Keith Thace likes you CONVINCE HIM

 **Mulletboi:** I have exams to worry about I can’t have panic about wedding now

 **Lancelot(offun):** SHIT EXAMS

 **Hunkahunka:** oh there goes more screaming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LOVE YOU ALL I seriously LIVE for seeing comments and hits and kudos THANK YOU AND HAVE A LOVELY HOLIDAY SEASON!!!


	18. Finals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Exams are STRESSING out our team, and Lance's anxiety has decided to rear it's ugly head. Not only that, but Regris isn't letting the exam stress ruin his "fun" involving all his family fun - whether they're really related to him or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EXAMS WERE STRESSFUL OK??? Ok.

**Screaming Into the Void**

**_Hunkahunka_ ** _renamed the chat **Study Buddies**_

**_Pidgeot_ ** _renamed the chat **Physics is a Tool**_

**_Lancelot(offun)_ ** _renamed the chat **kill me now**_

**_Mulletboi_ ** _renamed the chat **FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU**_

**_FeShay_ ** _renamed the chat **CHAT**_

**Pidgeot:** sincerely appreciate the creativity there Shay

 **FeShay:** it was much more creative then most of you

 **FeShay:** plus no one can argue with this one

**_Mulletboi_ ** _renamed the chat **Fight the Man**_

**_Pidgeot_ ** _renamed the chat **I am no man**_

**_Hunkahunka_ ** _renamed the chat **WE HAVE TO STUDY**_

**Lancelot(offun):** uhg fine but when I die I want to be buried next to keith

 **Hunkahunka:** are you implying that Keith is going to die?

 **Lancelot(offun):** no but I want his plot next to mine so we can be together forever

 **Pidgeot:** yeah but you really wont because walls of dirt and wood

 **Lancelot(offun):** unearth my body and bury me WITH MY MAN

 **FeShay:** Lance are you ok?

 **Lancelot(offun):** EH…

 **Lancelot(offun):** I’m fine

 **Mulletboi:** where are you?

 **Lancelot(offun):** the library? College?

 **Mulletboi:** I’m coming to study with you

 **Mulletboi:** I’m bringing caffeine

 **Lancelot(offun):** I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND

 **Pidgeot:** DISGUSTING

 **FeShay:** you want to study together sometime this week?

 **Pidgeot:** as long as no one starts being gross I’m in

 **Hunkahunka:** Castle?

 **FeShay:** sure

 **FeShay:** I’ll bring some snacks, too

 **Pidgeot:** yes please feed me I am starving 

* * *

 

**_Mulletboi_ ** _added **Feshay, Hunkahunka, Matt-o-fact, PrincessPink, ShiroGONE,** and **Pidgeot** to the chat!_

**_Mulletboi_ ** _renamed the chat **Lance**_

**Pidgeot:** you couldn’t come up with a more impressive group chat name?

 **Mulletboi:** I can’t text too much or lance get sus

 **Mulletboi:** but I needed to get team because lance

**_Hunkahunka_ ** _renamed the chat **Lance Protection Squad**_

**FeShay:** much better

 **Hunkahunka:** what is going on with our boy?

 **Mulletboi:** stress much worse then let on

 **Mulletboi:** heads up

 **ShiroGONE:** how can you tell?

 **PrincessPink:** it’s probably one of his tells

 **Matt-o-fact:** you mean like excessive joking? And dramatic yelling?

 **Hunkahunka:** that joking happens at the mid-range levels of stress for Lance but there are lots of stages and tells that you learn after a while

 **PrincessPink:** the yelling is more “hey I’m low-key stressed and letting it out so that I can feel better real quick” but sometimes it’s also just because yelling is refreshing

 **Pidgeot:** you know this… how?

 **PrincessPink:** outside of Hunk I probably spend the most time with Lance on pampering things and talking

 **Hunkahunka:** friend of many years

 **FeShay:** hey it’s been a while where did Keith go???

 **Mulletboi:** sorry I had to make an excuse but u know how bad I am when it comes to lying but then some freshman crashed into me when I was getting up and spilled her chips all over me so I excused myself to the bathroom

 **Mulletboi:** but yeah we’re beyond mid-level stress and now he’s trying to cover up it with even worse humor that, at one point, just stopped in the middle of a joke and looked down at his book. I’m pretty sure he just apologized outright before even making a borderline lude comment.

 **Hunkahunka:** oh no the excessive apologies stage

 **Hunkahunka:** he’s REALLY panicked about exams

 **Mulletboi:** and I just… it’s like he’s RADIATING sadness. His whole body looks like a good shove will finish him for good. I’m thinking his depression and anxiety are acting up together.

 **Mulletboi:** AHH what do I do???

 **Pidgeot:** well for starters just stay calm and stick by him. Knowing Lance, he might try to blow off company and help but we all know how much he thrives on it

 **Hunkahunka:** yeah that’s a for sure. Also, he’s going to be weird about touch. Normally he’ll just throw himself at anything or one that he wants to hug but if he’s like this he’s gonna pull back. Ask him if he wants a hug when you get back. Sometimes he’s too touch-sensitive and will instead ask for space but more often then not it’s on a scale of “what amount of human contact will be ok and what is too much”

 **PrincessPink:** chocolate. Chocolate helps. Dark chocolate especially.

 **Matt-o-fact:** maybe also find a spot where there aren’t so many people to help him just feel more safe and comfortable

 **ShiroGONE:** Just do what you would do on a bad day but for him

 **FeShay:** and you’re his boyfriend. I’m sure you can pick up cues we’ll miss.

 **Mulletboi:** I’m not sure which Keith Kogane you are thinking of but THIS ONE DOES NOT DO WELL ON SUBTLE CUES

 **ShiroGONE:** Hey you already got this far without our help, and, while you CAN be oblivious, you aren’t blind

 **PrincessPink:** I can’t believe I’m about to say this, because normally it leads to property damage and/or someone injured, but trust your gut on this one. When it comes to people you care about, you have a pretty good instinct.

 **Hunkahunka:** worse case scenario pack up and come home to study. We can control the environment better here.

 **Mulletboi:** ok thanks guys I’ll start with a quiet spot and keep you guys posted 

* * *

 

**_RegRage_ ** _added **Mulletboi, Antok,** and **Kolivania** to the chat!_

**_RegRage_ ** _renamed the chat **Blades of Marmora**_

**Antok:** why

 **RegRage:** I have some juicy gossip about a certain uncle and soon-to-be uncle

 **Mulletboi:** and I’m here… why??? I’m not related to you guys

 **RegRage:** YOU ACTUALLY ARE

 **Mulletboi:** oh no

 **RegRage:** so I was bored yesterday

 **Kolivania:** never a good thing

 **RegRage:** so I hacked the government and wound up at Keith’s records and wow keith your mom was kickass

 **Mulletboi:**???

 **RegRage:** she was CIA apparently and was COUNSINS with a certain physics prof

 **RegRage:** distantly but still

 **Mulletboi:** MY BIO MOM WAS CIA????

 **Kolivania:** Reg why do you do this to people and am I going to get a report in the morning?

 **RegRage:** nah I’m that good and the software Pidge gave me is awesome

 **Antok:** Absolute chaos

 **Mulletboi:** wait I want to know more about my mom like my dad was all “she disappeared when I was a kid” and I want more info

 **RegRage:** I can do a hand off in class

 **Antok:** so I guess welcome to the fam?

 **Mulletboi:** wait so Thace IS getting married to Ulaz???

 **RegRage:** CONFIRMED

 **Kolivania:** Thace proposed the other night and they want a fall wedding

 **Antok:** master planner getting pulled into wedding plans already?

 **Kolivania:** *sigh* yes…

 **RegRage:** I elect Keith to be the ring bearer cuz’ he’s the youngest cousin

 **Mulletboi:** I JUST FOUND OUT I’M RELATED TO YOU (kinda) GIVE ME TIME TO PROCESS

 **Antok:** yes but Regris is especially attached to you already and knowing there’s a relation means that you’re family now

 **Regris:** I like keeping my valuable assets close and in a fight I want you all on my team swords ablaze

 **Kolivania:** I knew talking mom and dad into letting you go away to college would come back to haunt me and you’ve somehow gotten worse since then…

 **Mulletboi:** So is this proposal secret or can I inform my housemates because they’ve all been shipping Ulaz and Thace since we found out

 **RegRage:** I mean I posted the video to Instagram an hour ago

 **RegRage:** Antok Mark 2 is a fabulous piece of machinery

 **Antok:** I told you NOT to name that contraption after me

 **RegRage:** GASP how can you say that about YOUR NEPHEW

 **Mulletboi:** How long have you been chatting with Pidge you’re as bad as her already

 **RegRage:** she and the meme lord are fellow members of team no sleep because ROBOTS

 **Antok:** what is that a group chat

* * *

**_RegRage_ ** _added **Pidgeot** and **Matt-o-fact** to the chat!_

**_RegRage_ ** _renamed the chat **Team no sleep because ROBOTS**_

**RegRage:** reply with science I’m proving a point to Antok

 **Pidgeot:** servos

 **Matt-o-fact:** newton’s third law

 **Pidgeot:** e equals mc squared

 **Matt-o-fact:** Shiro has the biggest, hottest muscles ever scientific fact and Allura is the most talented beautiful lawyer-to-be

 **Pidgeot:** THIS WAS A WHOLESOME SCIENCE CHAT YOU HEATHEN

 **Matt-o-fact:** but do you deny FACT???

 **Pidgeot:** Computer scientists are better than biochemists

 **Matt-o-fact:** MEET ME IN THE PIT

* * *

**Blades of Marmora**

**_RegRage_ ** _sent one photo_

**RegRage:** our science team

 **Kolivania:** how do we know you didn’t just generate that in photoshop?

 **Mulletboi:** can, unfortunately, confirm that that is, indeed, the holts

 **Antok:** are they always like this?

 **Mulletboi:** you should see our castle group chat…

 **RegRage:** KOLIVAN WHY CAN’T WE BE MORE LIKE THIS???

 **Kolivania:** Because I am a responsible adult?

 **RegRage:** MEET ME IN THE PIT

 **Kolivania:** how about I send you some cookies instead?

 **RegRage:** love you big bro <<<<<3333333

 **Antok:** I am so glad I am an only child sometimes

 **RegRage:** OH HAS AUNTIE NOT TOLD YOU ABOUT THE PREGNANCY YET???

 **Antok:** WHAT???? 

* * *

 

**PALADINS FORM VOLTRON**

**Mulletboi:** so Ulaz and Thace are gonna have the same last name come next year

 **Mulletboi:** my bio mom was also apparently CIA and related to Thace

 **Mulletboi:** I’m unofficially a Marmora and Antok’s mom is pregnant???

 **Lancelot(offun):** what the fuck

 **Pidgeot:** I leave for five minutes and miss out on all the fun

 **Hunkahunka:** I’m scared to even ask

 **Mulletboi:** Regris

 **Matt-o-fact:** makes sense

 **Lancelot(offun):** GASP IF YOU GET INVITED TO THE WEDDING I WANT TO COME!!!

 **ShiroGONE:** I’ll pass our congrats on to Ulaz the next time I see him around. He’s a good guy and deserves to be happy.

 **PrincessPink:** SO MANY OF MY SHIPS ARE SAILING WHAT A BLESSED TIME OF YEAR

 **PrincessPink:** now if I could only get Corfor going…

 **Lancelot(offun):** I’m partial to Alfran

 **ShiroGONE:** I’m concerned what are you two planning and who are you trying to put together???

 **Pidgeot:** Coran and Allura’s dad obs

 **PrincessPink:** I have a feeling about them but I can’t put my finger on it…

 **PrincesPink:** Like I can’t figure out if they’re just REALLY good friends but then again Coran’s been super closer it seems since mom left and IDK

 **PrincessPink:** father keeps saying they’re just old friends and Coran defers the question or gets distracted but that’s Coran so I can’t tell

 **Matt-o-fact:** need help?

 **PrincessPink:** aren’t you hosting the fire-starter lab now?

 **Matt-o-fact:** your point?

 **ShiroGONE:** why am I dating you

 **Matt-o-fact:** for my amazing looks and hot brains obvi

 **ShiroGONE:** I mean they are

 **PrincessPink:** cutest nerd I’ve ever seen, only tied with Shiro

 **Matt-o-fact:** gsherghobsiah

 **Hunkahunka:** dear gods the wormhole has connected us to the Shalluratt feels as it had Klance

 **Pidgeot:** GET YOUR HEATHEN FEELS OUT OF THIS CHAT

 **Matt-o-fact:** NO

* * *

 

**_Lancelot(offun)_ ** _to **Mulletboi**_

**Lancelot(offun):** my first final paper is due tomorrow I’m dying

 **Mulletboi:** haven’t you had the paper done for a week??? For once???

 **Lancelot(offun):** AHHHH but it’s so BAD I’m going to fail this class and have to move into a cabin in the woods and die penniless and alone

 **Mulletboi:** ok a) you will never be alone you got all of us, especially me, and your fam to back you up

 **Mulletboi:** b) I’m pretty sure this is the English class and, as you’ve said, you’re fluent and could probably not turn in the paper and still pass fine

 **Lancelot(offun):** but then I’ll be an embarrassment to my family if I can’t ace it and AHHHHHHH

 **Lancelot(offun):** I reread it and hated it and now I’m trying to rewrite it three times and failing and…

 **Mulletboi:** Lance?

 **Mulletboi:** Lance where did you go?

 **Lancelot(offun):** Sorry I’m unbooking on you I’m fine siri send

 **Mulletboi:** I’m getting out of bed and coming to your room to sit with you

 **Lancelot(offun):** no u ned seep

 **Mulletboi:** nope glasses on found my sweater (why is it so damn COLD in this house???) and Red in hand I’m coming

 **Lancelot(offun):** livin in same house worst

 **Mulletboi: *** best

 **Mulletboi:** you’re not in your room where are you

 **Lancelot(offun):** beanbags

 **Mulletboi:** ok I’m coming down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith is a good boi and ESPECIALLY good boyfriend. He's gonna support his stressed BF even at 3 AM.
> 
> Until next time!


	19. The Duck Invasion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because the author has #cracked and written the chapter that basically inspired this fic (aka the zany shenanigans that result from Mak and @kawaguardian on tumblr discussing youtube videos and voltron).
> 
> Basically the ducks have returned and IT'S AN INVASION!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY THIS IS WEIRDLY TIMED BUT HAPPY NEW YEAR

**Castle Paladins**

**Mulletboi:** Lance

**Lancelot(offun):** what is it my sweet?

**Mulletboi:** we need to talk about the ducks

**Lancelot(offun):** the ducks?

**_Mulletboi_ ** _sent one photo_

**Mulletboi:** You’re the only person I know who bathes with ducks EXPLAIN

**Lancelot(offun):** OMG THERE ARE BABY RUBBER DUCKIES ALL OVER THE BATHROOM THIS IS AMAZING

**Lancelot(offun):** are they praising blue??? THEY ARE

**Mulletboi:** LANCE

**Hunkahunka:** Oh my gods what have you done to our bathroom

**Hunkahunka:** when I saw the rubber ducks collecting…

**Lancelot(offun):** as much as I would love to claim those babies as mine they are not. I only have blue because she was tiny and adorable.

**Mulletboi:** then who…

**Mulletboi:** pidge

**Pidgeot:** you rang?

**Mulletboi:** your ducks

**Pidgeot:** the ducks?

**Mulletboi:** the bathroom ducks

**Pidgeot:** the bathroom ducks?

**Mulletboi:** YES THE DUCKS IN THE BATHROOM

**Pidgeot:** ah THOSE ducks

**Hunkahunka:** I feared someone would crack under exam week

**Hunkahunka:** why, oh why pidge, have you sabotaged our shared bathroom???

**Pidgeot:** what about them?

**Mulletboi:** please stop

**Mulletboi:** I was in a rush this morning but couldn’t fucking shower until I’d fucking moved hundreds of tiny ducks from the bathtub

**Lancelot(offun):** you better not have harmed blue

**Mulletboi:** If I did it was a yellow rubber duck’s fault

**Pidgeot:** Ah sorry about that. From now on, no more tiny ducks. You have my word.

**Hunkahunka:** sounds fake but ok

* * *

**PALADINS FORM VOLTRON**

**PrincessPink:** WHAT ARE ALL THESE TINY DUCKS DOING IN OUR BATHROOM???

**Pidgeot:** Matt said I could store some rubber ducks in your bathroom until I could find a proper home for them

**Hunkahunka:** Oh heck they’re both cracking under exam pressure

**Lancelot(offun):** WHY ARE THERE THREE GIANT DUCKS TAKING UP SPACE IN THE TOILET, TUB, AND SINK???

**Pidgeot:** Keith made me promise no more tiny ducks

**_Lancelot(offun)_ ** _sent 3 photos_

**Lancelot(offun):** THEY STOLE BLUE

**PrincessPink:** do you think what you’re doing is funny?

**Matt-o-fact:** a bit

**Pidgeot:** a bit

**ShiroGONE:** they’re so siblings

**Mulletboi:** THAT’S IT

**Mulletboi:** I’M GOING TO BURN ALL THE FUCKING DUCKS IN THIS HOUSE

**Lancelot(offun):** NOT BLUE

**PrincessPink:** DEATH TO ALL THE DUCKS

**ShiroGONE:** Ok let’s calm down now.

**ShiroGONE:** Keith and I are going home this weekend for mom’s birthday. Allura, you can come with because your dad is invited to the party. By the time we get back, we want all the ducks gone.

**Matt-o-fact:** WHAT ABOUT THE POOR HOLTS???

**ShiroGONE:** You guys are grounded for the ducks

**Pidgeot:** what ducks?

**Lancelot(offun):** I’M GOING TO MURDER THEM

**Hunkahunka:** Ok Lance and I are going to spend Sunday at the library but ducks need to be CLEANED

**Lancelot(offun):** AND I WANT BLUE BACK

**Pidgeot:** wait why can’t I have a duck if Lance gets one???

**Matt-o-fact:** :( Can we each keep ONE duck in the bathroom???

**ShiroGONE:** FINE you each get ONE

**Matt-o-fact:** :)

**Matt-o-fact:** BEST BOYFRIEND EVER

**ShiroGONE:** and Lance gets blue back

**Mulletboi:** STOP STRESSING MY BOYFRIEND OUT HE’S GOT ENOUGH ANXIETY AS IS

**_Hunkahunka_ ** _sent 2 photos_

**Hunkahunka:** LOOK AT THEM THEY HAVE ANXIETY

**Pidgeot:** DON’T MEME AT ME HUNK

**Matt-o-fact:** I AM THE MEME LORD OF THIS HOUSE

**PrincessPink:** WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU EVEN GET ALL THESE DUCKS THEY’RE LIKE COMING OUT OF THE DRAIN???

**Matt-o-fact:** Internet

**PrincessPink:** I’m breaking up with you

**ShiroGONE:** NO MORE SCREAMING

**Pidgeot:** IDK where I put blue

**ShiroGONE:** GAWDDAMNIT NOW THEY’RE BOTH AT IT 

* * *

 

**Team no sleep because ROBOTS**

**Pidgeot:** Hey regris thanks for the duck website

**Matt-o-fact:** roommates LOVED it

**RegRage:** I’m sure

**RegRage:** videos???

**_Pidgeot_ ** _sent 3 videos_

**RegRage:** BRILLIANT

**Matt-o-fact:** Now we move on to operation “One Duck”

**RegRage:** I got your deliveries in my apartment Antok has no idea

**Pidgeot:** you’re going to adopt our ducks, right?

**RegRage:** OF COURSE! I can’t let those babies be thrown to the world by themselves

**Matt-o-fact:** You’re going to pull it on Antok aren’t you

**RegRage:** Hell no there’s not enough time in the semester to do it slow and right to drive him truly insane

**RegRage:** BUT I am spending the month off with my brother…

**Matt-o-fact:** RIP in pieces Kolivan

**Pidgeot:** we never met but IDK ur dead 

* * *

 

**PALADINS FORM VOLTRON**

**_PrincessPink_ ** _sent one photo_

**_Lancelot(offun)_ ** _sent one photo_

**PrincessPink:** what the actual hell

**Mulletboi:** Why is there a GIANT BLOW UP DUCK in our bathroom???

**Pidgeot:** you said one duck each

**Matt-o-fact:** we abided by the house rules

**Hunkahunka:** They’re insane.

**Matt-o-fact:** QUACKERS!

**Mulletboi:** THAT’S IT

**Lancelot(offun):** Ok Keith just stormed out of the bathroom towards his room with that dangerous look in his eyes

**Hunkahunka:** I hear crashing through the walls

**Lancelot(offun):** HE’S GOT A FUCKING SWORD WHAT THE FUCK

**Matt-o-fact:** HE PULLED OUT THE KATANA???

**Lancelot(offun):** OH MY GODS

**_Lancelot(offun)_ ** _sent one video_

**Lancelot(offun):** and now he’s headed down towards the Grad student’s bathroom

**Matt-o-fact:** NO NOT TITAN AND GIANT

**Hunkahunka:** RIP in pieces ducks

**PrincessPink:** literally

**PrincessPink:** ahhh I have my sanctuary back

**ShiroGONE:** I am too old for this

**Matt-o-fact:** THE DUCKS ARE DEAD

**Pidgeot:** THE DUCKS ARE DEAD

**ShiroGONE:** I’m disowning you two

**PrincessPink:** same

**Hunkahunka:** same

**Lancelot(offun):** WHERE’S BLUE???

**Mulletboi:** Lance I found her. SOMEONE put her in my desk

**Matt-o-fact:** nowhere safer than in a drawer of knives

**Lancelot(offun):** BLUE BABY COME TO PAPA

**ShiroGONE:** for ducks sake 

* * *

 

**_Ulaz_ ** _to **Thace**_

**Ulaz:** Honey

**Ulaz:** why are there ducks all over the bathtub???

**Thace:** Oh! Your nephew, Regris, sent us a few as part of a “welcome to the family” care package.

**Thace:** A little odd but it IS Regris

**Ulaz:** Normally I’d be more concerned but then again Regris has given weirder gifts

**Ulaz:** I’ll just push them to the side for now until we can find more space for them, ok?

**Thace:** sure, love! Personally, I like the splash of yellow to the bathroom :D 

* * *

 

**_Thace_ ** _to **RegRage**_

**Thace:** He’s got no fucking clue

**Thace:** Operation: Drive my Future Husband Mad With Ducks is a go

**Regris:** BEST UNCLE EVER

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE DUCKS CANNOT BE STOPPED only relocated to an unsuspecting college professor's bathroom and also to an FBI agent's "sanctuary of Regris u cannot come in I am in the shower and I WILL SING SHOWTUNES UNTIL YOUR EARS ERRUPT!"
> 
> The best part of this chapter is that this is basically what inspired the whole damn chat. It’s a shtick done by James Veitch, and it’s GLORIOUS. If you want to see the comedy genius that got me to writing, [here’s the link to his Conan show.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f5d8pVg3Qtg)


	20. Semester Finale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SEMESTER IS OVER and our team is off for break! It's going to be one hell of a goodbye tho!

**PALADINS ASSEMBLE VOLTRON**

**Lancelot(offun):** GUESS WHICH GROUP OF SLEEP DEPRIVED UNDERGRADS JUST FINISHED THEIR FINALS

 **_Lancelot(offun)_ ** _sent one photo_

 **Lancelot(offun):** THESE LOSERS

 **PrincessPink:** Wow I didn’t think you guys looked that exhausted this morning when I saw you

 **Matt-o-fact:** I don’t even think I saw Lance in the last 48 hours

 **Mulletboi:** Lance ghosted us all

 **Hunkahunka:** I had to use Find my Friends to find him

 **ShiroGONE:** as long as you are all alive and passed we can get onto break as

 **PrincessPink:** Shiro?

 **Pidgeot:** SPACE DAD???

 **ShiroGONE:** oh this phone belongs to Mr. Shirogane?

 **Mulletboi:** Who is this???

 **ShiroGONE:** I am Dr. Slav in the Astronomy department! There was a 1/100th chance that this would belong to any Shirogane in any universe where I am his advising professor, which would happen in 6% of universes.

 **Lancelot(offun):** You mean Dr. Slav as in Slav the professor?

 **ShiroGONE:** INDEED!

 **Mulletboi:** Where exactly did you find my brother’s phone???

 **ShiroGONE:** Oh! You must be his brother! I remember him mentioning you on the introduction day, which I must say there was a .03% chance of me remembering of the 11% of universes where he used you as his unique fact. I found this phone at his desk, which happens to occur 5.5% of the time of the dimensions.

 **Pidgeot:** I’m beginning to understand Shiro.

 **ShiroGONE:** What do you mean by that?

 **Pidgeot:** well

 **Hunkahunka:** she means she respects your intellect as Shiro does

 **Pidgeot:** exactly

 **PrincessPink:** who has pidge’s phone?

 **Mulletboi:** hunk stole it and gave it to Shay

 **Pidgeot:** I am pidge what are you talking about?

 **ShiroGONE:** Well I approached his desk to get some feedback on a theory I was working on, as I do in 33% of dimensions where this equation is brought up, when he disappeared on me, which either means he was never here (4% likelihood) or I missed him and he forgot his phone (3.9%)

 **Matt-o-fact:** Hello Professor Slav this is Mathew Holt. I will come by to pick up his phone. We’re housemates you see. I’m actually outside the building now

 **ShiroGONE:** WONDERFUL. Do you mind me getting input from you about a theory of mine?

 **Matt-o-fact:** I love Shiro I love Shiro Patience yields focus Patience yields Shiro quiznacking owing me

 **ShiroGONE:** I am confused by this response, which only happens in .009% of conversations with me in any given universe.

 **Pidgeot:** RIP in pieces Holt

 **PrincessPink:** *sigh* I better go save the BFs…

* * *

 

**WE HAVE TO STUDY**

**Pidgeot:** Group snuggle session at Castle?

 **FeShay:** Pidge you’re standing right next to us

 **Pidgeot:** talking hard tired

 **Pidgeot:** also dealing with human interaction withdrawal

 **Pidgeot:** need hugs

 **Pidgeot:** snuggles

 **Lancelot(offun):** she’s sleep deprived and touch starved

 **Mulletboi:** we can’t let her suffer

 **Hunkahunka:** Pidge get on my back I’ll carry you

 **Pidgeot:** yasssssss Hunks hugs good

 **Lancelot(offun):** Hunks hugs are the best

 **Lancelot(offun):** so… instead of celebratory drinks cuz’ it’s fucking 10:30 in the AM and we’re all fucking too weird to be normal college students, snuggle session in Castle followed by Christmas cookies?

 **FeShay:** PLEASE

* * *

**The Walking Disasters**

**PrincessPink:** no one say anything when you walk in

 **PrincessPink:** I just found the undergrads in a nest in the living room all freaking passed out HARD

 **ShiroGONE:** Can we do the same? Slav is exhausting

 **Matt-o-fact:** I can’t believe you say that when you were hiding from him. I, your dearest boyfriend, had to listen to his rambling

 **ShiroGONE:** I just finished grading 120 exams and have been listening to him all semester. I am TIRED

 **PrincessPink:** I’m pulling more blankets we’re taking a nap ASAP

 **Matt-o-fact:** I call middle tho I need protection from the theories

 **PrincessPink:** I can’t believe I’m dating you nerds

 **ShiroGONE:** but you love us

 **PrincessPink:** yeah I do <3

* * *

**It’s That Time of Year Bitches**

**ShiroGONE:** is everyone ready for break?

 **FeShay:** I can’t believe I won’t see you guys for a month :(

 **FeShay:** I ALREADY MISS YOU HUNK

 **Hunkahunka:** I WILL FACETIME YOU BUT I MISS YOU TOO

 **PrincessPink:** wait when does everyone leave

 **Matt-o-fact:** I mean technically the Holts, Broganes, and Altean Squad don’t have any set plans because we’re decently close, but we’ll probably move on Friday once exam week is officially over

 **Lancelot(offun):** my plane leaves Saturday morning

 **Mulletboi:** I’m going to miss u when you’re in Cuba then at home

 **Lancelot(offun):** I swear I’ll get a Sim asap when I get there so I can see your cute face

 **Pidgeot:** save your minutes with the chat and just be gross with Keith

 **Lancelot(offun):** RUDE

 **ShiroGONE:** what are you thinking, Allura?

 **PrincessPink:** why not one last hooray before we go our semi-separate ways before the holidays? We can do Arusian Nectar for drinks and food and the Lion’s Den for piano play. They’re bringing in duel pianos before the holidays, and they’re letting under 21 in (but u can’t get drinks because duh).

 **Lancelot(offun):** HELL YES SING ALONG TO DISNEY SONGS

 **Mulletboi:** Allura, piano, my weakness

 **Matt-o-fact:** I thought your weakness was Lance

 **Matt-o-fact:** and bright colors

 **Matt-o-fact:** and feelings

 **Mulletboi:** why can’t I kill him?

 **ShiroGONE:** No killing my bf

 **Lancelot(offun):** YOU WANNA GO HOLT

 **Matt-o-fact:** BRING IT MCCLAIN

 **Pidgeot:** noodle fight! Noodle fight!

 **FeShay:** I’ve never been to dueling pianos but that sounds wonderful!

 **Hunkahunka:** I’m in! I love Arusian’s menu!

 **Hunkahunka:** all of it is a beautiful blend of spices

 **Pidgeot:** I got nothing better to do

 **Mulletboi:** IDK I’m feeling pretty attacked right now

 **Lancelot(offun):** *pauses in beating up Holt 1.0* BABE IT’S NOT A PARTY WITHOUT US

 **ShiroGONE:** I’ll buy mozzarella sticks

 **Mulletboi:** In

 **PrincessPink:** gotta love how bribable everyone in this chat is when it comes to food

 **Lancelot(offun):** in our defense – college students

 **ShiroGONE:** worse: GRAD students

 **Pidgeot:** HUNK’S FOOD

 **FeShay:** WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER

 **Hunkahunka:** oooo they have a chicken dinner special on Thursday

 **PrincessPink:** THIRSTY THURSDAY WE DESCEND INTO HELL

 **Pidgeot:** most of this chat is too young to drink

 **Matt-o-fact:** we’re in hell already

 **ShiroGONE:** we can tell they’re related 

* * *

 

 **_Hunkahunka_ ** _to **FeShay**_

 **Hunkahunka:** Hey we’re headed to the restaurant! Do you want a lift at all?

 **FeShay:** no worries! Hey, is it ok if Plax and Flor come? They’re bored and looking pathetic.

 **Hunkahunka:** Group says YES

 **Hunkahunka:** or I guess “YASSS MORE THE MERRIER” from Lance

 **FeShay:** THANK YOU! The girls are really happy to come. 

* * *

 

 **_Pidgeot_ ** _added **Lancelot(offun), FeShay, Hunkahunka, PrincessPink, ShiroGONE, Matt-o-fact,** and **Mulletboi** to the chat!_

 **_Pidgeot_ ** _renamed the chat **TOLS AND SMOLS AND (no) ALCOHOLS!**_

 **Pidgeot:** I CAN’T HEAR ANYTHING WHY IS THIS PLACE SO LOUD

 **Pidgeot:** also someone add Flor and Plax I don’t have their digits

 **Lancelot(offun):** I CAN’T BELIEVE YOUR ROOMMATES WERE IN MY CLASS ALL YEAR

 **FeShay:** I can’t believe you were in pilates with them

 **Lancelot(offun):** Ok I have their numbers I’m adding them to the chat

 **_Lancelot(offun)_ ** _added **Plaximama** and **FloralQueen** to the chat!_

 **FloralQueen:** I CAN’T BELIEVE FLEXILANCE WAS HUNK’S LANCE THIS WHOLE TIME!!!

 **Lancelot(offun):** I CAN’T BELIEVE SHAY’S ROOMMATES WERE MY PILATES BUDDIES PLAXUM AND FLORONA!!!

 **Plaximama:** I can’t believe it took us this long to figure it out

 **Mulletboi:** I can’t believe it took this long to figure this out

 **FeShay:** are you two related???

 **Mulletboi:** not as far as I know but who knows I’m learning I have a lot of weird family this semester

 **Pidgeot:** why aren’t shalluratt and hunay chiming in?

 **Lancelot(offun):** Hunay is busy whispering to each other all cute and stuff and Shalluratt is going nuts with the song selections

 **Mulletboi:** I’m very concerned Shiro just pulled out his phone to google songs

 **ShiroGONE:** I can’t believe I didn’t see this sooner

 **FloralQueen:** HELLO SHIRO!

 **Pidgeot:** I can’t believe u guys were also in his discussion for Slav’s astro class

 **Plaximama:** We were so done with all the marine biology classes we needed a break

 **FloralQueen:** It also covered the physics requirement somehow

 **Lancelot(offun):** fun fact I ALMOST majored in marine biology but some nerd with a mullet OBVI forced me into competition and helped me discover my love of engineering

 **Lancelot(offun):** and my love for a certain mullethead <3

 **Mulletboi:** *clutches heart* love this noodle <3

 **Plaximama:** goals right there

 **FloralQueen:** Keith, if Lance wasn’t helping something on some machine or stretch, he was singing your praises

 **Mulletboi:** seriously???

 **Lancelot(offun):** I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND KEITH KOGANE

 **Pidgeot:** ew

 **Pidgeot:** get out of my chat

 **ShiroGONE:** Get ready losers Allura out down twenty on mullan’s “I’ll make a man out of you”

 **Pidgeot:** I’m getting the camera out 

* * *

 

**It’s That Time of Year Bitches**

**_Pidgeot_ ** _sent one video_

 **Pidgeot:** gold 

* * *

 

**TOLS AND SMOLS AND (no) ALCOHOLS**

**FloralQueen:** Thanks for inviting us out for the night! It was so much fun!!!

 **FeShay:** WHAT DID U GET ME HUNK I WANT TO OPEN IT!!!

 **Hunkahunka:** It’s a secret WAIT UNTIL CHRISTMAS

 **PrincessPink:** He keeps looking at the bag you gave him and muttering “I’m gonna be good for santa” then “but I want to open it…”

 **Hunkahunka:** HOW COULD YOU EXPOSE ME ALLURA

 **PrincessPink:** Sorry sweetie but you are so cute

 **Lancelot(offun):** He really is adorable

 **Lancelot(offun):** Shay can I keep him???

 **FeShay:** IDK ask keith

 **Mulletboi:** …

 **Lancelot(offun):** *whisper* u are my fav boi

 **Mulletboi:** (｡◕‿‿◕｡)

 **Matt-o-fact:** as long as Shalluratt is still the best

 **Pidgeot:** I’m shutting you down right now because I’m not planning another couple’s challenge

 **Matt-o-fact:** ROOD

 **Matt-o-fact:** DENY’S PARKING LOT NOW

 **Hunkahunka:** dear gods… not again… 

* * *

 

 **_Lancelot(offun)_ ** _to **Mulletboi**_

 **Lancelot(offun):** I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M LEAVING U TOMORROW

 **Mulletboi:** Boyfriend… Vacation in the Caribbean… Hm…

 **Lancelot(offun):** I would give up a vacation ANYWHERE to be with you

 **Lancelot(offun):** But I haven’t seen most of my fam since summer and Tio Angelo and Tia Maria and the kids since last year and HRN

 **Lancelot(offun):** Come with me

 **Mulletboi:** I don’t have airfare

 **Lancelot(offun):** I’ll pack u in my suitcase

 **Lancelot(offun):** You’re small and adorable and will totally fit

 **Mulletboi:** I AM NOT SMALL AND ADORABLE

 **Lancelot(offun):** YES YOU ARE

 **Mulletboi:** I will, for the sake of Red, be the bigger person here and not fight

 **Lancelot(offun):** so get in the suitcase???

 **Mulletboi:** I’ve seen your bags. We’re not getting me in unless u leave ALL the face and skin products

 **Lancelot(offun):** *tosses out everything*

 **Mulletboi:** Lance, as much as this is adorable, you should spend time with your family. Besides, distance makes the heart stronger and all that :D We can call and text whenever you want, and PLEASE DO I’ll need saving from all the Shalluratt shenanigans

 **Mulletboi:** though do bring me back something cool from Cuba

 **Lancelot(offun):** I know I know but it’s still weird like I’ve seen u guys almost every day this year, lived in this house since May, and now I’m just leaving and…

 **Mulletboi:** I know. I get it.

 **Mulletboi:** Do u want any help?

 **Lancelot(offun):** contrary to popular belief I DO know where all my stuff is in this mess I call a room and have a system in place

 **Lancelot(offun):** And Hunk offered to drive me to the airport tomorrow

 **Lancelot(offun):** BUT if u want to come in and IDK watch TV then snuggle when I’m done I’m not opposed

 **Mulletboi:** I can come with to the airport tomorrow, too, of you want. From the pace Pidge and Matt are going, we definitely won’t be leaving before you.

 **Lancelot(offun):** Best friend AND boyfriend to wish me off? BEST 

* * *

 

**It’s That Time of Year Bitches**

**Lancelot(offun):** OMG I AM ON THE PLAN I AM GOING TO MISS YOU MOFOS

 **Pidgeot:** plan

 **Matt-o-fact:** plan

 **Lancelot(offun):** DON’T EXPOSE ME

 **Mulletboi:** plan

 **Lancelot(offun):** I would be screaming right now but I don’t want to get booted off another plane especially this close to the holidays

 **ShiroGONE:** I am having a severe déjà vu moment right now

 **PrincessPink:** how did u get the dash thingies???

 **ShiroGONE:** Auto correct :D

 **Hunkahunka:** also Spanish keyboard

 **FeShay:** I’M GOING TO MISS YOU ALL!!!

 **Hunkahunka:** I AM GOING TO MISS YOU ALL TOO

 **Hunkahunka:** also lance check your front pocket of your carry on

 **Lancelot(offun):** what

 **Lancelot(offun):** HOLY SHIT

 **Lancelot(offun):** WHEN DID THESE COOKIES GET HERE???

 **Hunkahunka:** I couldn’t let you go without a few for the ride! I also had a special elf help.

 **Hunkahunka:** one who was a mess but could follow directions

 **_Hunkahunka_ ** _sent 1 photo_

 **Mulletboi:** HUNK DON’T EXPOSE ME

 **Pidgeot:** OMG I AM SAVING THIS

 **ShiroGONE:** *saved already to the brother file

 **PrincessPink:** HIS HAIR IS WHITE LIKE SNOW

 **Matt-o-fact:** Kelf

 **Matt-o-fact:** Keith the friendly elf?

 **FeShay:** that’s casper the friendly ghost

 **Lancelot(offun):** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **Pidgeot:** Lance.exe has stopped working

 **ShiroGONE:** We did it. The demon is defeated

 **Matt-o-fact:** shoulda known adorable Brogane would do him in

 **PrincessPink:** I mean I’m PRETTY SURE it’s also the season

 **Lancelot(offun):** Guys I’m crying WTF

 **Lancelot(offun):** the lady next to me handed me a hankerchief and asked what was wrong but then she saw my phone and just GAVE ME THIS LOOK

 **Lancelot(offun):** and she goes SONNY I KNOW THE FEELING A CUTIE LIKE THAT U HOLD ONTO then she pulls up her phone and shows me a picture and like MY HUSBAND AND I JUST CELEBRATED FIFTY

 **Lancelot(offun):** Then she explains she’s meeting him at the terminal with the kids for the holidays and I’m like

  **Lancelot(offun):** THIS WILL BE MY FUTURE SHARING HANKIES AND BEING ADORABLE WITH KEITH AND ME ON THE WALLPAPER

 **Mulletboi:** SHFGHEBEGIUGBG

 **Pidgeot:** U two are gross

 **PrincessPink:** *ly adorable

 **Pidgeot:** sometimes

 **Hunkahunka:** IS PIDGE BEING NICE???

 **FeShay:** CHRISTMAS MIRACLE

 **Pidgeot:** I’m just going to cut u off there but yes they’re cute and I’m going to miss you all over break

 **Pidgeot:** except matt who I can’t seemingly escape and I’ll probably end up at the Altea’s and Shirogane’s by the end of next week anyway because they all live so damn close to me

 **Pidgeot:** But to the people who are heading out of state know that I’ll miss you guys

 **FeShay:** I’m going to miss you all, too! You’ve become such great friends to me this semester, and more for my boo Hunk, and I just… I’m just crying I’m gonna miss you all

 **Hunkahunka:** NONE OF YOU ARE LEAVING WITHOUT MY COOKIES I am going to have a baking marathon to send all my love to you all (and Shay I’m giving u special heart cookies <3)

 **PrincessPink:** I’M GOING TO MISS YOU ALL SO MUCH

 **Matt-o-fact:** oh yeah you’re going to Britain aren’t you?

 **PrincessPink:** I’ll be there for New Years and most of the first two weeks of January. Father and I go home to all our zany relatives there and also visit mom’s grave

 **ShiroGONE:** You have us with u always princess <3

 **Matt-o-fact:** I will ship myself to Britain if I have to <3

 **Lancelot(offun):** U GUYS

 **Lancelot(offun):** I want to continue but THE PLANE IS LEAVING

 **Mulletboi:** U BETTER TEXT ME WHEN U LAND I NEED TO KNOW U ARE ALRIGHT

 **Lancelot(offun):** BET U WILL GET A TEXT FROM A RANDOM CUBAN PHONE AND IT WILL BE A STRING OF HEARTS BECAUSE I LOVE U

 **Mulletboi:** I AM GOING TO MISS YOUR STUPID LOVELY FACE BE CAREFUL I LOVE YOU

 **Lancelot(offun):** I LOVE YOU AND ALL OF YOU

 **Lancelot(offun):** If nothing else HAPPY HOLIDAYS HOES and have a FABULOUS NEW YEAR I WILL PHYSICALLY SEE YOU ALL IN 2018

 **Pidgeot:** Later losers! Have a great break and see u either next week or next year!

 **Matt-o-fact:** SAFE TRAVELS AND HAPPY HOLS

 **ShiroGONE:** be safe don’t give space dad any heart attacks please I have enough white hairs already

 **Hunkahunka:** I WISH YOU ALL A GREAT HOLIDAY AND SEE YOU WHEN AFTER THE HOLIDAYS!!!

 **FeShay:** SAME but CALL ME TEXT ME GUYS

 **Pidgeot:** SOCIAL MEDIA

 **Lancelot(offun):** BET

 **Lancelot(offun):** ok phone off BYE GUYS!!!

**_Lancelot(offun)_** _has gone offline._

**_ShiroGONE, PrincessPink, Matt-o-fact, Pidgeot, Hunkahunka, FeShay,_ ** _and **Mulletboi** have gone offline._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _**Mak** has come online._  
>  **Mak** : This has been one hell of a ride guys and I have enjoyed it emmensely, but, as all good things, it must come to an end. Chats are a LOT harder than they look, and I did this to help me get out of a funk. I’m going back to story-oriented Fanfics at this point.  
>  **Mak:** I wish you all the best into this new year (even though I’m posting this so late into 2018), and our Voltron team wishes you the best as well!  
>  **RegRage:** she’s already working on more Voltron Fics  
>  **Mak:** REGRIS HOW DID U GET HERE???  
>  **RegRage:** Pidge  
>  **Pidgeot:** Your security tanks  
>  **Matt-o-fact:** Get with it gurl  
>  **Mak:** YOU ALL ARE TERRIBLE  
>  **Mak:** But I still love you all  <3  
>  _ **Regrage, Pidgeot,** and **Matt-o-fact** have gotten the f*ck out of this chat._  
>  **Mak:** Hehe all according to Kekku *kekku means plan  
>  **Mak:** but yes I will be back with more Voltron soon enough! Lots going on over here at HQ, and I’ll be back before you know it! UNTIL NEXT TIME :3  
> 


End file.
